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  ARM Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life (Terry Pratchett, Jingo)

The choice: Pay BT megabucks, or do something a bit illegal. OK, that’s no choice

(2023/07/28)


On Call Some say that working for The Register is one never-ending holiday, but On Call – our weekly reader-contributed tale of techies being asked to endure atrocious emergencies, has taken a break. This week we therefore present some shorter tales from the On Call mailbag that were sent in response to an On Call from June 2nd, regarding ethernet cable [1]strung through trees to avoid blowing the budget on a WAN, and an On Call from June 30th concerning [2]the perils of international keyboard layouts .

On the topic of cabling, one contribution came from a reader we’ll call “Mark” who told us he once handled IT for a supplier of safety products.

“We were tasked with connecting their new warehouse just across the road into the main network and didn't fancy paying the earth to BT.”

[3]

Nobody likes paying BT, the UK’s former monopoly telco that has become a byword for big bills and cretinous customer service.

[4]

[5]

Mark therefore tried Wi-Fi, but it couldn’t go the distance. An absence of trees or other foliage meant a hanging cable was not feasible.

But then Mark noticed a BT engineer working on an underground conduit that followed just the right route!

[6]

Mark and his colleagues watched until the BT bloke took his lunch break, whereupon they dived into the conduit and inserted the most anonymously gray cable they could find.

“Bingo! Gigabit ethernet to the new warehouse!” Mark told On Call.

Another reader, who we’ll call “Brad”, told us about the time he was given just the weekend to migrate data from one datacenter to another in a adjacent building.

[7]

“We thought and thought but couldn't really come up with a good way to do this, until one of our engineers suggested we run fibre between the two buildings – through the parking garage that linked the two?”

Brad went through the front door with a formal request to facilities but was rebuffed.

“We decided to do it anyway – surreptitiously,” he told On Call. Under cover of darkness he was part of a team that fibre through the garage, suspending it to the roof for “several hundred yards.”

Performance was brilliant, and the boss thought Mark and his mate were too: they took credit for a job well done without ever explaining how they pulled it off!

[8]Nobody does DR tests to survive lightning striking twice

[9]Quirky QWERTY killed a password in Paris

[10]False negative stretched routine software installation into four days of frustration

[11]That old box of tech junk you should probably throw out saves a warehouse

On the matter of international keyboards causing chaos, a reader we’ll call “Lars” and who owns PCs with both QWERTZ and QWERTY layouts, told us why this sort of mess happens.

“Microsoft appears to store keyboard layouts with the profile of the USER rather than the profile (identity, whatever) of the computer,” he told On Call.

“As a result, I may have to adjust my keyboard layout before logging in on a computer. From US to DE on this ‘German’ machine, from DE to US on others. The keyboard settings may change against my wish during use again, so using my latest Windows computers requires me to pay close attention to the keyboard settings.”

We’re guessing the need for that sort of tedium explains the trouble experienced by a reader we’ll call “Paul” whose employer acquired a piece of equipment from Germany, a nation that prefers the QWERTZ keyboard layout to QWERTY.

When the equipment was configured an admin password that included a “Z” was chosen, but as the machine connected to a QWERTY keyboard, logins failed time and again.

“I wish I could remember how we actually diagnosed the mapping issue, but that's lost somewhere in the brain cell,” he wrote.

Speaking of unresponsive brain cells, that’s why On Call is taking a break.

The column resumes normal service on August 4th. Make its return from holiday worth celebrating by [12]clicking here to send On Call a story of your tech misadventures ! We favor stories of techies being asked to achieve miracles, being under-appreciated for pulling them off, and walking away triumphant! The cleaner the better, and no story is too silly! ®

Get our [13]Tech Resources



[1] https://www.theregister.com/2023/06/02/on_call/

[2] https://www.theregister.com/2023/06/30/on_call/

[3] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_onprem/networks&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=2&c=2ZMORyKjwH@vj9SQDbkNQ2AAAAdI&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D2%26raptor%3Dcondor%26pos%3Dtop%26test%3D0

[4] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_onprem/networks&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=4&c=44ZMORyKjwH@vj9SQDbkNQ2AAAAdI&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D4%26raptor%3Dfalcon%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0

[5] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_onprem/networks&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=3&c=33ZMORyKjwH@vj9SQDbkNQ2AAAAdI&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D3%26raptor%3Deagle%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0

[6] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_onprem/networks&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=4&c=44ZMORyKjwH@vj9SQDbkNQ2AAAAdI&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D4%26raptor%3Dfalcon%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0

[7] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_onprem/networks&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=3&c=33ZMORyKjwH@vj9SQDbkNQ2AAAAdI&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D3%26raptor%3Deagle%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0

[8] https://www.theregister.com/2023/07/07/on_call/

[9] https://www.theregister.com/2023/06/30/on_call/

[10] https://www.theregister.com/2023/06/16/on_call/

[11] https://www.theregister.com/2023/05/26/on_call/

[12] mailto:oncall@theregister.com

[13] https://whitepapers.theregister.com/



QWERTZ/QWERTY.

ColinPa

This is a real bother if you touch type! I learned to always check what you've typed! Eventually my brain became bilingual - a bit like driving in Europe/Britain, it takes a little while to get used to it.

Re: QWERTZ/QWERTY.

ChoHag

After teaching myself dvorak some years back, I found that I could only touch-type qwerty while I constantly glanced at the keyboard, and dvorak while I didn't. It didn't matter what (if anything) was printed on the keys, just the direction my eyes were pointing.

"On the matter of international keyboards causing chaos"

Andy Non

I had similar problems with a French laptop years ago. I'd set up Linux full disk encryption successfully, but upon reboot couldn't get into the computer. It kept rejecting my password. Finally the penny dropped that it was defaulting to US keyboard layout until further into the boot sequence when it switched to French.

