FEMA to test emergency alert system US-wide today
- Reference: 1696440431
- News link: https://www.theregister.co.uk/2023/10/04/fema_testing_wireless_emergency_alerts/
- Source link:
Do be surprised, however, if those around you begin transforming into mindless zombies from 5G signals, or start taking orders from microchips in vaccines, or whatever moronic conspiracy theorists on the internet have been making up.
Contrary to the beliefs of those that see the COVID-19 jab as a [1]mind control plot led by Bill Gates and other shadowy figures, [2]today's trial is a typical triennial test. FEMA, in coordination with the Federal Communications Commission, will ping cellphones as well as radios and televisions, with signals from its Integrated Public Alert and Warning System (IPAWS), and not for the first time.
[3]
"This will be the third nationwide test, but the second test to all [wireless emergency alert (WES)]-compatible cellular devices," FEMA said, adding "this will be the seventh nationwide EAS test."
Hawaii missile alert was no UI blunder. Someone really thought the islands were toast [4]FROM ARCHIVE
Anyone who's received an Amber Alert is familiar with how the WES system works - loud, repetitive tones followed by an on-screen alert with details of the suspected kidnapped individual and information helpful in spotting them. This test will be similar, except in place of an actual alert will be a message, either in English or Spanish depending on the handset's language settings, saying "THIS IS A TEST of the National Wireless Emergency Alert System. No action is needed."
The tone should only be played once, though FEMA will be transmitting the test signal for half an hour, so anyone who doesn't want to get pinged will need to turn their device off for 30 minutes or so. If you get it once you shouldn't be bothered again, though. If you have a hidden handset in your home for whatever reason – perhaps to get some privacy from an abusive, phone-snooping spouse - and don't want it discovered, turning it off for a while is encouraged.
[5]
[6]
Radio and television tests will last around a minute, just like emergency alert tests of the past.
This is what it's like when conspiracy theories collide
There have been a number of conspiracy theories surrounding the COVID-19 vaccine - pair those up with [7]conspiracy theories surrounding 5G and you have a perfect storm.
FEMA's test, warn [8]numerous social media posts, will "activate" diseases like E. coli bacteria along with Marburg and Ebola viruses that were snuck into vaccines in a sealed form that could only be activated by an 18GHz 5G broadcast. Other posts claim the EAS test is a cover for the activation of RFID chips contained in the vaccine. Either way, time is running out for the sheeple, various posters allege.
Just to be clear: this is all nonsense.
[9]Florida folks dragged out of bed by false emergency texts
[10]Warning! Critical flaws found in US Emergency Alert System
[11]The Great British anti-5G fruitcake Bakeoff: Group hugs, no guns, and David Icke
When we asked FEMA for comment on the matter its response was succinct: "The posts you're citing are false," the agency told us.
"The sole purpose of the test is to ensure that the systems continue to be an effective means of warning the public about emergencies, particularly those on the national level," FEMA added.
[12]
"Additionally, the national test alert, or any alert issued via FEMA's Integrated Public Alert and Warning System, will not make your phone or any other device 'inoperable.' Both WEA and EAS use broadcast technologies and cannot collect any of your data."
Three seconds of audio could end up costing Fox $500,000 [13]MORE EAS
It's also worth noting that FEMA conducted a WEA test in 2021 - after the COVID-19 vaccine was deployed - and while that test was limited to devices that were [14]opted in to FEMA's testing program, no reports of zombies or mass fatalities followed.
It's also worth noting that we're all regularly bombarded with 5G signals - [15]including those in the 18GHz range that's supposed to activate those deadly viruses, and everyone's fine. Whether 1420 ET today will be the beginning of the end remains to be seen, and we'll definitely update this story if so - this vulture may be unable to file the update, however, as he'll be a zombie. ®
Updated to add
Yup, the test worked, for us at least. And even though we all knew it was coming, it still made us jump.
