The return of the classic Flying Toasters screensaver
- Reference: 1681475534
- News link: https://www.theregister.co.uk/2023/04/14/return_flying_toasters/
- Source link:
Screensavers are a simple tech for a bygone era. Now, of course, most of us just let our flatscreens go to sleep after a period of inactivity. But back when CRT hummed to CRT like mastodons bellowing across primeval swamps, they didn't have a sleep mode, and you needed something to prevent the unchanging parts of your screen display "burning in," where a faint ghost of the image is permanently visible, rendering a display either unpleasant or impossible to use. Don't knock it – burn-in can still affect flatscreens today.
If you did like screensavers, you can still have one. The sage of Netscape himself, Jamie Zawinski, or [1]jwz as he's often known online, still maintains [2]XScreensaver after 31 years. It mainly targets Unix-like OSes running X11, but it also works on macOS, iOS and Android. It's included in many distros – for instance, on Ubuntu, you can install it with: sudo apt install xscreensaver*
(You might want to remove the gnome-screensaver program, if it's installed, as the two may clash.)
One of the classic Mac screensavers was the great After Dark from Berkeley Systems, which also sold add-on packs of additional screensavers. The Reg FOSS Desk was especially fond of the Star Trek collection, and the Totally Twisted pack also offered considerable entertainment value for something totally non-interactive. The company later ported After Dark to Windows as well.
Probably the single most famous animation in all the collections was known as Flying Toasters, for the flocks of kitchen appliances that majestically flapped their way across the screen. This has inspired many recreations over the years, [3]including one implemented entirely in CSS . Infinisys still offers commercial [4]macOS and [5]Windows versions today.
[6]Double BSD birthday bash beckons – or triple, if you count MidnightBSD 3.0
[7]Fancy trying the granddaddy of Windows NT for free? Now's your chance
[8]Ubuntu 23.04 'Lunar Lobster' beta is here in all its glitchy glory
[9]New models of IBM Model F keyboard Mark II incoming
Now, poor toast-deprived penguin-fondlers can join in the retro fest, thanks to developer Mikhail Shchekotov, who has built a [10]plugin called flying-toasters for XScreensaver on x86 Linux. It's a mere 46kB, so the download isn't even compressed: you just download the binary, add a line to your ~/.xscreensaver config file, and it works.
A slight snag is that XScreensaver already includes a module called FlyingToasters . It lives up to its name, and displays a panning zooming array of sleek shiny fixed-wing toasters with jet engines, as opposed to the feathery flappers of the original. There's nothing at all wrong with it – indeed, it's a miniature work of art in its own right, with optional chrome finish, fog, and more adjustable parameters.
[11]
Meanwhile, Mr Shchekotov's new version has no settings to twiddle at all, just the classic flappers, interspersed with flying slices of lightly grilled bread products. You can't even adjust how brown they are, and we love it. ®
Get our [12]Tech Resources
[1] https://www.jwz.org/
[2] https://www.jwz.org/xscreensaver/
[3] https://www.theregister.com/2014/03/17/flying_toaster_screen_savers_return_on_github/
[4] https://en.infinisys.co.jp/product/afterdarkclassicset/index.shtml
[5] https://en.infinisys.co.jp/product/flyingtoasterswin/index.shtml
[6] https://www.theregister.com/2023/04/13/freebsd_132_openbsd_73/
[7] https://www.theregister.com/2023/04/13/openvms_921_x86_hobby/
[8] https://www.theregister.com/2023/04/04/ubuntu_2304_lunar_lobster_beta/
[9] https://www.theregister.com/2023/04/03/new_model_f_keyboards/
[10] https://github.com/torunar/flying-toasters-xscreensaver
[11] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_onprem/personaltech&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=2&c=2ZDl4oZI7Vk6jTLqyZQTkIgAAAIc&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D2%26raptor%3Dcondor%26pos%3Dtop%26test%3D0
[12] https://whitepapers.theregister.com/
There is only one classic toaster!
Lister: Oh no, man, dismantle him, you don't know what the little bleeder's like.
Kryten: Well I read on the documentation Sir. He's simply a talking alarm clock that provides his owner with early morning toast and light conversation.
Lister: Not this one, this one's mental.
Kryten [puzzled]: Sir?
