We put salt in our tea so you don't have to
- Reference: 1706347813
- News link: https://www.theregister.co.uk/2024/01/27/salt_in_tea/
- Source link:
But that is exactly what American chemistry professor Michelle Francl has done with her new book, Steeped: The Chemistry of Tea, which was published this week through the Royal Society of Chemistry.
Therein, Francl proposes that a tiny bit of salt – not enough to taste – improves tea because "the sodium ions in salt block the bitter receptors in our mouths."
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This quite literally brewed a storm in a teacup because the madcap Brits cannot fathom why anyone would actually do this. Tea isn't really bitter anyhow, not in the way coffee is, and if you don't like how tea tastes, no one's forcing you to drink it. This at least coming from someone who drinks less than one cup of tea a week.
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Naturally, the scandal has its own #TeaGate hashtag on Twitter or X or hellscape, whatever you want to call it, with observers noting that Americans mixing tea with salt water can have drastic effects.
In 1773, American colonists threw 342 chests of tea into Boston Harbor to protest against high taxes on the product and the perceived monopoly of the East India Company. It was one of the events that led to the American Revolutionary War against Britain.
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The supposed furor over salty tea (saltea?) moved the United States Embassy in London to issue a statement:
Today's media reports of an American Professor's recipe for the "perfect" cup of tea has landed our special bond with the United Kingdom in hot water.
Tea is the elixir of camaraderie, a sacred bond that unites our nations. We cannot stand idly by as such an outrageous proposal threatens the very foundation of our Special Relationship.
Therefore we want to ensure the good people of the UK that the unthinkable notion of adding salt to Britain's national drink is not official United States policy. And never will be.
Let us unite in our steeped solidarity and show the world that when it comes to tea, we stand as one.
The U.S. Embassy will continue to make tea in the proper way – by microwaving it.
Yes, it's all a bit silly, isn't it? The closing line being a jab at the last time the two nations nearly came to blows over how to make the beverage.
[5]Youtube Video
How can one woman be so, so wrong?
Anyway, in the spirit of hard-hitting investigative journalism, The Register decided to scrutinize the claims. Francl is, after all, a scientist. Her book is reputed to be the result of three years of research exploring the more than 100 chemical compounds that are found in the drink. The work "puts the chemistry to use with advice on how to brew a better cup," according to her publisher.
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So it would be remiss of us not to test her theories. We brewed two cups of tea, one with a pinch of salt, one without. Note that we did this the correct way:
Teabag in mug
Add boiled water from a kettle, not a microwave, a kettle
Immediately add milk. This counteracts the bitterness of the tannins and also stops that weird floaty brown stuff from forming on the surface
Leave teabag in for ... pfft ... I dunno, it depends how desperate you are for a cuppa. Let's say a minute, two tops
No sugar
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In the kitchen lab
It isn't clear from reports as to what stage the salt should be added so we put it in last, just a pinch, as you would with sugar (if you're a baby).
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Perfection
The first experiment did not go well. Alternating swigs from each cuppa to compare and contrast the body and flavor, I immediately noticed that one of these teas tasted salty. So a pinch is too much, you're not supposed to be able to taste it, and I didn't like it. Down the sink it went, and my partner is now three bags down instead of two.
[9]Macmillan best-biscuit list unexpectedly promotes breakfast cereal to treat status
[10]Home office setup with built-in boiling water tap for tea and coffee without getting up is a monument to deskcess
[11]Time for another cuppa then? Tea-drinkers have better brains, say boffins with even better brains
[12]Captain's coffee calamity causes transatlantic flight diversion
[13]It's a mug's game: Watch AI robot grab a cuppa it hasn't seen before
Back in the lab, while my actual cuppa was getting cold, I scrubbed the mug of all contaminants, coated a finger tip in a thin layer of sodium chloride, then dipped it in the tea. There can't have been more than 100 grains going in.
Take two. Having burned my mouth on the freshly made saltea, I waited a few minutes then took another run. It was slightly more appetizing, but with each sip of the saltea I couldn't help but feel that something was missing, something inherent to what makes tea tea. And compared to my regular cup, there was a sense of a sharpness that simply should not be there.
