Tesla Cybertruck turns into world's most expensive brick after car wash
- Reference: 1713612485
- News link: https://www.theregister.co.uk/2024/04/20/cybertruck_car_wash_mode/
- Source link:
Now, we tech-savvy people are well aware that computers and water do not mix. But cars get dirty, and when you've tossed your life savings into a Cybertruck, you'd probably want to keep it looking immaculate.
At the same time, we'd hesitate to hose off our motherboard even if the cat hair level was approaching critical mass. But when your car is a computer, what are your options?
[1]
As noted by motoring zine [2]Jalopnik , a TikTok user going by [3]@captian.ad regaled his followers with a [4]tale of how he took his Cybertruck to the beach with his dogs.
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What sounds like a lovely day out soon turned to sorrow, however, as on the way back he stopped off at a car wash to rid his luxury whip of sand. For most drivers, this sounds like a perfectly reasonable course of action.
He then parked up in his garage where the silver monstrosity seemed to breathe its last. The screen in the central console, which is absolutely essential to operating the Cybertruck because it hosts critical information like speed and rear view, went black as pitch and wouldn't respond.
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Our hero, probably feeling the same sort of panic one experiences when a computer dies mid-use, followed the Tesla guidelines for a reboot only to be met by a disconcerting and electrical "pop." Following this reset, he said that the Tesla "T" is supposed to come up on the screen and all should be well. That did not happen.
Everything else, including the rear seat screens, appeared to function fine. It's only that driving the Cybertruck without that console would be terribly unsafe. The owner lamented that he's "two and a half months in and 3,400 miles" (5,471 km).
There is a happier ending, however, as [8]another video explains that he opened a service ticket with Tesla. The following morning, he went to collect some possessions from the truck and found that the beast had been roused from its death-like stupor.
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He also received a call from Tesla to check on him. The advisor said that "it is a known issue in the Cybertruck that when you do a screen reset, instead of resetting in the standard two minutes, it takes five hours."
So when he had initiated that hard reset before, it had taken half the night to go through. That's another issue with computers that, once upon a time, didn't trouble cars – software bugs. The fault was registered as a complaint and "hopefully it gets addressed in a future software patch," the owner said.
[10]Tesla decimates staff amid ongoing performance woe
[11]Tesla's Cybertruck may not be so stainless after all
[12]Tesla Cybertruck gets cyberstuck during off-roading expedition
[13]Musk floats idea of boat mod for Cybertruck
"But five hours to reset a computer? And this is new hardware, hardware 4. All I wanna know is, where do I get that computer so I can take it to work? 'Sorry, boss, I'm resetting my computer. I'll get to that in a little bit,'" he joked.
Meanwhile, the story was also picked up on Tesla CEO Elon Musk's other business empire, where an X user [14]plumbed the depths of the Cybertruck owner's manual , which routinely turns up comedy gold.
In this instance, [15]attention was drawn to a line saying: "CAUTION Failure to put Cybertruck in Car Wash Mode may result in damage (for example, to the charge port or windshield wipers). Damage caused by car washes is not covered by the warranty."
The fact that the Cybertruck even has such a mode is, frankly, ludicrous. There was also the perplexing warning: "Do not wash in direct sunlight." Answers on a postcard, please. It is not clear whether the owner heeded either of these instructions.
It puts us in mind of Cybertruck owners reporting [16]rust forming on the car's exterior . Despite the commonly held belief that the stainless steel body would be immune to corrosion, Tesla's documentation once again served only to highlight the Cybertruck's weaknesses, such as the lack of a clear coat.
"To prevent damage to the exterior, immediately remove corrosive substances (such as grease, oil, bird droppings, tree resin, dead insects, tar spots, road salt, industrial fallout, etc.)," it says. "Do not wait until Cybertruck is due for a complete wash. If necessary use denatured alcohol to remove tar spots and stubborn grease stains, then immediately wash the area with water and a mild, non-detergent soap to remove the alcohol."
There's also the owner who took his Cybertruck off-roading, [17]and broke it , leaving many wondering what Tesla's latest and greatest can actually do.
Musk once touted the Cybertruck as "literally bulletproof" but whether it's even waterproof seems open to some debate.
