HP TV ads claim its printers are 'made to be less hated'
- Reference: 1701959110
- News link: https://www.theregister.co.uk/2023/12/07/hp_made_to_be_less_hated/
- Source link:
If vegging in front of the idiot box is something you do to decompress after an afternoon spent fantasizing about going "Office Space" on your workplace's HP facilities, we suppose you might have caught a rare telly spot commissioned by the PC and printing giant.
Launched in the Nordics, BeneLux, Ireland, and the UK, the ads insist that HP printers are "made to be less hated."
[1]
Which may come as news to HP's long-suffering users who still, for whatever reason, need to brand mushed-up trees with corporate nonsense despite this alleged digital age.
[2]
[3]
The three ads touch upon a spectrum of negative emotions that will be highly relatable to those who have ever tried to print something at home or work – sorrow, anger, despair – and all end with extreme and cathartic human-on-printer violence.
[4]Youtube Video
[5]
"It's not fair," a stressed office worker protests, tears streaking her face. "I did everything you asked for – and now this. No."
She then defenestrates the printer to the supportive cries of a witness outside. "Well done!"
Meanwhile, the accompanying caption claims: "No more installations fails with the HP Smart app."
[6]
Now, wait a minute. Isn't HP Smart that unwanted and uninvited application that has been turning up on Windows 10 and 11 systems of late? [7]Yes, it is!
Not only that, but it's [8]renaming attached printers to "HP LaserJet M101-M106" regardless of whether or not they're HP products. We'll concede that this is very likely to be a Microsoft issue, but all the same it's not a great start if HP's mission is indeed to be "less hated."
[9]Youtube Video
In another masterpiece of dark minimalism, our hero utters just three words, his voice quavering with fury. "I ... hate ... you," he tells the device, which indifferently bleeps a "low ink" warning.
He kicks the printer, which falls off his desk and clatters to the floor. HP then says: "No more low ink with HP ink solutions."
The Register wonders if the hapless worker's hatred would be softened somewhat if he had attended the recent UBS Global Technology conference, where HP chief financial officer Marie Myers gave a speech on how the company's Printing division margin has risen from 14.8 percent in [10]fiscal 2020 to 18.9 percent in [11]fiscal 2023 .
[12]Microsoft confirms Smart App issue renaming everyone's printers to HP
[13]HP exec says quiet part out loud when it comes to locking in print customers
[14]HP printer software turns up uninvited on Windows systems
[15]HP chief throws about AI fairy dust in hopes of reviving slumbering PC giant
"We absolutely see when you move a customer from that pure transactional model ... whether it's Instant Ink, plus adding on that paper, we sort of see a 20 percent uplift on the value of that customer because you're locking that person, committing to a longer-term relationship," she said.
Jeez, Marie, you're not supposed to say out loud that you're "locking" customers into services! Oh well, we're going to go with "no."
[16]Youtube Video
The final spot sees a young gentleman, sweat beading on his brow, trying to improve the Wi-Fi signal to his printer by hoisting the beast above his head. He gets as far as the door outside his office or apartment when the power lead is pulled out.
He then dumps the device in the garbage, though we would have preferred to see him unceremoniously hurl it down the corridor. "No more reconnection hassle with HP's self-healing Wi-Fi," the caption winks.
We can't speak to such woes. This vulture long ago rid himself of printers – which, incidentally, were made by HP – and now lives a euphoric existence in the metaverse. If on the extremely rare occasion that we must print something, the other half has printers at her office. That's what they're there for, right? No need to buy ink that's [17]dearer than Dom Pérignon that way.
According to [18]More About Advertising and [19]Marketing Communication News , the run has been hailed as the "most effective" and "most successful" campaign that HP has ever made.
Which just goes to show that if you are hated, own it. ®
Get our [20]Tech Resources
[1] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/bootnotes&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=2&c=2ZXH6O3qefnAmQfGrrsQm3QAAABY&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D2%26raptor%3Dcondor%26pos%3Dtop%26test%3D0
[2] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/bootnotes&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=4&c=44ZXH6O3qefnAmQfGrrsQm3QAAABY&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D4%26raptor%3Dfalcon%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0
[3] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/bootnotes&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=3&c=33ZXH6O3qefnAmQfGrrsQm3QAAABY&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D3%26raptor%3Deagle%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0
[4] https://vimeo.com/891466251
[5] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/bootnotes&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=4&c=44ZXH6O3qefnAmQfGrrsQm3QAAABY&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D4%26raptor%3Dfalcon%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0
[6] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/bootnotes&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=3&c=33ZXH6O3qefnAmQfGrrsQm3QAAABY&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D3%26raptor%3Deagle%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0
[7] https://www.theregister.com/2023/11/30/windows_hp_software_uninvited/
[8] https://www.theregister.com/2023/12/05/hp_smartapp_microsoft_issue/
[9] https://vimeo.com/891468065
[10] https://investor.hp.com/news/press-release-details/2020/HP-Inc.-Reports-Fiscal-2020-Full-Year-and-Fourth-Quarter-Results/default.aspx
[11] https://investor.hp.com/news/press-release-details/2023/HP-Inc.-Reports-Fiscal-2023-Full-Year-and-Fourth-Quarter-Results/
[12] https://www.theregister.com/2023/12/05/hp_smartapp_microsoft_issue/
[13] https://www.theregister.com/2023/12/04/hp_printer_lockin/
[14] https://www.theregister.com/2023/11/30/windows_hp_software_uninvited/
[15] https://www.theregister.com/2023/11/22/ai_pcs_to_double_growth_hp/
[16] https://vimeo.com/891470023
[17] https://www.theregister.com/2003/07/04/printer_ink_seven_times_more/
[18] https://www.moreaboutadvertising.com/2023/12/made-to-be-less-hated-pays-off-for-hp-printers/
[19] https://marcommnews.com/you-wont-love-your-printer-but-you-can-hate-it-less-hp-turns-printer-hate-into-print-solutions/
[20] https://whitepapers.theregister.com/
Re: HP Support
Ah, kids these days . . .
