Episode 6 The PFY and I are getting some training on the long-awaited new purchasing system and its much-vaunted AI matching module that, with a lot of training, will be able to automate the payment of invoices and free up our time. Or, in other words, prevent us from making sketchy or unapproved purchases.

"So you just SELECT an invoice on this panel, and then click on the MATCH button, which brings up the outstanding purchase orders. You then CLICK on the corresponding purchase order to you match your invoice to the purchase order, like so."

"It says no match," I say, pointing to the meeting room screen.

[1]

"Sure. If you click on the REVIEW MATCHING button it shows the purchase order on the left and the invoice on the right, highlighting the areas that don't match."

[2]

[3]

Our instructor steps through this as he's talking, bringing up a pair of documents with more highlights than an '80s pop star.

"Hmm, it looks like nothing matches!" our instructor observes.

[4]

"No, no, down at the bottom. The page numbers are OK."

"Well this is very unusual."

"In what way?" I ask. "The vendor doesn't match?"

[5]

"Yeah. That's I.T. companies. They're rebranded quicker than stolen horses."

"The item description doesn't match either," he notes.

"No; in the time it takes to raise a purchase order, the original item has often been superseded."

"Which, I take it, explains the price increase?" he asks.

"Typically," I admit.

"So, with this many mismatches the invoice will need to be approved by a line manager, as although it's within your delegated purchase authority, approving certain mismatches isn't."

"Which mismatches?" the PFY asks.

"Vendors need a 60 percent minimum match, item descriptions are Bayesian filtered, and your payment authority is limited to 10 percent either way."

"10 percent seems a little restrictive," the PFY points out.

"Nevertheless, it's immutable - unless you have the CFO's password," our instructor jokes.

"That would be #1974Cortina$$," the PFY says.

"Ha, ha, yes of course."

Before he can continue, the PFY has clicked on the AUTHORIZE button and bashed in the aforementioned passphrase. >clickety clickety< >tap< >tap< >tap<

"Uh - You can't change that!" our instructor gasps.

"Of course we can - we just did. Under your login too."

"No; you can't - we're working with live data!"

"Live approved data," the PFY says. "Let's try another one."

"No, I need to roll that approval back!"

"Do you though? It was a 90 quid order that came in at 115 quid. In terms of what it costs the Company to reverse a £25 anomaly, it's hardly worth your time."

"Yes, but you also gave yourself a 50 percent payment approval leeway."

"And we'll only use it on the small items. Cross my heart," the PFY says.

"No. No, this is live. What was that password again? "

"#1974Cortina$$"

>clickety clickety< >tap< >tap< >tap<

"There. All fixed."

"Remind me," I say to the PFY. "What's the Computer Misuse Act of 1990 say about accessing a system that you don't have permission to access?"

"What do you mean?" our instructor asks.

"You just used a password which wasn't yours to modify a system to which you had no approved access."

"You did it first!" our instructor gasps.

"Did we though?" the PFY asks. "I'm fairly sure my body cam didn't capture that. But I'm very sure it was on when you typed in someone else's credentials and made some changes to our live system data."

"I was just fixing a problem you created!"

"And we were just fixing a problem your system created. Anyway, don't worry about the financial approval leeway for now - we'll reset that later. How about we open up the credit card authority screen?" the PFY says.

"What credit card authority screen?"

"You know, the hidden menu that you access with Control-F12."

[6]BOFH : Every computer system eventually serves ads

[7]BOFH : Nobody would be stupid enough to go live with the mirror system, surely

[8]BOFH : All through the house, not a creature was stirring except the homicidal vacuum cleaner

[9]BOFH : Recover a database from five years ago? It's as easy as flicking a switch

>clicky<

"I... didn't know that module was there," he gasps.

"No, but still, while we're here, why don't you click on the review button, then my name, then add a zero to the amount, then click on approve, then type in #1974Cortina$$ again."

"Oh I can't."

"Sure you can - you did it before. Would you like me to replay it for you? Or should I just send the footage to the Company lawyers now?"

>click< >click< >click< >clickety clickety< >tap< >tap< >tap< >click<

"Right, so I guess you can close that and open up the Vendor sheet, and scroll down to the QUEENS ARMS vendor. Right. So delete QUEENS ARMS and just put an asterisk instead."

"Why?"

"Oh, just for matching purposes."

"But it's a wildcard, it won't match anything."

"Or it'll match everything." the PFY points out.

"Ah. I don't think..."

"What's the normal custodian sentence under the Misuse of Computers Act again?" I ask the PFY.

>click< >click< >clickety clickety< >tap< >tap< >tap<

"Right, so back up to the top, and drop down into the chart of accounts," the PFY says.

>clickety<

"...and scroll down to the IT, Miscellaneous account code..."

>wind-wind<

"...and now Control-F5 to open up the A.I. config window."

>click<

"Oh, I didn't know about that one," our instructor murmurs.

"Yes," the PFY says, "Now just click on the DISABLE button where it says Mandatory AI matching. And that should do us!"

"..." our instructor huffs.

"Mmm?" the PFY says.

"You seem to know a lot about the new system," our instructor says.

"Oh yes. I downloaded the user manuals, the install manuals and the commissioning and customization manuals. And then I read them."

"So, why did you bother getting training?" he asks.

"Oh, well that's covered in the commissioning manual. A normal user can't see the AUTHORIZE button, but trainers can."

"... So you organized training just so that you could make changes to your financial authority."

"No."

"So, what then?"

"I organized training just so that you could make changes to our financial authority," the PFY says.

"Still," I say, "on the plus side, at least you're not in prison. Now remember to bill us for your time - and use the 'IT Miscellaneous' account code. Feel free to add a little something for yourself..."

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[6] https://www.theregister.com/2026/01/16/bofh_2026_episode_1/

[7] https://www.theregister.com/2026/02/27/bofh_2026_episode_4/

[8] https://www.theregister.com/2025/12/19/bofh_2025_episode_24/

[9] https://www.theregister.com/2025/10/10/bofh_2025_episode_19/

[10] https://www.theregister.com/data_centre/bofh/

[11] http://www.bofharchive.com/

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