ARM Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life (Terry Pratchett, Jingo)

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iPhone 16 dubbed Apple's most repairable model in years

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AI to power the corporate Windows 11 refresh? Nobody's buying that

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Opinion Microsoft should look to Apple for lessons in flogging dead horses



Did you hear the one about the help desk chap who abused privileges to prank his mate?

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Move over, Cobalt Strike. Splinter’s the new post-exploit menace in town

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Counter-arguments in support spat paint unflattering picture of telco giant's IT estate



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Apple's latest macOS release is breaking security software, network connections

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Intel has officially entered the grin and bear it phase of its recovery

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Comment Gelsinger sold the world on his foundry vision. Walking away won't be easy



Heart of glass: Human genome stored for 'eternity' in 5D memory crystal

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More

8GB Ought To Be Enough For Anybody

REDMOND, WA -- In a shocking move, Microsoft has revealed that the new
Xbox console will only contain an 8 gigabyte hard drive. This implies that
the machines will use a version of the Windows operating system that fits
within only 8GB. Squeezing Windows into such a small footprint must
certainly be one of the greatest technological achievements ever crafted
by Microsoft's Research & Assimilation Department.

"I can't believe it," said one industry observer who always happens to
show up when this Humorix reporter needs to quote somebody. "To think that
they were able to strip away the easter egg flight simulators, the
multi-gigabyte yet content-free Help files, and all of the other crap that
comes bundled with Windows is simply remarkable. I don't even want to
think about all of the manpower, blood, sweat, and tears required to
distill Windows into only 8 gigabytes of bare essentials. Wow!"

Hard drive manufacturers are deeply disturbed over the news. Explained one
PR flack at Eastern Analog, "We depend on Microsoft to continually produce
bloated software that becomes larger and larger with each passing day. We
can't sell huge 100GB drives if Microsoft Windows only occupies a measly 8
gigs! They will never buy a new drive if Microsoft doesn't force them!"