ARM Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life (Terry Pratchett, Jingo)

HeadCrab bots pinch 1,000+ Redis servers to mine coins

(2023/02/04)

We devoting full time to floating under /etc



Activision-Blizzard pays $35m to send SEC away, Microsoft merger still in doubt

(2023/02/04)

Allegations of stifled whistleblowing and disclosure failures end with no admission of guilt, as usual



Google works on Blink-based iOS browser contrary to Apple's WebKit rule

(2023/02/03)

Chocolate Factory insists project is an internal testing tool, isn't extending middle finger at Cupertino



Microsoft swears it's not coming for your data with scan for old Office versions

(2023/02/03)

Don't mind us, we'll just have a quick look for unsupported installs and then disappear, we pwoooomise



Fast-evolving Prilex POS malware can block contactless payments

(2023/02/03)

... forcing users to insert their cards into less-secure PIN systems



Guy accused of wrecking crypto exchange now hauled into court

(2023/02/03)

Mango Markets still offline for now ... but v4 comeback release looms



It's your human hubris holding back AI acceptance

(2023/02/03)

Boffins find Dunning-Kruger effect makes us think we know better



As Apple sales slide, Tim Cook says fanbois will tolerate higher iPhone prices

(2023/02/03)

As for Macs, CEO admits PC industry is shrinking



LibreOffice 7.5 update: A great time to jump on this FOSS productivity suite

(2023/02/03)

FOSDEM Decent upgrade from older versions, essential if you're still on OpenOffice



British government torched over lack of chips strategy

(2023/02/03)

When you say it's gonna happen now... when exactly do you mean?



Wow, turns out cloud sales can slow down – eh, Amazon, Google?

(2023/02/03)

As tech giants 'optimize' workforces, world optimizes amount of money it spends on computing services



Generative AI is out of control: Nothing, Forever is a Seinfeld spoof about nothing... forever

(2023/02/03)

Updated It's... actually kind of funny, though*



Qualcomm feels the squeeze because you don't want a new smartphone right now

(2023/02/03)

Stop us if you've heard this one



Another RAC staffer nabbed for storing, sharing car crash data

(2023/02/03)

Once is an accident. Twice is coincidence. Surely there won't be a third for roadside assistance biz



Prepare to be shocked: Employees hate this One Weird Clause

(2023/02/03)

Poll Wish you could IP Freely? What's the wording holding you back in your current job?



WINE Windows translation layer has matured like a fine... you get the picture

(2023/02/03)

Along with DXVK 2.1, more and better compatibility comes to Linux – we'll drink to that



No, you cannot safely run a network operations center from a corridor

(2023/02/03)

On Call Rack full of kit predictably became a network disruption center



LockBit brags it pumped ION full of ransomware

(2023/02/03)

Crims put a February 4 deadline for software slinger to pay up



ChatGPT (sigh) the fastest-growing web app in history (sigh) claim analysts

(2023/02/03)

Two months to reach 100 million active monthly users, but how many will stay?



Chinese surveillance balloon over US causes fearful gasbagging

(2023/02/03)

Updated Floats over missile silos, shooting it down ruled more dangerous than whatever it's up to



More

Bill Gates Passes Turing Test

LONDON, ENGLAND -- Microsoft proclaimed that they have passed the Turing
Test by creating a Bill Gates multimedia simulacrum that crack BBC
interviewer Jeremy Paxman couldn't distinguish from the real thing. "I
never would have expected this," Paxman said about the Gates AI program.
"After all, this Microsoft program actually worked for an extended period
of time, something you don't see very often."

Microsoft has plans to mass-produce the Bill Gates holographic simulation
by 2010 or so. "The hardware just isn't there yet for home use," a
Microserf explained. "By then, though, Intel's Itanium 6 Super Pro Plus
III CPU running at 600 Ghz or whatever should be sufficient." Windows 2010
is expected to include the Bill Gates simulation, making the World's
Richest Man(tm) accessible to the entire world.

A newly printed brochure for the faux-Gates advertises, "Need help running
Windows 2010? Bill Gates will sit beside you and guide you through the
system. Have a question for the world's sexiest and smartest nerd? He'll
answer it. Wondering if free and open source software is a plot by
Communists freaks to overthrow the free market system? He'll be there to
explain. Want to ask for a personal loan? Sorry, won't happen."