Re: "On the matter of international keyboards causing chaos"

Neil Barnes

Similar issue years ago with a French keyboard (numbers are shifted, as I recall) which read as a US keyboard at bios level until the OS woke up and notice it was French. So the bios password worked but the keys weren't where you thought they ought to be.

b0llchit

Speaking of unresponsive brain cells...

Take a few more of (icon) --->

Will kill all the unresponsive braincells quite effectively.

100m goes a long way

Catkin

A friend was living in a student house with an aggressive landlord who would deduct from the deposit over so much as a drawing pin in the wall. To make matters worse, the walls somehow were able to block WiFi signals quite effectively. As this Victorian building had fireplaces in every significant room, they were able to use plumb bobs to fish for Cat 5, taking each run from the router in the living room up to the chimney pots and looping over back into the bedrooms. No (visible) damage was caused because the same aggressive landlord had cheaped out on closing the fireplaces and just used screws to secure plywood over the fireplaces. It did take a few attempts of swinging the bob to reach some fireplaces because of oddly shaped flues but they got there in the end.

Re: 100m goes a long way

ChoHag

If there is even the slightest possibility that your landlord won't return your deposit (hint: duh), then remember that not only is it really just a month or so paid in advance but that it can take many more months than that to kick out a non-paying tenant.

Re: 100m goes a long way

Catkin

I don't know their specifics but, when I was renting accommodation at the same time as a student, I had a guarantor (my parents). I can see that being a viable strategy if your credit history is already a train wreck but, if not, it does open you up to more costly issues (in total) over time. Personally, I'd go with good documentation (much easier these days to record a quick 4k walk through of the property) and the threat of the Housing Ombudsman.

Re: 100m goes a long way

I could be a dog really

It's worth remembering that for student lets, they are usually for a fixed term - so you are out at the end of the academic year regardless. Not paying the rent would be a bad move, as mentioned, liable to cause "annoyance" to your guarantor(s), and probably getting you a bad credit record into the bargain.

Similar language problem on Windows 1 0

Pascal Monett

My work laptop is Windows officially-the-last. I prefer my OS in English, so I set the default language to English.

Of course, I work in Luxembourg and live in France, so I set my location to France.

When I call up the Borkzilla Store, it is systematically in French. When I install a program, often the setup process is in French.

Guys, it's the location that is France, not the language.

Get your shit in order.

Re: Similar language problem on Windows 1 0

Andy Non

I have similar problems with some over-zealous location detecting websites. I'm in the UK now, but sometimes like to see various French news sites etc and go directly to the French version of the site, only for it to detect I'm in the UK and auto switch to the English version. With some sites it is impossible to wrestle it back to see the original French version.

Re: Similar language problem on Windows 1 0

Anonymous Coward

"I have similar problems with some over-zealous location detecting websites. I'm in the UK now, but sometimes like to see various French news sites etc and go directly to the French version of the site, only for it to detect I'm in the UK and auto switch to the English version. With some sites it is impossible to wrestle it back to see the original French version."

I have quit reading ign.com in large part due to that. No, I don't want the french version, some people in France read english, or czech, or whatever. Why do some websites admins think locations are hard linked to languages ?

Re: Similar language problem on Windows 1 0

GlenP

Although UK based I'm often remoted on to systems on other continents, Australasia isn't too much of a problem as at least web sites come up in a form of English but my Asian language knowledge is sadly lacking which is a pain when searching for a driver or similar and the website insists on being in the local language.

Re: Similar language problem on Windows 1 0

xyz

Same shit, different country. Even though my laptop language is English, I still get Spanish crap being installed evwn after farting around with language packs etc.

The other problem is the American software sales dept mentality. I hate those forms that make you specify the country you are in because you get deluged by crap from the local sales bit of turf even though the client I'm working for is in a different country. I use it as a test now to see how "international" a company mentality actually is... Snowflake take note.

Anonymous Coward

There's a world of a difference between finding a clever solution to a problem, and ignoring rules or instructions just to save money.

I used to work in a large R&D block where all the partition walls were part of the fireproofing, and made of asbestos cement.

It was made very clear to everyone that anyone who tried to be clever and route ordinary (non-fire-retardant) cable through any gaps, or (far worse) attempt to make a new hole in a wall, would be in very deep shit indeed.

It's not always clever to find short cuts, and insurance companies take a very dim view of it when expected to pay for the consequences.

ralphh

~2000 Luxembourg. I found a IBM Model M[?] keyboard in the spares and decided to use it.

It had a large, vertical enter key and Swiss-French or other keycaps. I used it with a US code page and touch-typed.

One day one of the other developers had to use my workstation, I found him copy/pasting a character, a semi-colon or quote maybe, as that was the only way he could generate the character.

Bad language

trevorde

Worked on a product which was localised into something like 14 (!) languages. The reality was that it was comprehensively tested on US/UK English, minimally on French + German, and untested on the others. We had a release where one Korean string was missing. The result was an instant crash when accessing a menu when running in Korean. Cue an emergency hotfix for Korean users only.

Dodgy cabling

gotes

I think the most absurd long distance network cable I've been involved with went across a factory roof. It was well over 100m, so we added a small switch (PoE powered) somewhere near the middle, wrapped in a plastic bag to keep it dry.

"Largely because it is so tangible and exciting a program and as such will
serve to keep alive the interest and enthusiasm of the whole spectrum of
society...It is justified because...the program can give a sense of shared
adventure and achievement to the society at large."
-- Dr. Colin S. Pittendrigh, in "The History of Manned Space Flight"