ARM Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life (Terry Pratchett, Jingo)

Workday targets 'procurement software' market after bumper Q2, but boss man is big on ambition, thin on detail

(2020/09/16)

Customers clearly looking to simplify buying into supply chains – but the market is tougher than it looks

The pandemic isn't going away. We need to talk about the 'work from anywhere' enterprise

(2020/09/16)

'These changes won’t come overnight, but over a 3 to 5-year period, there could be very significant savings to be had'

0ops. 1,OOO-plus parking fine refunds ordered after drivers typed 'O' instead of '0'

(2020/09/16)

Inspectors tried to let them off the hook, council managers held firm

Aerospike drags mainframes kicking and screaming into the modern world by feeding their data through Apache Spark

(2020/09/16)

ML, analytics connector reduces memory demand, says database firm

Ever found yourself praying to whatever deity runs Microsoft Teams? You're not alone

(2020/09/16)

Don't mind us just trying to enlighten the mood

Singapore to pay its citizens to wear Apple Watches

(2020/09/16)

National health promotion will pump instructions onto wrists and - if you behave - cover up to 90% of device cost

Net neutrality lives... in Europe, anyway: Top court supports open internet rules, snubs telcos and ISPs

(2020/09/16)

It only took five years

Microsoft open-sources fuzzing tool it uses in-house to keep Windows so very secure

(2020/09/16)

Erm ... guys ... have you looked at recent patch counts? (We have: you issued 372 this quarter, 54 critical)

The Battle of Britain couldn't have been won without UK's homegrown tech innovations

(2020/09/16)

Radars, aeroplanes, radio: Don't forget the boffins on this 80th anniversary

Top Chinese central banker says Beijing’s digital currency must be restricted to big commercial banks

(2020/09/16)

Alibaba and Tencent left to offer mediated wallets rather than potentially become private currencies

'Work is an activity not a place' got tired on LinkedIn about three months ago, but Citrix just based its new logo on the idea

(2020/09/16)

Dot over an X instead of an I ‘illustrates our commitment to empowering every individual’

Worried about bootkits, rootkits, UEFI nasties? Have you tried turning on Secure Boot, asks the No Sh*! Agency

(2020/09/16)

And have you tried simply asking hackers to not hack?

At the very last Moment.js: Time-and-date JavaScript library fetched 12 million times a week ends development

(2020/09/15)

Programmers put decade-old package out to pasture, advise devs to find alternatives

If you're modernizing your complex database stack and keep glancing at better storage, you're not alone

(2020/09/15)

We polled you IT pros out there on your info silo plans – and here are the results

Dunkin' Donuts drops some dough to glaze over lawsuit accusing it of covering up customer account hacks

(2020/09/15)

No way to sugarcoat this: New York AG eclairs the 2015 data theft matter settled

That long-awaited, super-hyped Apple launch: Watches, iPads... and one more thing. Oh, actually that's it

(2020/09/15)

OK, fine. Blood-oxygen level monitoring, hexa-core 5nm Arm processors, TV packages...

Oracle's Java 15 rides into town, waving the 'we're number one' flag, demands 25th birthday party

(2020/09/15)

'51 billion' active JVMs can't be wrong

Peek-a-boo! Windows Insiders play hide and seek with a Friday night update

(2020/09/15)

Also: GitHub and Teams action while Universal Print presses on

£2.5bn sueball claims Google slurps kids' YouTube browsing habits then sells them on

(2020/09/15)

Video platform is not for under-13s, insists spokesman

Samsung shaves 0.1μm off pixels to make new ISOCELL sensor lineup 15% slimmer

(2020/09/15)

Bid to banish camera bumps from smartphones, but smaller doesn't always mean better

Linux Rally Held in Pennsylvania

HARRISBURG, PA -- Thousands of Linux advocates gathered at the Pennsylvania
state capitol building earlier today. They were protesting the state's recent
three year deal with Microsoft to install Windows NT on all state computer
systems. "Whatever pointy haired boss made this deal ought to be shot on
sight," one protestor exclaimed. "Windows NT is a piece of [expletive] compared
to Linux. The taxpayers of Pennsylvania are going to be sorry three years from
now when this 'deal' concludes. The state has sold its soul to Satan [Bill
Gates]."

Brief hostilities broke out when a group of police officers armed with riot
gear descended on the protestors. After the police threatened to use tear gas,
the protestors threw thousands of Linux CDs at them. Once the supply of CDs was
depleted, the protest became peaceful again. "I saw several policemen pick up
Linux CDs and put them in their pockets," one protestor noted.

The protest broke up a few minutes later once it was realized that the state
legislature wasn't in session. "We may have wasted our time today," one
advocate said, "But we'll be back later." State and Microsoft officials were
unavailable for comment at press time. How typical.