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I can fix this PC, boss, but I’ll need to play games for hours to do it

(2024/05/03)


On Call The working week is no game, which is why The Register eases readers into the weekend with a fresh instalment of On Call – our weekly reader-contribute tales recalling the lighter side of tech support.

This week, meet a reader we'll Regomize as "Dan" who told us of his first gig in tech: working in the repair department of a computer shop as he slogged his way through college.

"Much of the work was humdrum," he told On Call – stuff like replacing hard drives, installing new software, or telling the customer that her mouse did not have a "dust cover" – it was packaged in a plastic bag.

[1]

"Once in a while a peach of a job came up," Dan wrote. And the peach in this story was a customer whose PC would crash only when running the game Wing Commander III.

[2]

[3]

"Nothing else was crashing, there was no other way to replicate the issue but to play the game," Dan told On Call.

After a little fun he learned that the game didn't just crash randomly – it only fell over during combat missions. And those only became available after a fair bit of gameplay.

[4]

"Whoever was going to test it had to be at least reasonably good at that type of game," Dan mused.

And, as luck would have it, he was happy to spend the time becoming an ace.

"I was an impoverished university student, with a car that kept breaking down and a maxed-out credit card. I didn't have the money to buy an expensive game like that. Heck, I was barely eating, so it was serendipity that testing it fell to me."

[5]

The repair job was not, however, all fun and games.

Indeed, Dan rated it "one of the thorniest issues I had to tackle as a PC tech."

Swapping out hardware didn't help. Replicating the hard drive and installing it onto an identical PC didn't stop the crashes.

"My boss and I eventually came to the conclusion it was caused by a clash in extended memory, and started to look at EMM386" – which, for those of you who don't remember, was the memory manager that shipped with MS-DOS. This PC also ran HIMEM, a driver that allowed use of extended memory. Both were needed to cajole PCs of the time into using all available memory.

And both were a little … inelegant.

"Sometimes EMM386 used memory registers which were already taken, and black screens of death duly appeared," Dan told On Call. The developers of EMM386 had written an exception mechanism – but you had to know which register to make exempt.

And the only way to find those registers was – you guessed it – to play more Wing Commander III.

"My boss and I agreed on the most likely ranges, and I got to work. Play the game until it crashed, reboot, edit config.sys to change the exception range, save and reboot, play the game until it crashed, repeat."

Sometimes Dan would crash ten seconds into a mission, on other occasions he'd play for five minutes before things went south.

After each crash, he'd tweak those exception settings and play on.

[6]Help! My mouse climbed a wall and now it doesn't work right

[7]Your trainee just took down our business and has no idea how or why

[8]Support contract required techie to lounge around in a $5,000/night hotel room

[9]Techie saved the day and was then criticized for the fix

Over time, the PC's performance improved. Dan was soon playing for ten minutes without error … then crashed after fifteen.

"My boss reckoned it was two blocks that were clashing, and I'd found one, so I should repeat the process with a second exception range until the problem disappeared."

"I ground away at it most of the day, progressing through the game despite the crashes and having the most fun I'd had in ages when the boss put his hand on my shoulder and told me I'd been playing an hour straight without a crash."

Dammit. That meant it was time to tell the customer the problem was solved and prep the machine for pickup.

As Dan prepared to do as he was told, his boss mentioned that he needed to stay back for a couple of hours. If Dan wanted to play a little more Wing Commander III, the store would be open.

"Although my boss denied it, I think he did it so I could stay late and finish the game on my own time," Dan told On Call, rating that boss "the best I ever had."

Have you had to play games as part of your tech support duties? And have you had a boss who showed you some solidarity amid the grind? Stories, people. We want your stories that answer these questions. And the way to share them is to [10]click here to send On Call an email so we can consider your tale for a future Friday. ®

Get our [11]Tech Resources



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[6] https://www.theregister.com/2024/04/26/on_call/

[7] https://www.theregister.com/2024/04/19/on_call/

[8] https://www.theregister.com/2024/04/12/on_call/

[9] https://www.theregister.com/2024/04/05/on_call/

[10] mailto:oncall@theregister.com

[11] https://whitepapers.theregister.com/



"My computer has EMS"

Jou (Mxyzptlk)

"can you help please?"

Those who remember know how true that is.

Ah, Bosses with heart

Kevin Johnston

While I have had a few in my long working life one stands out. My role was a customer support engineer but I only earned the company money when on-site with a customer so one glorious sunny Friday lunchtime in early summer I was bimbling about in the office doing make-work and he wandered over and commented that a day like this was best spent wandering on the beach. Taking the hint I suggested I should check over my kit so I could be ready for a short-notice call and left. A month or so later I got a call from him on a Saturday morning asking me to fly out to a customer site for three weeks, the flight was the following day but I just said yes and got packed to go. He always treated us with respect and he got respect in return, amazing how that works

Re: Ah, Bosses with heart

Anonymous Coward

My bosses have generally been quite good, but the one that showed support above and beyond was actually the boss at a company that I was sub-contracted out to.