The billionaire and his controversially shaped truck aren't having the best of time lately. Yesterday's the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration issued recall of the Cybertruck due to fault accelerator pedals, a problem that [18]first emerged earlier in the week . ®
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[1] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_onprem/personaltech&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=2&c=2ZiPmm2NYAFNNiIQjz-H3MgAAABE&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D2%26raptor%3Dcondor%26pos%3Dtop%26test%3D0
[2] https://jalopnik.com/tesla-cybertruck-no-match-for-car-wash-1851417011
[3] https://www.tiktok.com/@captian.ad
[4] https://www.tiktok.com/@captian.ad/video/7357905192454606123
[5] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_onprem/personaltech&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=4&c=44ZiPmm2NYAFNNiIQjz-H3MgAAABE&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D4%26raptor%3Dfalcon%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0
[6] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_onprem/personaltech&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=3&c=33ZiPmm2NYAFNNiIQjz-H3MgAAABE&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D3%26raptor%3Deagle%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0
[7] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_onprem/personaltech&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=4&c=44ZiPmm2NYAFNNiIQjz-H3MgAAABE&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D4%26raptor%3Dfalcon%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0
[8] https://www.tiktok.com/@captian.ad/video/7358236474321505578
[9] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_onprem/personaltech&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=3&c=33ZiPmm2NYAFNNiIQjz-H3MgAAABE&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D3%26raptor%3Deagle%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0
[10] https://www.theregister.com/2024/04/15/tesla_lays_off_10_percent/
[11] https://www.theregister.com/2024/02/13/tesla_cybertruck_rust/
[12] https://www.theregister.com/2024/01/24/tesla_cybertruck_offroading_video/
[13] https://www.theregister.com/2023/12/19/musk_says_boat_mod_package/
[14] https://twitter.com/StonkKing4/status/1780303955811278884
[15] https://twitter.com/StonkKing4/status/1780303955811278884/photo/2
[16] https://www.theregister.com/2024/02/13/tesla_cybertruck_rust/
[17] https://www.theregister.com/2024/01/24/tesla_cybertruck_offroading_video/
[18] https://www.theregister.com/2024/04/15/tesla_lays_off_10_percent/
[19] https://whitepapers.theregister.com/
So much for the resilience of Stainless Steel
If washing your Muskmobile in direct sunlight voids the warranty? What happens when the sun is shining on the other side of the road and your side is in the middle of a downpour?
These things are not what the Tesla Cult members hoped and prayed that they would be.
No wonder the Norwegians think that the viable life of a Model Y anywhere outside Oslo is 2 years.
But the cult will still worship evey cent of that $65M salary he's trying to get. I wonder how much tax he'll pay on that. 0% Texas income tax, that is for sure but I recon around $750.00 of federal taxes. After all, that is what his dear leader (Trump) paid for years (when it wasn't zero).
Perhaps he should wait until after 5th November and 'the Donald' becomes POTUS elect? Trump wants to cut taxes for the 0.001% (Musk and friends) and decimate Social Security. Then he could walk away with every penny of that $65M.
The USA is FSCK'd if Trumpo gets re-elected. 10% tax on everything coming across the border (if you can find one that is open...) The likes of Lord Elon of Muskrat won't mind but for the ordinary citizen it will be a disaster.
Thankfully, I have a boat and can leave. Cuba looks mightily inviting and it is only 90 miles away.
Re: So much for the resilience of Stainless Steel
It's not 56m, but 56bn the muskyone is seeking - https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2024/apr/17/elon-musk-tesla-pay
Re: So much for the resilience of Stainless Steel
How much would that work out per car sold? Would they even make a profit?
Tesla pipped to this particular post
Mercedes came up with it [1]in 2019 or so . A quick search suggests that pricey Rivian and BMW models have it too.
[1] https://www.thomasnet.com/insights/mercedes-invented-car-wash-mode-and-you-re-going-to-want-it
Not a unique issue
My car (2010 vintage) also has a car wash mode - it's called "Tuck in the wing mirrors and flatten the roof-mounted antenna".
Sheesh, that Tesla boot time is slower than my homebrew 4MHz Z80 machine starting CP/M from an Hitachi 4GB Microdrive.
Too much tech will get you every time.
