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  ARM Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life (Terry Pratchett, Jingo)

Windows pays tribute to Britain's creaking rail network with a BSOD

(2026/03/13)


Bork!Bork!Bork! Today we visit the south of England, where Windows has fallen over, briefly granting unrestricted rail travel to one and all.

If there's one thing the British like to complain about (other than the weather and potholes), it's the rail system. Despite multiple innovations over the years, and the closure of an awful lot of it in the 1960s, much of the network dates back a century or more.

While there is little that can be done about the tracks without hefty investment, some stations have undergone occasional facelifts and been equipped with modern technology to ease passenger journeys and ensure that tickets are checked without requiring a human to examine every piece of paper or card.

[1]

Take these gates at Polegate station. They are equipped with a barcode reader, a place to tap a card, and even a slot for inserting a ticket. However, it all appears to have come to naught, and the gates opened wide. Windows is slumped in the corner like someone on the last train home after a night out that involved drinking too much booze.

[2]

Windows recovery screen at Polegate station

Or it might be an overflow error in the operating system after the latest ticket price rises were fed into it.

[3]Gatwick shuttle screen suffers pre-flight nerves

[4]Hotel's rotary switchboard so retro it predates the concept of crashing

[5]Healthcare security: Write login details on whiteboard, hope for the best

[6]Windows 11 Start menu makes unscheduled stop in Saint Moritz

One thing is certain, Windows is in Recovery at Polegate. It's not clear exactly what has happened to the operating system, but when our eagle-eyed reader snapped the baleful blue screen, the ticket barriers were open, ticket inspection was not a thing, and passengers were heading through.

The open barriers is very unlikely to be directly connected to the borked operating system. A lack of station staff can be a factor, as can the volume of passengers – for all their techno-wizardry, automatic barriers can hinder the flow of customers at busy times.

[7]

However, given the ongoing challenges passengers face on Britain's railways, it's good to see Microsoft Windows showing off its localization chops… by collapsing into a heap, in a fashion all too familiar to anyone expecting a punctual and reliable rail service. ®

Get our [8]Tech Resources



[1] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/front&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=2&c=2abRCtMxmqC_2LNqTBpz_YAAAAEc&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D2%26raptor%3Dcondor%26pos%3Dtop%26test%3D0

[2] https://regmedia.co.uk/2026/03/11/bork_2.jpg

[3] https://www.theregister.com/2026/02/25/airport_bork/

[4] https://www.theregister.com/2026/02/23/bork_goes_retro_with_a/

[5] https://www.theregister.com/2026/02/19/human_whiteboard_bork/

[6] https://www.theregister.com/2026/02/18/st_moritz_bork/

[7] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/front&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=4&c=44abRCtMxmqC_2LNqTBpz_YAAAAEc&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D4%26raptor%3Dfalcon%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0

[8] https://whitepapers.theregister.com/



Korev

Null points error?

Sussex problems...

Korev

If only it was a Linux box as they could use the Eastbourne shell to log on

"The open barriers is very unlikely to be directly connected to the borked operating system."

blu3b3rry

Those panels control the gates, so I'd think it's fairly likely the two are connected.

Re: "The open barriers is very unlikely to be directly connected to the borked operating system."

Steve Davies 3

If there are no staff on duty at the station, for example late at night, the barriers will often be left open. While this does not deter the fare dodgers, it allows people with buggies or in wheelchairs to use the station.

My local station does this. The next one down the line has a separate late night exit with no barriers.

Re: "The open barriers is very unlikely to be directly connected to the borked operating system."

Ol'Peculier

Most times I arrive at King's X on the ECML the gates are open. Too many people leaving the station at the same time.

Anonymous Coward

It varies between stations. Some (e.g. Leeds) are absolutely millitant with the barriers and I don't think I've ever seen them left open, even late at night on a weekday in winter. At others they are often left open after the evening rush hour (used to be the norm at Newcastle - don't know whether it still is).

Ol'Peculier

They wanted to put in barriers at York, but in a suprise turn, the city council refused, saying it would harm the look of theh station.

There are also multiple ways in, so it would have been expensive to implement anyway.

Anonymous Coward

Similar with Sheffield - the main footbridge there is used as a walking route and the city council had contributed to its rebuild when the station was refurbished, and they subsequently resisted the installation of barriers.

Anonymous Coward

Seems like an ideal case for Linuxification

ravenviz

At least now with all the technology they can tell you why a delay is not their fault while it’s happening instead of afterwards.

"Arthur yawed wildly as his skin tried to jump one way and
his skeleton the other, whilst his brain tried to work out
which of his ears it most wanted to crawl out of.
`Bet you weren't expecting to see me again,' said the
monster, which Arthur couldn't help thinking was a strange
remark for it to make, seeing as he had never met the
creature before. He could tell that he hadn't met the
creature before from the simple fact that he was able to
sleep at nights."

- Arthur discovering who had diverted him from going to a
party.