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  ARM Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life (Terry Pratchett, Jingo)

US defence forces no match for the unstoppable fiend known as Reply-All

(2023/02/14)


Thirteen thousand members of the United States Army were reportedly caught up in a Reply-All email storm in early February.

Khaki-hued news and recruitment site Military.com last week [1]published an account of the email swarm penned by a serving member of the Army who was granted anonymity to avoid backlash from brass.

The report states that the Reply-All storm started when an Army captain replied to a message from a distribution list called "FA57 Voluntary Transfer Incentive Program". Tragically, the unnamed soldier hit Reply-All instead of just Reply.

[2]

Their response soon reached 13,000 inboxes belonging to Army captains, “some newly promoted majors, a single chief warrant officer, a Space Force captain, and a specialist”.

[3]

[4]

As is often the case, the storm grew in power as some recipients of the unwanted email also used Reply-All to relay their requests for the flood of emails to stop, while others used Reply-All with ironic intent – to both celebrate and complicate the mess. There are always a few, aren't there.

The anonymous author reports that the growing thread eventually spawned a 1,700-strong Teams group dedicated to discussing the incident and some of the amusing spinoffs it generated – such as mass Rickrolling attempts and a fake advance-fee scam.

[5]

All of which would be funny, were it not for three things.

For starters, the incident coincided with a Chinese spy balloon's journey across US airspace.

Second, it was quite clearly far from a wise use of military resources.

[6]

Finally, the author points out that at least some of the Reply-All storm was caused by Army members just not being very good at email.

"There are far too many technically illiterate captains who would benefit from learning how to use Microsoft Outlook (particularly how to set up sorting rules) instead of replying like boomers using new technology," the anonymous author opined.

[7]Microsoft staff giggle beneath the weight of a 52,000-person Reply-All email storm

[8]Spam is back with a vengeance. Luckily we can't read any of it

[9]Thunderbird email client is Go for new plumage in July

[10]'Private cloud server' Jira upgraded for wider teams, dragged into culture wars

The author also offered alternative theories for the Reply-All storm – among them a possible viral marketing campaign by the managers of the FA57 Voluntary Transfer Incentive Program.

The author concluded with the observation that "This event proves the point that if you put a bunch of soldiers or officers of the same rank in one room (including generals), they will revert to acting like privates within 15 minutes." ®

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[1] https://www.military.com/daily-news/opinions/2023/02/09/army-officer-email-chain-caused-pandemonium.html

[2] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_software/front&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=2&c=2Y@tp0vcNptJKfXnJAoTvbgAAAAs&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D2%26raptor%3Dcondor%26pos%3Dtop%26test%3D0

[3] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_software/front&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=4&c=44Y@tp0vcNptJKfXnJAoTvbgAAAAs&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D4%26raptor%3Dfalcon%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0

[4] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_software/front&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=3&c=33Y@tp0vcNptJKfXnJAoTvbgAAAAs&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D3%26raptor%3Deagle%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0

[5] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_software/front&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=4&c=44Y@tp0vcNptJKfXnJAoTvbgAAAAs&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D4%26raptor%3Dfalcon%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0

[6] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_software/front&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=3&c=33Y@tp0vcNptJKfXnJAoTvbgAAAAs&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D3%26raptor%3Deagle%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0

[7] https://www.theregister.com/2020/03/26/microsoft_reply_all_email_storm_52000/

[8] https://www.theregister.com/2022/05/27/something_for_the_weekend_/

[9] https://www.theregister.com/2023/02/14/thunderbird_115_supernova_complete_overhaul/

[10] https://www.theregister.com/2023/02/13/jira_upgrade_congress/

[11] https://whitepapers.theregister.com/



Ageism is alive and well...

chuckufarley

...

"There are far too many technically illiterate captains who would benefit from learning how to use Microsoft Outlook (particularly how to set up sorting rules) instead of replying like boomers using new technology," the anonymous author opined.

Boomers made this technology. If you can't thank them then at the very least do not insult them.

Re: Ageism is alive and well...

anothercynic

Don't shoot the messenger.

Re: Ageism is alive and well...

Pascal Monett

Not to mention : what the hell do sorting rules have to do with Reply All ?

Besides, this is an old problem. It was a problem when boomers were young, and it will likely be a problem when today's millenials have become boomers as well.

Anonymous Coward

I remember a few years ago now working for healthcare provider when this very thing happened. Whilst extremely childish once it gets going it can be hilarious especially when those at the top start getting annoyed at actually having to do something for a change. It can also be especially spicy when you have people due to leave within a few days.