Lister: He's defective. He wants everyone to eat toast all of the time. He's obsessed with it. And if you don't want to eat, like, four hundred rounds of toast every hour, he throws a major wobbler. That's what caused the accident in the first place.
Kryten: What accident?
Lister: The accident involving me, the toaster, the waste disposal and a fourteen-pound lump hammer.
Kryten: That explains why he was down in the garbage hold in three thousand separate pieces.
Lister: And another thing is, he always says "Howdy Doodly Doo". Drives you spare. I mean, what the smeg does "Howdy Doodly Doo" mean?
Re: There is only one classic toaster!
Holly: [her IQ has been increased to 12,000] Strike a light! I'm a genius again! I know everything! Metaphysics, philosophy, the purpose of being-everything! Ask me a question, any question, and I'll answer it."
Talkie Toaster: "Any question?"
Holly: "Yes."
Talkie Toaster: "How to break the speed of light? How to marry quantum mechanics and classical physics? Any question at all, truly anything and you will answer?"
Holly: "Yes."
Talkie Toaster: "OK, here's my question: Would you like some toast?"
Holly: "No, thank you. Now ask me another."
Talkie Toaster: "Do you know anything about the use of chaos theory in predicting weather cycles?"
Holly: "I know everything there is to know about chaos theory and predicting weather cycles"
Talkie Toaster: "Oh, very well. Here's my second question: Would you like a crumpet?"
Holly: "I'm a computer with an I.Q. of 12,000. You don't seem to understand; I know the meaning of the universe."
Talkie Toaster: "That's not answering my question."
Holly: [irritated] "No, I would not like a crumpet! Now ask me a sensible question, preferably one that isn't bread related."
Talkie Toaster: "Very well. I have a third question. A sensible question. A question that will tax your new I.Q. to its very limits and stretch the sinews of you knowledge to bursting point."
Holly: This is going to be about waffles, isn't it?"
Talkie Toaster: Certainly not. And I resent the implication that I'm a one-dimensional, bread-obsessed electrical appliance."
Holly: I apologise, toaster. What's the question?"
Talkie Toaster: The question is this: Given that God is infinite, and that the universe is also infinite... would you like a toasted teacake?"
Holly: "That's another bready question".
Talkie Toaster: "It's not just bready. It's quite curranty, too."
Re: There is only one classic toaster!
Damn, all of this want me to make a real life version of Talkie Toaster. Then put it in the C-suite lunch room bolted to the table and doors automatically locking when the C-suite has arrived for lunch.
And, of course, live streamed on the internet.
Re: There is only one classic toaster!
Have you setup a JustGiving or Patreon account for that yet?
Re: There is only one classic toaster!
There's a problem with putting it in the C-suite. The toaster is much smarter than they are. On second thought . it might be an improvement.
turn it off
I just looked, and indeed my 6(?) year old Linux release does have xscreensaver installed. But, I never use it.
Instead, I long ago put a widget in Ubuntu Mate's task/status/menu bar thingy that executes the following script:
#! /bin/bash
sleep 10
xset dpms force off
When I'm heading away from the computer I click on the widget (I use the screensaver icon for it), move the mouse pointer to somewhere out of the way, and go. 10 seconds later, X tells the monitor to go inactive. Which it does, saving screen *and* power.
I was always a big fan of the black screen screensaver, long before it became the default option.
At one point I used the screen saver that scrolled text across the screen at varying heights. The text I chose was "How do you keep an idiot in suspense?" Some weeks after setting it up my line manager rather sheepishly admitted that one evening he'd stood by my desk for 10 minutes waiting for the answer.
Nope
Don't follow (copy/paste) the instructions on Github and put
/usr/local/bin/bin/flying-toasters \n\
in ~/.xscreensaver when you just installed it into /usr/local/bin.
Also don't forget to chmod +x the file.
And then it still doesn't work on my machine.
Nope to Flying Toasters, but....
I want modules for the Opus 'n Bill Bloom County screensavers.
But, but, but...
I'm sure the original XScreenSaver did have a flapping wing toaster. It lasted all of 2 days until I changed to something a bit less irritating. I thought at the time that is was a very clever bit of animation bit not so good it was worth disk space which was at a premium in those good old days. I vaguely remember the jet powered one arriving later when I had more disk, memory and computing power, but I didn't even enable it in the random selector.