Don't lock the datacenter door, said the boss. The builders need access and what could possibly go wrong?
- Reference: 1671780313
- News link: https://www.theregister.co.uk/2022/12/23/on_call/
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This week meet a reader we'll Regomize as "Liam" who once worked as the sole desktop support officer at a large whitegoods company.
One of Liam's users was a temporary accountant who often called for assistance that nearly always came down to just not having logged on properly and therefore lacking access to resources.
[1]
On this occasion the bean-counter complained about not being able to print and denied he had not logged on properly.
[2]
[3]
Liam printed a test page, which worked, but the user insisted his problem was not resolved and said he would sort it out by rebooting the system. This was new – the accountant was not really into self-help.
So Liam checked what the account was rebooting. Perhaps his PC?
[4]
"No," came the reply. “I'm going to push this big reset button.”
As Liam was not aware that this user had access to any big reset buttons he asked for a description.
In reply, the accountant gave a good verbal sketch of the emergency shutdown button on the giant UPS that kept the white goods manufacturer's entire office, warehouse, and comms kit running.
[5]Server broke because it was invisibly designed to break
[6]Boss installed software from behind the Iron Curtain, techies ended up Putin things back together
[7]Two signs in the comms cabinet said 'Do not unplug'. Guess what happened
[8]Go ahead, be rude. You don't know it now, but it will cost you $350,000
Liam quickly explained that pressing this button would lead to days of downtime and enormous costs, so urged the accountant not to press it.
Which he thankfully did not.
[9]
Liam then realized that the very big button was in an equipment room, far from the accountant's desk. So how did he get anywhere near it?
"Apparently, he had been watching the tradesmen who were doing some renovation and had realized that they often left the door unlocked so they could come and go without wasting time with security or business continuity practices," Liam explained.
Liam told On Call he had warned management bad things would happen if the door was left open, but they ignored him
He later quite enjoyed explaining that their decision nearly led to their quarterly bonuses evaporating.
Even more satisfying was learning that the accountant had, as usual, not logged into the network. Which was why he could not print.
Have your bosses been lethally optimistic about IT? Have your users used that to make a mess? Or any mess? Share your stories by [10]clicking here to send your story to On Call .
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Re: Not optimist, downright stupid
> Wear out? Absurd.
So the tires on his car never wear out as well.
And what about that inept accountant?
Keep a statistic on how often that happens. Record all his calls - though that may be illegal in some environments and need an OK from above.
And then present the collection to someone one level above his paygrade.
If that does not work: Run!
Datacenter door?
I worked at a place that when summer vacation rolled around, every door was open, every office everything... Painters needed access, cleaners needed access, engineers from outside companies needed access... In over 20 years, we lost a bit of gear due to that policy. Half a dozen laptops or so, a couple of iMacs and a projector. There was also one non-IT item, but it escapes me at the moment, I guess they chalked it up to the cost of doing business?
Even accountants can surprise us occasionally
This chap showed unusual thinking in gaining access to the machine room and then followed it up with unusual common sense by following instructions and not pressing the big red button. Frankly, he doesn't sound ideally suited to the profession, I imagine he didn't progress very far in that career.
The real result
He saved the boss' bonus and got nothing in return. He probably was off worse because a boss does not like to be corrected.
The boss has now learned not to tell the underling decisions that can be used to nag about.
rebooting the system
I would say we should do something about people who don't know what technical terms mean but try to use them anyway, but only the BOFH's methods would work at this point and most of them are illegal. Just as this accountant thought the emergency shutdown was a reboot the system button, I've had far too many discussions with nontechnical friends asking for help who string together terms in a way that means nothing.
The most recent one I remember is "disable the WiFi system", which could mean about five different things but could not mean what they wanted to say, which was "disconnect this USB-C cable which connects to a dock which has an ethernet cable connected to it". I have also recently informed someone that their "tape backup system" uses disks and isn't turned on and that "the email server was erased" is not an acceptable phrasing of "I can't find the message I want in my trash folder because I've never used the advanced search feature". These are just recent examples. I've heard stupider and I'm guessing those reading this have heard much worse, especially those who work in IT (I'm a software developer, programmer, or software engineer, but none of these terms is properly understood by my acquaintances either).
Re: rebooting the system
Quote
These are just recent examples. I've heard stupider and I'm guessing those reading this have heard much worse, especially those who work in IT (I'm a software developer, programmer, or software engineer, but none of these terms is properly understood by my acquaintances either).
Then you have not learned the mantra of every highly skilled technical staff member : "Never ever tell your friends/acquaintances/passers by exactly what you do"
Good luck fixing Auntie Flo's broadband connection on christmas day.......
Re: rebooting the system
> but only the BOFH's methods would work at this point and most of them are illegal
But the bean counter was in a protected area, the opposite side of the campus behind a protected door, in a room with a UPS providing BIG CHUNKY AMPS to the whole building. I claim the poor guy's air-frying was caused by malicious misadventure your honour. No the cameras were offline for maintenance. My boss has all the paperwork about that renovation work and my reserves about the lack of security there.
Am I free to go?
Not optimist, downright stupid
Have your bosses been lethally optimistic about IT?
In another life, I had a PHB/director who was a beancounter.
And a very dumb one at that.
I was in charge of maintenance of a couple of servers and ~60 desktop PCs.
On one occasion, when presenting my yearly budget plan, he actually asked:
Just why do you need so many of these expensive tapes for?
After I explained (as simply as possible), he insisted:
Wear out? Absurd. My tapes never wear out, I have been listening to them for years.
O.