When it all started

Anonymous Coward

"The report states that the Reply-All storm started when an Army captain replied to a message from a distribution list called "FA57 Voluntary Transfer Incentive Program"."

Actually, one would argue it really started when a fuckwit sent an email to 13 000 recipients in the To:/cc:. Out of 13 000 of whatever population of users, you always have 1-10 % who will reply to all !

Recently, I received an email from a certain dude, using a company dist list I knew had about 1 000 recipients, and promptly realized this dist list was open to everyone while it really shouldn't be. It was obviously minutes before the storm would start. I contacted the guy immediately and he managed to lock-up the dist list before the storm.

Close shave !

Re: When it all started

anothercynic

Yes, agreed, distribution lists like that one should be locked down.

That would've stopped this mess in its tracks.

Acting like privates...

xyz

Does that mean like dicks?

Re: Acting like privates...

Anonymous Coward

Does that mean like dicks?

Don't be sexist, it could also mean like a bunch of pussies...

Heard a joke

Conundrum1885

An Army, Navy and Marine were taking a leak.

The Army zipped up, washed his hands, dried them and left.

The Marine just zipped up and walked out.

The Navy zipped up, washed, dried and left.

Outside, they were heard talking, "We know you're in a hurry but not washing, seriously?!"

The Army said to the Marine "In the Army we take hygiene very seriously"

"As do we" said the Navy.

Upon hearing this, the Marine said "In the Marines, we learn not to p**s on our hands in the first place."

Re: Heard a joke

seven of five

Yeah, they have the other branches to piss on them so they don't have to.

Re: Heard a joke

Potemkine!

I heard this anecdote about [1]Winston Churchill

[1] https://kettlemag.co.uk/at-harrow-they-taught-us-not-to-piss-on-our-hands/

Povl H. Pedersen

Why was all recipients visible in the first place ?

This would be illegal in civilized countries, and against OpSec in most countries.

BCC exists for a reason, but I know that Microsoft is hiding it. But people sending out mass mails should be taught. Or as they do in the military, promoted to the level where he makes least possible damage.

anothercynic

The recipients weren't visible in the first place. They used an Exchange distribution list, which dutifully sent the emails on to everyone else in the list. And, as you know, if you reply to an email from a mailing list (or distribution list) where the Reply-To is not configured correctly, eventually the To list grows and grows regardless of whether the distribution list is eventually locked down.

And yes, it's possible (although this hasn't been mentioned whether this was the case) that someone used the option in Outlook to 'expand' the distribution list in Exchange to put the actual addresses into the To list (which is a cockup you can lay on Microsoft's doorstep).

So the military still hasn't learned to control Reply All

Pascal Monett

It took decades, but finally Outlook allowed for controlling Reply All (I think it was in Office 2010).

I remember clearly working in various major organizations in Luxembourg around 2010 and seeing, for the first time in my life, that Reply All prompted a message box along the lines of "Are you really sure you want to do this ?". Some messages were more of the "Only do this if you can justify it to your manager" type.

So the military haven't cottoned on yet ?

Oh well, give them another four or five decades, they'll get there eventually.

Re: So the military still hasn't learned to control Reply All

Potemkine!

The first mistake was not to use Bcc to send mails to 10,000+ recipients.

Do you really want to do this?

Mayday

Maybe they did get this warning, and pressed “ok” anyway. How many people do you know who press “ok” without reading what they’re actually ok-ing?

Here is a simple experiment that will teach you an important electrical
lesson: On a cool, dry day, scuff your feet along a carpet, then reach your
hand into a friend's mouth and touch one of his dental fillings. Did you
notice how your friend twitched violently and cried out in pain? This
teaches us that electricity can be a very powerful force, but we must never
use it to hurt others unless we need to learn an important electrical lesson.
It also teaches us how an electrical circuit works. When you scuffed
your feet, you picked up batches of "electrons", which are very small objects
that carpet manufacturers weave into carpets so they will attract dirt.
The electrons travel through your bloodstream and collect in your finger,
where they form a spark that leaps to your friend's filling, then travels
down to his feet and back into the carpet, thus completing the circuit.
Amazing Electronic Fact: If you scuffed your feet long enough without
touching anything, you would build up so many electrons that your finger
would explode! But this is nothing to worry about unless you have
carpeting.
-- Dave Barry, "What is Electricity?"