Bork!Bork!Bork! Smart mirrors are all the rage. However, rather than a list of headlines and tasks to do today, an unhappy Windows installation can make a smart mirror seem very dumb indeed.

This example, snapped by an eagle-eyed Register reader in a UK hotel elevator would normally be filled with enticing offers - perhaps promoting an overpriced, a vaguely disappointing breakfast, or an evening meal freshly served from a microwave oven behind the hotel bar.

But, in this case, it has an indication that all is not well in the world of Windows.

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Going up or gone down? - click to enlarge

[2]Bork ventures to the Middle of Lidl

[3]Welcome to Wendy's! Before your order can be taken, you must first reset this kiosk

[4]Gatwick shuttle screen suffers pre-flight nerves

[5]Hotel's rotary switchboard so retro it predates the concept of crashing

It's difficult to know exactly what has caused the issue here. The Windows Boot Manager has blamed a recent hardware or software change, which, frankly, could be pretty much anything. The code 0xc0000428 is a clue that something might be awry with the digital signature of a file (perhaps ntoskrnl.exe ) and, to be honest, we'd suggest nuking the whole thing from orbit. That's the only way to be sure when dealing with errant Windows installations.

It is also not really the sort of thing a customer wants to see when entering an elevator. While we don't doubt the majority of Reg readers would know an infomercial screen is highly unlikely to have anything to do with the operation of an elevator, there'll always be somebody who'd rather take the stairs when presented with Windows doing what Windows does best.

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After all, the word "Crash" and standing in a metal box designed to whiz customers between floors, do not make the greatest of bedfellows.

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And then there is the counting of floors. Microsoft famously skipped the number 9 in its Windows numbering scheme. In fact, considering that the order goes 1, 2, 3, 95, 98, 7, 8, 10, and 11 (not to mention stops at 2000, 2003, and that weird time when the company started using letters and words instead of numbers) we're not sure we'd trust a Windows-powered elevator to get us to where we need to be.

Certainly not without waves of nausea arising from ups and downs, or from finding yet more AI tools inserted where they really don't belong. ®

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[1] https://regmedia.co.uk/2026/03/09/bork_shade.png

[2] https://www.theregister.com/2026/01/29/bork_ventures_to_the_middle/

[3] https://www.theregister.com/2026/01/01/bork_wendys_kiosk/

[4] https://www.theregister.com/2026/02/25/airport_bork/

[5] https://www.theregister.com/2026/02/23/bork_goes_retro_with_a/

[6] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/front&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=2&c=2abLxOkXXQ4RM3qvOqvytXAAAAYY&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D2%26raptor%3Dcondor%26pos%3Dtop%26test%3D0

[7] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/front&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=4&c=44abLxOkXXQ4RM3qvOqvytXAAAAYY&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D4%26raptor%3Dfalcon%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0

[8] https://whitepapers.theregister.com/