It's not 56m, but 56bn the muskyone is seeking - https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2024/apr/17/elon-musk-tesla-pay
Car wash mode
Allegedly the "car wash mode" is "turn off the windscreen wipers, wind up the windows, don't fold the mirrors, lock the charging cover flap that otherwise opens if something touches it".
If you're going to put all the controls on touchscreen menus (hint - you shouldn't), then having a "mode" that does all of them at once isn't as ridiculous as it first sounds.
If it can't handle Edinburgh rain it's not surprising it can't handle a car wash, but the mode won't help with that.
https://www.edinburghlive.co.uk/news/edinburgh-news/edinburgh-couple-fume-handed-17k-27906242.amp
Nowhere close to the promises Musk was making about it, of course.
"Cybertruck will be waterproof enough to serve briefly as a boat, so it can cross rivers, lakes & even seas that aren’t too choppy"
https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1575508498430820352?lang=en
"We are going to offer a mod package that enables Cybertruck to traverse at least 100m of water as a boat.
Mostly just need to upgrade cabin door seals."
https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1736943517115482218?lang=en
Re: Car wash mode
The Cybertruck is as much of a boat as his nan's soiled underoos. That is to say, not at all, and very musty.
Sent mine in for drycleaning with the underoos.
Re: Car wash mode
Fair's fair, at no time did Musk say that the Cybertruck would work as a powered boat.
The "mod package" is clearly just rowlocks[1][2]
[1] "Bring your own oars"
[2] for the unnautical, the 'w' is pronounced more like a second 'l'; think "how would Scooby Doo say it?"
Re: Car wash mode
Powered boat you say? Porsche are [1]already there
[1] https://www.instagram.com/reel/C51LP3fC46E/
Elsenet someone pointed out that the Cybertruck has yet to match the sales numbers of the Sinclair C5.
it is a known issue that instead of resetting in the standard two minutes, it takes five hours
Buy a Tesla, become an unpaid Testa.
Anything by Musk is comedy gold. His solar company has gone to shite. Twitter has gone to shite. My night time viewing has gone to shite due to his shiny happy wagon train Starlink satellites in LEO. His belly flopping (no seriously that’s how it proposes to land on Mars) spacecraft keeps going boom ( sorry…unscheduled dissambly). Tesla is going to shite. And now his idiotic and manifestly fugly Cyberteuck which is utterly a truck version ripoff of the 1980’s stainless steel DeLorian made iconic in the “Back To The Future” movie franchise. And even before this “Car Wash Mode” hilarity go to YouTube and check out how a baseball defeated the bullet proof glass at Cybertruck’s rollout with Musk standing right there. Comedy gold ! Finally…..you know it’s shite when you put the word “Cyber” on it. What is this? 1980s William Gibson “Neuromancer”?
'you know it’s shite when you put the word “Cyber” on it'
Cybermen: deadly, humanoid, controlled by an inhibitor on their emotions (fear, love)
Teslamen: deadly humourless, controlled by an inhibitor that controls their emotions (shame, embarrassment, style, common sense)
Farcical
"To prevent damage to the exterior, immediately remove corrosive substances (such as grease, oil, bird droppings, tree resin, dead insects, tar spots, road salt, industrial fallout, etc.),"
So, basically, you should wash it every single time you use it? After you’ve enabled “car wash” mode, naturally.
Re: Farcical
Would I have to put it in Car Wash Mode if I decided just to piss on it ?
Industrial fallout
>"To prevent damage to the exterior, immediately remove corrosive substances (such as grease, oil, bird droppings, tree resin, dead insects, tar spots, road salt, industrial fallout ...."
Or simply keep your Cybertruck away from barbecues, mechanics, nature, coastal areas, SpaceX launches ...
So I guess these things are built for any terrain on any planet, unless that planet happens to have precipitation.
Free trip to Mars for every Cybertruck owner!
(The rest of us will all help you pack for the journey)
Wash? WASH?
Don't you know these things are only meant as collector's items? There are fewer than 4,000 in existence!
You shouldn't wash them - heck, you shouldn't even peel off the plastics from the windscreen. Collector's items should *always* be kept mint in box[1]
[1] and put it between two bits of cardboard, to stop it getting bent.