Get our [16]Tech Resources
[1] https://www.theregister.com/2020/07/24/bill_gates_debuts/
[2] https://www.fema.gov/press-release/20231003/fema-and-fcc-plan-nationwide-emergency-alert-test-oct-4-test-messages-will
[3] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_specialfeatures/cybersecuritymonth&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=2&c=2ZR3ghXFaZYedwohOt0hlBQAAAA4&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D2%26raptor%3Dcondor%26pos%3Dtop%26test%3D0
[4] https://www.theregister.com/2018/01/30/hawaii_missile_drill_attack_real/
[5] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_specialfeatures/cybersecuritymonth&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=4&c=44ZR3ghXFaZYedwohOt0hlBQAAAA4&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D4%26raptor%3Dfalcon%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0
[6] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_specialfeatures/cybersecuritymonth&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=3&c=33ZR3ghXFaZYedwohOt0hlBQAAAA4&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D3%26raptor%3Deagle%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0
[7] https://www.theregister.com/2020/06/22/5g_conspiracy_theories_rage_violence_paranoia/
[8] https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-news/oct-4-fema-alert-test-5g-anti-vaxx-conspiracy-theory-1234838377/
[9] https://www.theregister.com/2023/04/21/florida_emergency_alert/
[10] https://www.theregister.com/2022/08/05/eas_vulnerabilities_dhs/
[11] https://www.theregister.com/2020/05/04/britains_anti5g_protests/
[12] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_specialfeatures/cybersecuritymonth&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=4&c=44ZR3ghXFaZYedwohOt0hlBQAAAA4&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D4%26raptor%3Dfalcon%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0
[13] https://www.theregister.com/2023/01/27/fox_eas_tones_fine/
[14] https://www.fema.gov/fact-sheet/frequently-asked-questions-2021-ipaws-national-test
[15] https://www.federalregister.gov/documents/2000/09/07/00-22238/redesignation-of-the-18-ghz-frequency-band-blanket-licensing-of-satellite-earth-stations-in-the
[16] https://whitepapers.theregister.com/
We had our test a few months back. Phones connected to the Three network didn't get the alert.
Yupp , I nearly got vapourised by the incoming russian nukes because I never got the warning.
Still ... an effiecent way of reducing the population by 20% before the war even started
Whaddya mean those nukes never arrived? and whos bunker have I been living in for the past 6 months?
Zombie here, in N. California.
Clearly the test worked, my fingers are falling off as I type.
Looking forward to the tens of thousands of disease-ridden sheeple descending on the local hospital. I'm hungry, and the picking should be easy.
Lest anyone not understand, the above is sarcasm, and laughing at the conspiracy whack jobs.
Re: Zombie here, in N. California.
I am a conspiracy whack job and I am insulted by your post
We were considering using this alert to trigger the secret mind control chips we installed, but we decided not to because they've been acting up. Some of the chips appear to have caused some glitches and made people start saying that they got them in vaccinations, but in reality we already implanted them years before and we've just been waiting until the communication systems were good enough to fully make use of them. At least the screaming about vaccines cleverly hides where the chips really came from, but it's still not great if our mind control conspiracy results in lunatics instead of pliable slaves. Also, we decided to broadcast an activation signal with the firmware update that fixes this in a way that doesn't cause phones to start shrieking. I don't know who decided that people should get a warning when the control starts up, but give us some credit, we shut that idea down fast. We're competent evil overlords, after all.
To any sarcasm-deficient readers, this was all completely true; I really do have mind control chips in everybody, vaccinated or not. Don't make me use it. Insert evil laughter here.
To any non-sarcasm-deficient readers, let's all do this. It gets boring having to state the obvious.
The best comment on this I saw was on Reddit, and was along the lines of “several of my cow-orkers believe the vaccine conspiracy theories, so when the alert goes off, I’m going to clutch in pain at my arm, fall to the floor, then stand straight up and in a blank robotic monotone, praise Joe Biden.”
Every fule kno
it's not the shot that has the mind control chips, it's the COVID test they shove waaaay up your nose, directly into your brains. That should be obvious! (See icon)
Re: Every fule kno
That's only the Bill Gates mind control chip.
You should see where Oracle stick the Larry Ellison one
Can't turn it off
In spite of turning off all government alerts on my iPhone, the test still came through loud and clear.
Re: Can't turn it off
The alert came through 2 minutes early. (Maybe before some safety-phones were fully hidden from abusers?) --- oh, OK, this was "approximately 2:20 p.m."
> In spite of turning off all government alerts on my iPhone, the test still came through loud and clear.
The fact that there was no setting to 100% disable this alert was knowable (and known) before.
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/hidden-phones-national-emergency-alert-test/
Gonna log-off now, got a sudden hunger for brains brain brains
Re: Can't turn it off
"The fact that there was no setting to 100% disable this alert was knowable (and known) before."
My second phone, which usually lives in the Peterbilt, was turned off, but battery fully charged and installed. It did not alert me. I assume I'll have a message waiting for me next time it gets turned on. The house land-line has not made a peep, nor have the various business phones.
Cells are Verizon, house & businesses are AT&T.
Re: Can't turn it off
It is against the law for it to be something you can disable. Similar to how TVs (when tuned to an OTA channel) and cable set tops aren't permitted to turn off weather alerts.
Re: Can't turn it off
Nope, not without reflashing your phone.
My only question is WHY?
What the fuck major disaster could possibly occur which would require a national broadcast to EVERYTHING?
This place is kinda large ... some 340 million people spread out over 3.8 million square miles (9.2km²).
Even an all-out attack from one of the other nuclear powers, or an Everest sized asteroid about to hit Earth head-on wouldn't require such a hair-brained broadcast. I mean, seriously, why bother freaking out the sheep for the last few minutes of their lives? Makes no sense.
"We have to be seen doing something! This is something, so obviously we must do it!" ... it's just fucking useless politicians wasting money as always.
