I was in a bar and I walked up to a beautiful woman and said, "Do you live
around here often?" She said, "You're wearing two different-color socks."
I said, "Yes, but to me they're the same because I go by thickness."
She said, "How do you feel?" And I said, "You know when you're sitting on a
chair and you lean back so you're just on two legs and you lean too far so
you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like
that all the time..."
-- Steven Wright, "Gentlemen's Quarterly"