Who needs ghost train scares when Windows is such a fright?
- Reference: 1777629606
- News link: https://www.theregister.co.uk/2026/05/01/ghost_train_bork/
- Source link:
For Register reader Andy Bailey, it's Windows showing its face in the gift shop of an Alton Towers ghost train. Yes, the image might be a bit wobble-inducing, but that Windows Explorer error? Truly horrifying. And that taskbar – it's probably Windows 10 or perhaps Windows 8. Certainly, the stuff of nightmares as far as Microsoft is concerned.
[1]
The operating system that refused to die (click to enlarge)
Alton Towers is a UK theme park, notable for the introduction of the Corkscrew steel roller coaster in 1980. Bailey told us the ride he was on had originally been known as Duel, but "is now more of a standard ghost train."
For the uninitiated, a ghost train in this context is a relatively tame dark ride in which animatronic ghoulies wave at passengers and spooky stuff happens.
"No need to shoot anything these days," Bailey went on. "Just your stereotypical haunted house cliches, including giant spiders, freaky dolls, and claps of thunder.
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"Until, that is, you reach the gift shop, where the walls are adorned with spooky portraits, and …"
[3]Google Meet or Google Mute? Even CEOs get borked sometimes
[4]Would you like fries with that terminal?
[5]Showing the Windows 10 desktop was the yeast they could do
[6]Seville: Famed for blue skies and now Blue Screens of Death
Well, you can see for yourself. Not content with the ghostly image, Windows has added to the horror with a "Memory could not be read" error in explorer.exe . The cause could be anything. Some failing hardware. A driver having a bad day (the memory address might mean drivers are involved). Or just some shoddy code somewhere. Whatever the cause, it's likely more frightening for an IT professional, having to deal with the inevitable helpdesk request, than anything that might jump from the shadows on a ghost train.
All of this got us thinking. What would a scary ride for an IT professional look like? Windows' Clippy lumbering out of the shadows like an undead AI assistant? A vampire in an Oracle hoodie explaining licensing minutiae? Or a Windows Update appearing unbidden and unexpectedly derailing the carriage, leaving the rider trapped in a never-ending reboot cycle?
[7]
We're sure the ever-creative Register readership can add to this list of tech industry terrors.
In the meantime, don't have nightmares. ®
Get our [8]Tech Resources
[1] https://regmedia.co.uk/2026/04/28/bork_woo.jpg
[2] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_software/oses&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=2&c=2afTOKeifw2c4CIwlp2AVBgAAABc&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D2%26raptor%3Dcondor%26pos%3Dtop%26test%3D0
[3] https://www.theregister.com/2026/04/23/google_cloud_next_videoconf_issues/
[4] https://www.theregister.com/2026/04/17/bork_jack_in_the_box/
[5] https://www.theregister.com/2026/04/08/windows_desktop_bakery/
[6] https://www.theregister.com/2025/12/28/seville_bork/
[7] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_software/oses&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=4&c=44afTOKeifw2c4CIwlp2AVBgAAABc&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D4%26raptor%3Dfalcon%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0
[8] https://whitepapers.theregister.com/
Re: Actually, this one is:
So scary,... it almost made me laugh ;-)
"What would a scary ride for an IT professional look like?"
You'd have a copilot...
0x000000000000030
Good, but formatting needs a tweak - replace the x with a w for the full effect
Yes, the image might be a bit wobble-inducing, but that Windows Explorer error? Truly horrifying.
I'd do her.
The small value suggests an attempt to dereference a null pointer.
Could be worse... In Russia
People die "accidentally", falling through Windows.
Scarey ride eh?
After a bit of brain storming (and liquid refreshment) here at roach employment (and occasional widget making)
Presenting ladies and gentlemen.... the windows ghost train
Which starts out as a simple electric cart outside a well decorated and kept entrance.... then it starts as you enter the door..... you notice the ride has become much rougher, nothing like the smooth ride advertised until you arrive at "Windows 95: adding a CD driver to the startup" tremble with fear as autoexec.bat looms over you with config.sys evil laughter in the background.... then you are on the line for your first internet explorer.... marvel at the shameless way m$ defrauded its creators, and the way it was incorporated deeply into windows until IE 6 gets your system pwned. then its onward and upward while ignoring the flaming track that says "Windows ME , abandon hope all ye who enter.".. then its the smooth ride of win Xp... with the vomit inducing service packs as m$ tried to get a successful OS until the swamp of windows vista , and despite your efforts to get out and push the cart along , it just gets slower and slower and slower until you escape the swamp to windows 7 and all seems good until the terrifying appearance of windows 8 replacing all the control icons with something made by a 5 year old while hiding all the actual control menus... but your hopes are raised as the sunlit uplands of win10 and win 11 are promised with a glowing light at the end of the tunnel although at this point you are faced with a choice of tracks with the question "Are you a 40 yr grizzled IT veteran?" selecting the "no" path takes you to the right and and deposits your cart back at the beginning of the ghost train ride, while selecting yes leads you to the left path that lights up suddenly with a sign saying ".dll hell" and your cart stops, tilts forward and you plunge into a bottomless pit.......
But in all fairness you could have chosen the linux ghost train, where you build your own cart and it rolls along quietly in the sunshine and stops and lets you off.
Actually, this one is:
Boooooooork!