We'd been working crazy hours. and were all generally stressed out, dog tired and fed up. One afternoon the boss (a very softly spoken Irishman) said, "ah, lads...you're all looking awfully stressed by all of this. Do you want me to sort out a visit to a local massage parlour for the lot of you? Great bunch of girls there - do you the world of good. I'm happy to let the company pick up the bill"

I think we all politely declined

Games

GlenP

I can remember when the best test of genuine IBM PC Compatibility was MS Flight Simulator!

Sadly we were an Apricot dealer so I never persuaded the boss that we needed a copy.

Re: Games

b0llchit

Apricot... Couldn't those be used as simulated airborne projectiles?

Re: Games

molletts

They were the pits.

Evil Auditor

I didn't have the money to buy an expensive game like that

Around the time Wing Commander 3 was a thing, I didn't know the concept of buying a game.

Anonymous Coward

What is this buy? There is only play or not play.

I know for a fact ...

Michael H.F. Wilkinson

some of our students want to become software testers, without realizing this does not necessarily mean playing games until they crash. They look so disappointed when we teach them software testing is usually a lot less fun.

Still, it's a good job when playing games IS part of the job.

Re: playing games until they crash.

Paul Kinsler

Do you mean the games crashing, or the players? :-)

Re: I know for a fact ...

John Riddoch

From what I've heard, playtesting games involves doing every single weird thing you wouldn't expect players to do, so you'd spend hours running round a single level walking along the walls, jumping at odd places and generally trying to test the bounds of the play area to destruction. Very little of it involves actual "playing".

As for generic software testing, it's the whole "software tester walks into a bar and orders 1 beer, 5 beers, -1 beers, fjioewjiofewj beers, 1.2389028190 beers, etc"

Re: I know for a fact ...

Spazturtle

"As for generic software testing, it's the whole "software tester walks into a bar and orders 1 beer, 5 beers, -1 beers, fjioewjiofewj beers, 1.2389028190 beers, etc""

I believe the next line of the joke is "and then a player walks into the bar and orders 2 beers and the bar burns down"

Trying to force edge cases is helpful but doesn't always work, sometimes you just need to play test the same part of the game 100+ times to see if you find any bugs.

Best job straight out of University?

Caver_Dave

In the days before PC's became widespread, I was writing software for a Set top box, Internet access device.

We needed to produce a net-nanny filtering system.

A lot of intelligence went into designing what we thought could isolate most of the crud that was on the Internet at the time, but we needed to test this.

My boss employed a lad straight out of University to try to access Pron sites all day long. The thinking being that he would have a wide knowledge of suitable test sites!

He only lasted 3 months before he left to go abroad to be with someone he had met via one of the sites, and we declared the filters good enough.

During the next few months a little telemetry (only settings and not sites) told us that nearly 90% of people turned off the net nanny!

Icon as the lad always had one on his face.

Re: Best job straight out of University?

Unoriginal Handle

I worked for a (then) major web proxy manufacturer in the early 2000s. We had to get configs from customer appliances, and logs, and the contents were eye opening. Who in their right mind would actively search for some of that stuff!

And we had to have unfiltered internet access too - "boss, I'm looking at playboy.com because the customer says the adult URL category isn't being filtered properly ..."

Re: Best job straight out of University?

Noel Morgan

I always use www.playboy.com to test that webfiltering is working.

It should be blocked and has less naked flesh than the sidebar on the daily mail homepage.

Re: Best job straight out of University?

Anonymous Coward

I'm shocked you're familiar with the contents of the daily heil's home page.

Re: Best job straight out of University?

KittenHuffer

I remember in the early days of web development the bleeding edge of web functionality was always the Pron sites. So web developers were givien permission to surf those sites at work to learn about the latest developments and flashiest new things.

Re: Best job straight out of University?

Korev

I used to vaguely know a guy who was a graphic designer who couldn't get a job after art school. He ended up doing graphic design for porn mags, apparently the novelty soon wore off.

Dirty old mac icon -->

Antony Shepherd

Crafting config.sys files to make different things work was a real skill. DR-DOS made that a lot simpler by allowing you to set up a boot menu for all the different settings you need for different games and Windows.

Wing Commander 3 was the one with the video clips featuring Mark Hamill and Malcolm McDowell slumming it, right?

Loved that game.

Duffaboy

Never crashed on me

Q: Why do ducks have big flat feet?
A: To stamp out forest fires.

Q: Why do elephants have big flat feet?
A: To stamp out flaming ducks.