ARM Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life (Terry Pratchett, Jingo)

US charges 16 over 'depraved' grandparent scams

(2024/05/01)

Vulnerable elderly people tricked into paying tens of thousands over fake car accidents



AWS customer faces staggering charges over S3 bucket misfire

(2024/05/01)

Open source tool fingered for 100 million PUT requests and $1,300 in a day



Tesla maps out new territory in China with Baidu deal

(2024/05/01)

U-turn necessary to comply with Chinese law



Microsoft's FOMO after seeing Google AI drove investment in OpenAI

(2024/05/01)

Historical email in antitrust case shows execs 'very, very worried' about capability gaps



Qantas app glitch sees boarding passes fly to other accounts

(2024/05/01)

Issue now resolved and isn't thought to be the work of criminals



Microsoft confesses April Windows update breaks some VPN connections

(2024/05/01)

Connection failures reported following installation



AMD datacenter sales surge 80% in Q1 despite market's lukewarm reception

(2024/05/01)

Chip giant forecasts strong GPU growth amid mixed financial results



AI boom is great news for the nuclear power dreamers

(2024/05/01)

Uranium is so hot right now, mining CEO is glowing with enthusiasm



Lakehouse dam breaks after departure of long-time Teradata CTO

(2024/05/01)

Updated Data warehousing giant abandons stance against hybrid analytics



Space insurers make record-breaking loss as orbit gets cramped

(2024/05/01)

'Unsustainable' losses neared $1B in 2023



Intel, Ampere show running LLMs on CPUs isn't as crazy as it sounds

(2024/05/01)

If you lower you expectations, of course. Think more Llama2-7B, less GPT-4



VMware by Broadcom blinks again – this time easing change for cloud service providers

(2024/05/01)

As the rumor mill whispers about a breakup with AWS



Bill advances to exonerate hundreds in Post Office Horizon scandal

(2024/05/01)

'Their convictions wiped clean from the slate,' minister promises



Tech industry sheds some light on the planet's situation via LinkedIn

(2024/05/01)

Comment Kyndryl exec ponders 'fragility of the planet,' as Intel and Amazon offer advice



Google Search results polluted by buggy AI-written code frustrate coders

(2024/05/01)

Analysis Pulumi claims it has culled bad infrastructure-as-code samples



Huawei's woes really were just a flesh wound – profits just soared 564 percent

(2024/05/01)

The Chinese domestic market doesn't care about sanctions



Java 17 now developers' favorite brew, with Eclipse Adoptium proving popular, too

(2024/05/01)

New Relic report also sees accelerated uptake of freshly-ground JDK releases



AWS hits $100B revenue run rate, expands margins, delivers most of Amazon's profit

(2024/05/01)

Growth is rather slower than cloudy rivals, but boss Andy Jassy can explain that



Imagine if Uber offered car loans, not just rides. Its Indonesian analog will do this soon

(2024/05/01)

Superapp GoTo has an angle on everything – even taming TikTok



Open source programming language R patches gnarly arbitrary code exec flaw

(2024/05/01)

Updated An ACE in the hole for miscreants



More

8GB Ought To Be Enough For Anybody

REDMOND, WA -- In a shocking move, Microsoft has revealed that the new
Xbox console will only contain an 8 gigabyte hard drive. This implies that
the machines will use a version of the Windows operating system that fits
within only 8GB. Squeezing Windows into such a small footprint must
certainly be one of the greatest technological achievements ever crafted
by Microsoft's Research & Assimilation Department.

"I can't believe it," said one industry observer who always happens to
show up when this Humorix reporter needs to quote somebody. "To think that
they were able to strip away the easter egg flight simulators, the
multi-gigabyte yet content-free Help files, and all of the other crap that
comes bundled with Windows is simply remarkable. I don't even want to
think about all of the manpower, blood, sweat, and tears required to
distill Windows into only 8 gigabytes of bare essentials. Wow!"

Hard drive manufacturers are deeply disturbed over the news. Explained one
PR flack at Eastern Analog, "We depend on Microsoft to continually produce
bloated software that becomes larger and larger with each passing day. We
can't sell huge 100GB drives if Microsoft Windows only occupies a measly 8
gigs! They will never buy a new drive if Microsoft doesn't force them!"