Re: My only question is WHY?
The only logical thing is a nuclear strike, where an announcement as soon as the attack is predicted, which is still a matter of minutes, would allow some people to get to a safer location. Of course, a lot of those would not actually go there and would start panicking, but that's theoretically a benefit. However, this national test isn't that different from testing in multiple regions one after another. A smaller region getting a local emergency report covers more situations, and if they're testing it, they could just do it all at once.
Re: My only question is WHY?
When they dropped nukes on the Nevada desert, anyone living in an inhabited area who wasn't manufacturing photographic film was mostly fine, at least in the immediate aftermath.
I am less certain that nobody suffered long-term effects, but an alert system isn't going to make any difference to that.
Re: My only question is WHY?
> When they dropped nukes on the Nevada desert, anyone living in an inhabited area who wasn't manufacturing photographic film was mostly fine
Also anyone hiding in a fridge.
Re: My only question is WHY?
What the fuck major disaster could possibly occur which would require a national broadcast to EVERYTHING?
In case of in case of alien invasion, [1]Will Smith would have got out of bed and kicked alien butt earlier if he had a phone with emergency alerts .
[1] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7u7auI5JiGA
Re: My only question is WHY?
It is an outgrowth of EAS, which was originally created for national defense warnings like the USSR launching nukes, has been used on broadcast TV for decades to send out weather alerts, and was later expanded to cable TV set tops.
If everyone had carried something with them that could have been alerted in the 50s or 60s when they first had the idea for EAS it would be something we're used to by now. I agree it is rather silly to warn us a nuclear strike, it isn't like there is time to get away or if the attack is big enough that there would be anywhere to get away to. But this was an idea from the "duck and cover" days!
I hope there are good controls on it so a president doesn't have unilateral power to decide when it is used. Imagine if Trump had sent out a message on Jan. 6 declaring a national emergency and calling on citizens everywhere to show up with guns to take over their state and local governments based on the big lie of voting fraud? I'm sure Trump supporters can imagine equally dire scenarios where Biden misuses the power.
I have to think it is possible to limit it geographically which could have its uses, but I don't see any realistic scenario where you'd need to send a message to the entire US.
On a bus after the second lockdown and there were two ladies, (if you think of the Les Dawson 'Cissie and Ada' you're not far off) who are having a natter. One of them starts talking about the microchips in the vaccines (which they have not had) and the other nodding or making appropriate supportive noises. I turned round for they were directly behind me and said I don't normally interrupt other people's conversations but in this case I feel I must. How big do you think these microchips are that they fit down a hypodermic syringe? So one of them Googles a hypodermic syringe and discovers they are under half a millimeter thick. As I pointed out that's the width of the entire needle and not the inner bit where these microchips are supposed to be flowing into the body.
I then asked how microscopic microchips were supposed to be powered, or do they have a battery onboard, which would increase the size still further? By now Cissie has clearly heard enough and says that it's all bunkum, Ada is still clinging to a shred of belief in the conspiracy. So I ask how a microchip is supposed to affect human behaviour the technology for which was still very much in the infancy stages if not the embryonic. Ada says that her very reliable friend told her it was true and now she realises that this friend might not be so reliable after all.
Good, Good . Keep stamping on the Truth wherever it leaks out. You have done well, agent #467-••¥z.
Signed,
The Secret Gay Jewish Nazi Lizard Illuminati Freemasons.
(icon shouldn’t be necessary, but some people...)
>The Secret Gay Jewish Nazi Lizard Illuminati Freemasons.
splitters !
No no, you’re thinking of the Secret Gay Jewish Nazi Lizard Freemason Illuminati .
They’re just a bunch of wannabe poseurs who couldn’t organize a One World Government in a brewery.
No 5G initiated Zombie Apocalypse...?
So the conspiracy wackos will now admit this was bullshit and undertake to stop polluting the interwebs with their fucking nonsense?
Re: No 5G initiated Zombie Apocalypse...?
Yes, that’s totally how it works. When their fever-dream conspiracy theories are shown to be wrong they are well-known for humbly apologizing and keeping a very low profile from then on.
Nurse! My pills!
Re: No 5G initiated Zombie Apocalypse...?
We can't even get 5G zombies here. We're lucky if we get 3G zombies most of the time. It's pathetic watching them stumble along, mumble Brai...... and then freeze
yay.....
I was able to delete it without reading more than the last word, wihch I've already forgotten, in that absolutely useless block of text.
Ours were in Spanish, apparently Arizona has been officially annexed into Mexico.
Now from my perspective, sitting in a pub (bar) in the suburbs of London, there is just (right now) 54 minutes before the apparent zombie apocalypse happens! Could anyone on the left side of the pond, who survives this please post in an hour or so, just to show what a load of abject BS this is? Unless of course you are fleeing a horde of zombies, in which case it is perfectly understandable why your post might be delayed somewhat!