Normal tea now drained, I slowly nursed the saltea, hating myself slightly more with each gulp, wondering why I took on this assignment when I'm a coffee drinker, and suppressing the growing urge to urinate. I drank it all and bitterly regret it.
We advise you not to try this at home. It won't kill you, but it certainly won't do you any good either. I had secretly hoped for this to be some sort of revelation in tea drinking, but it just isn't.
Vote in our poll on the perfect tea and don't forget to provide detailed explanations in the comments as to why my method is completely wrong. ®
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[9] https://www.theregister.com/2021/09/21/macmillan_biscuit_list_furore/
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[11] https://www.theregister.com/2019/09/14/teadrinkers_have_better_brains_say_boffins_with_even_better_brains/
[12] https://www.theregister.com/2019/09/13/condor_a330_coffee_radio/
[13] https://www.theregister.com/2018/09/11/robot_ai_picking_up_objects/
[14] https://whitepapers.theregister.com/
Ramble, blither
Salt? Apparently our esteemed researcher discovered the recipe in an ancient Chinese manuscript. So it's probably true for Chinese tea, which to my palate tastes bitter - unlike the Kenyan tea, of Indian descent, that ends up in our teabags. I prefer my China tea with a slice of lemon and no milk - or salt! Sugar according to the weather.
But then, someone has to be first to recall Arthur Dent's rant at the Sirius Cybernetics AI drinks dispenser on the Heart of Gold spaceship.
I am actually more accustomed to NATO Standard (1. Milk, 2. two sugars, 3. Strong, India-style cheap tea from a very large pot), which is just what you need when you come in out of the storm and tramp across the Portakabin (if you're lucky) in your muddy Doc Martens.
Tibetans traditionally prefer China style tea but with all the twiggy bits left in, to which they add a dob of butter. Most butter in Tibet is rancid (They use it for sculpture in the winter) and His Holiness the current Dalai Lama has said that the quality of the tea depends very much on the quality of the butter.
The best tea I ever drank was a loose-leaf tea, probably from Ceylon, brewed in an ancient aluminium teapot (silver is so gauche, dear boy) encrusted with the brown residues of a thousand such brews.
Salted caramel choccie anybody? Yecch!
Re: Ramble, blither
> Most butter in Tibet is rancid
According to my in-depth studies of an old Journal Of Record[1], the supply of Tibetan rancid yak butter has been endangered by the import of modern detergents, as the yaks are no longer rancid.
[1] The Beano
Re: Ramble, blither
The best tea I ever drank was a loose-leaf tea, probably from Ceylon...
served in a fine bone china cup.
That does make a difference to the taste, especially when taken without milk.
Also, unlike wine, which improves with age, tea does not, so, keep a tab on how old it is
America...
Let's just not tell them about "proper" chocolate
Pointless if potless
If you can't be bothered to make tea in a pot then why bother? Warm the pot first of course. Teabags are fine but save us from bags on a string. Gunpowder Tea doesn't contain any gunpowder. As for microwaves... Don't the Colonials have kettles? I wouldn't put it past them to drink the same tea at breakfast and in the afternoon.
Re: Pointless if potless
Teabags in a pot for me, best of both words, and you can have fun telling the "mug jockeys" that you put the milk in the cup first (so as not to scald it) ;)
I did know someone that would sprinkle salt in his tea - he said it made it taste sweeter, but there was lots of bemused looks around the table the first time we saw it happen.
I didn't verify whether that was true as I can't stand Tea.
A missed opportunity to discuss standards
There are well established military standards for tea.
NATO - made in a tea urn. Equivalent of milk and 2 sugars added to the urn and you don't get a choice.
Julie (Andrews) - white nun (white no sugars)
Whoopi (goldberg) - black nun (black no sugar)
Barbarians …
… put milk in their tea, drowning the flavors.
Ah, there’s my coat!
The first thing that came to mind was, of course, the Sirius Cybernetics Company, soon followed by the realisation that you've just taken over Mr. Haines' desk. I do now expect more articles like this one, but preferrably slightly more flippant.
Who on Earth thought it was a good idea to ask an American how to make tea??
Next week, a vegetarian will give us tips on the best way to cook steak.
Then we shall hear from a fish, who will provide the latest advice on bicycle repair.
And finally, a masterclass in diplomacy, from Vlad the Impaler.