Windows screensaver left broadcast techie all at sea
- Reference: 1692948606
- News link: https://www.theregister.co.uk/2023/08/25/on_call/
- Source link:
This week, meet a reader we'll Regomize as "Merrill," who wrote to tell us he once worked for Royal Caribbean cruise lines as a broadcast technician!
Merrill's job meant he went to sea to make sure ships' passenger TV systems showed the right thing on the right channel at the right time. He also got to capture footage of passengers so they could buy a video souvenir of their voyage.
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"Because there were only two broadcast techs on the ship, most of the content on the passenger TV system ran automatically from VHS players, DVD players, and computers running PowerPoint," Merrill told On Call. "We mostly had to keep an eye on things and occasionally restart something that had stopped unexpectedly."
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But sometimes the job presented different challenges. Like the time some Windows PCs arrived to drive PowerPoint content displayed around the ship.
"These were just slide shows that ran in a continuous loop, showing the menus in the dining room for that day, or the ship's TV channel lineup, or the activities planned for that day."
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On the day the machines docked, Merrill's first mate was on duty making souvenir vids.
"I spent an hour or so setting up the new computers and transferring the PowerPoint presentations into them, but left unfinished the last step of putting them 'on air' because I wanted my fellow broadcast technician to check my work."
Which was, of course, entirely sensible – every techie knows to test before putting anything into production, right?
[5]Resilience is overrated when it's not advertised
[6]Lock-in to legacy code is a thing. Being locked in by legacy code is another thing entirely
[7]How to get a computer get stuck in a lift? Ask an 'illegal engineer'
[8]The choice: Pay BT megabucks, or do something a bit illegal. OK, that’s no choice
But Merrill also did something that wasn't sensible. As he explored the new PCs, he couldn't help but mess with the Windows screensaver.
"I was greatly amused by the option that would allow you to create 3D extruded text that would then bounce around the screen happily with all kinds of cool, at the time, lighting and shading effects."
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Merrill thought the screensaver would never be seen outside of his studio. He entered a message expressing affection for his colleague, despite his considerable girth – expressed in very crude terms that we cannot repeat here and which even the gnarliest of sailors might not feel comfortable using at sea.
"I figured my coworker would get a laugh out of it. Then I went to lunch," Merrill said.
Said coworker was impressed by Merrill's work on the PowerPoints, and decided they were ready to go into production.
Without ever looking at the screensaver.
Merrill discovered this when, during lunch in the crew mess, a nearby screen displayed the rude screensaver in all its 3D glory. And if it was visible on that screen, it was also visible on every other screen on the ship – to over 2,600 paying customers …
"A burst of wailing and gnashing of teeth ensued, followed by a mad dash from the crew mess to the broadcast room where we quickly got the offensive phrase off the screen," Merrill told On Call.
"Happily, we never heard a word about it from anyone," he concluded.
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[5] https://www.theregister.com/2023/08/18/on_call/
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Still, once he'd seen what was on the screens, at least the ship inherited a second poop deck...
Master Bates would never have allowed such buffoonery to happen on his watch.
> Master Bates would never have allowed such buffoonery to happen on his watch
Yeah, he'd have been to busy cleaning up after Seaman Stains...
No, That job was relegated to Roger the cabin boy.
"Happily, we never heard a word about it from anyone,"
I wonder how well that demonstrates the usefulness of those screens.
Re: "Happily, we never heard a word about it from anyone,"
Well, at least it displays the optimal exit route and survival procedures when the ship has lost power and is sinking.
Oh wait...
A sailor went to sea-sea-sea
And all the ship could see see see
The dodginess of CCTVVV
When I used to work in cyber security, one of my colleagues was contracted by a cruise company to run a check on the on-board networks: WiFi, compartmentalisation of the public and internal networks, etc. Unfortunately (for the cruise company, not my colleague), delays in the schedule meant that he could only start once the ship had left port. The testing only took a couple of days, but the cheapest way of getting him home was for him to stay on the ship for another three or four days. Nice work if you can get it!
Not a screen saver, but...
One place I worked at had some DB app that included error handling (a sensible thing).
However, one of the developers was bored with the error messages that popped up during testing, so "refactored" the handler - and forgot to revert it before shipping the next release.
Not long after, a support call came in:
Customer: "Something strange is going on. I was trying to do XYZ, but wasn't sure how to get it to work so I had to try a few times".
Support: "Ok, sounds like we should document that a bit better".
Customer: "That would help. What got me was the error message that popped up".
Support: "Oh?"
Customer: "Yes. It said "9 out of 10 intelligent people would have worked this out by now""!
Luckily, this customer was an understanding type with a sense of humour...
huh?
On the day the machines docked, Merrill's first mate was on duty making souvenir vids.
I was with you up to there. Wtf does that mean?
Poor Merrill, but it's totally understandable. It's hard to concentrate or think things through when you're surrounded by seamen.