ARM Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life (Terry Pratchett, Jingo)

Ignite your SQL Server with a broken Cumulative Update

(2020/09/29)

Plus: All the rest from Microsoft's shindig – it's only wafer-thin

G'day mate, I'll take two tinnies, a packet of Tim Tams, some Vegemite, and a bork

(2020/09/29)

Do you come from a bork down under?

McAfee seeks $2bn return to stock market after Intel unpleasantness

(2020/09/29)

Warns investors that big clouds could start to sell native security tools direct to customers and reduce the need for third-party vendors

Good news: Euro sat spots liquid pools on Mars. Bad news: Under ice, saltier than someone who put last penny into a failed crypto biz

(2020/09/29)

ESA also finds planet hot enough to melt iron

Square Kilometre Array signs off on construction plans – UK last holdout before building phase begins

(2020/09/29)

Now to figure out how to run 100,000-plus antennae and squeeze out 130 petabytes of data each year

Wanna get all those PST files off your network and into the cloud? We can help

(2020/09/29)

Join us and Quadrotech on September 30 and learn how to finally escape the 1990s

Airbus drone broke up in-flight because it couldn’t handle Australian weather

(2020/09/29)

‘Zephyr’ is designed to either beam down data or spy for weeks, but lasted about 90 minutes

Japan unveils new scheme to speed up adoption of cashless payments

(2020/09/29)

Already curiously slow to get into e-payments, nation hopes avoiding a certain virus will prove an impetus

Amazon bean-counter, her husband, father-in-law cough up $2.6m after SEC collars them on insider-trading rap

(2020/09/29)

Criminal charges to follow

Microsoft? More like: My software goes off... Azure AD, Outlook, Office.com, Teams, Authenticator, etc block unlucky folks from logging in

(2020/09/28)

Change backed out to no effect – eek

Flying camera drones, cuddly Echo gadgets... it's all a smoke screen for Amazon to lead you gently down the Sidewalk – and you'll probably like it

(2020/09/28)

Right, we own cloud, shipping, what's next? The home

With H-1B workers not exactly rushing to America this year, Uncle Sam plans to spend millions home-growing IT staff

(2020/09/28)

Department of Labor puts $150m into computer, cyber-security training grants to plug visa hole

UK, US hospital computers are down, early unofficial diagnosis is a suspected outbreak of Ryuk ransomware

(2020/09/28)

We've switched to back-up offline procedures, says Universal Health Services

Apple tailors Swift System library for open source and Linux support

(2020/09/28)

Multi-platform not cross-platform, says company – enough to increase interest in the language?

The hackers and criminals are playing hardball – so here’s a cloud SIEM playbook to help you fight back

(2020/09/28)

Think your old tools can’t cut it? Here’s the proof

Kioxia, the artist formerly known as Toshiba Memory Corporation, postpones IPO

(2020/09/28)

Blames market volatility caused by pandemic and US controls over Huawei

NHS COVID-19 app's first weekend: With fundamental testing flaw ironed out, bugs remaining are relatively trivial

(2020/09/28)

Shaky start out of the gates and still some issues, but at least it's here

SAP S/4HANA rollout at Queensland Health went so well that hospitals bent over backwards to avoid using it

(2020/09/28)

Leading to AU$540m in late invoice payments

No one likes a heart-stopping AWS bill shock so now there's a machine learning tool to help detect cost anomalies

(2020/09/28)

Unexpected item in bagging area?

Despite rolling a homegrown translation app with iOS 14, Apple resorts to freebie tool for Dutch Ts-and-Cs waffle

(2020/09/28)

'I didn't expect this kind of work from Apple.' Sorry, did you see Catalina?
More

New Crime Identified: "Tech Rage"

HARRISBURG, IL -- The police department in this Illinois town has coined a
new term for a growing trend in crime: "tech rage". Tech rage shares many
similarities with another modern crime, "road rage", but instead of
affecting drivers, tech rage is experienced by disgruntled computer users.

The first documented case of tech rage involves a Microsoft salesman, Bob
Glutzfield, who convinced the local TV station to "upgrade" its computer
systems from Macintosh to Wintel. While the migration seemed successful at
first, the Blue Screen became more prevalent during the following months.

Then, in January, the entire computer system crashed in the middle of the
weather forecast during the 10 o'clock evening news. Viewers could plainly
see the Blue Screen of Death showing in the monitors behind James Roland,
the chief meteorologist. The instability of Windows 98 stretched Roland's
patience until he snapped last week and succumbed to tech rage.

Roland tracked down the Microsoft salesman and followed him one evening to
his apartment. The weatherman yelled at the bewildered Microserf, "You
[expletive]! Because of you, I'm the [expletive] laughing stock of Southern
Illinois!" and then proceeded to beat him up. Roland is currently out on
bond pending trial next month.