Missed the target
As usual, HP has missed that the real reason people hate their printers is the forced use of proprietary over priced ink cartridges that the printer won't recognize after being refilled.
Re: Missed the target
That's the leading reason, well ahead of the pack where network connection issues, jammed paper, an intolerance to cat hair, unnecessary Windows software and dried print heads are competing for second place.
Re: Missed the target
Not to mention the godawful and privacy-invasive HP Cloud Print service
No, I do not want my Printer to be on the Internet of Things, thanks! What's the point of printing to a printer on the other side of the country / world? It's a printer for goodness sake, it spits out a physical piece of paper that requires physical presence to pick up..
If you happen to be not near your printer but need to print something for later.. Save the PDF and print over WiFi when you're near enough to pick it up, instead of handing all your private documents to HP!
& HP have got to be the worst printer manufacturer out there when it comes to crapware, planned-obsolescence and refill-prevention DRM chips
Less hated...
More loathed.
Avoid.
You know it's bad when...
It's really bad when you consider they had these in production *before* the unhinged renaming of printers and subsequent glorious push of HP Smrat to the world. They felt so unloved that they tried to make amends to their customers: "I know everyone hates us, so here's a short series of wry commercials and millions of unwelcome infrastructure changes." Mission accomplished, off to the bar!
Re: You know it's bad when...
The first thing my support droid told me to do was open the dredded HP "Smart" app. It doesn't work on my machine, probably because I've got WARP VPN installed. Then I had to reinstall the drivers using the 320MB "EasyStart" wizard, which was anything but easy. Failed while trying to install a Network Driver, even though it's connected by USB.
Neither "Easy" nor "Smart".
H What?
Glancing over at my Brother printer which cost US$150, uses cheap toner, and doesn't have obnoxious drivers...
Oh, HP? I remember them. Sad, sad days.
Re: H What?
Glancing over at my Brother printer which cost US$150, uses cheap toner, and doesn't have obnoxious drivers...
I think if you check your system, you'll find it's an HP now, and you owe them $9,750 for ink.
Re: H What?
Brother printers are a thing of beauty and a joy forever. Which reminds me, mine's run out of cyan.
Re: H What?
We have a Brother MFC-255CW. The last firmware update was issued in 2011.
It's the "Printer That Won't Die". I think it cannot be killed by conventional means.
And... it... just... works...
Which is worse?
HP or Dell?
Asking for a friend. No, that noise you may hear in the background is NOT an enraged mob sharpening axes and machetes and setting out assorted incendiary materials. Nope, nope, nope.
Hated Peripherals, Ink.
My wife used to have an HP printer. With the amount of ink cartridges she got through it would have been cheaper to have taken a taxi to the local print shop! (Only slight exaggeration)
Missed a tagline
This isn't just a hated printer.
This is a hated HP printer.
PC Load Letter
The errors, problems, & the fixes are different now.
However, the anger & frustration transcend generations of IT workers. Strangely uniting the gray hairs with today's PFYs in a common hatred of HP products.
Advertisments and politicians have one thing in common ...
you start with the assumption that what they are saying is designed to pull the wool over your eyes.
CD/Bittorrent -> Spotify (no shruggy icon)
We happily exchanged the freedom of owning (or stealing) our music, with the convenience of streaming.
So it's actually nice to not have to watch your printer spending your money cleaning itself. HP pays for that, and I get to print. And I have a spare cartridge in the drawer ready, that I didn't have to buy.
Yes, The Man is extracting £4 a month from me, but it's less stressful than buying my own ink. And since HP got away with only allowing HP ink in their printers now (retrospectively! the bastards!) they can really do what they want.
Re: CD/Bittorrent -> Spotify (no shruggy icon)
I still buy my music. Hundreds of CDs, loads of albums (haven't counted), loads of singles and over a thousand albums bought at bandcamp ta. On the other hand, no streaming music account. Used to have, but deleted it when I realised I wasn't enjoying it.
Re: CD/Bittorrent -> Spotify (no shruggy icon)
I also buy all my music on CD. But my company printer uses HP Ink. We're only a small business - and we used to get through 3 sets of cartridges a year. Not exactly huge. But that was around £100. I've tried various non-HP cartridges and they were mostly not very good. This way we're paying them about £50 a year - and if a cartridge goes wrong they get to pay for it, not me. Also they got a lot of godwill out of me because they fucked up the special offer when we bought this printer and so I got 21 months of free ink, instead of the 3 they were supposed to give us. Oops.
Also, whisper it, but I've had very little trouble with this printer. And since we moved to the new office, with reliable internet (we used to lose WiFi connection), we've had literally zero problems since I set it up.
The software's still shit mind. How can a printer driver bundle be 1GB anyway?!? But you can't have everything.
Still ain't going to buy an HP printer.
*Laughs in Canon with Ink Tanks*
HP Support
I'm in the middle of a marathon session with HP support (~8hrs total so far) trying to get A5 printing of an image working. Wasted 2hrs because the support droid didn't know what a self-extracting archive was nor what an inf file was for!