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  ARM Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life (Terry Pratchett, Jingo)

London cops break into gallery to rescue lifelike art installation

(2022/12/14)


We doff our caps to the two London police officers who smashed down the doors of a small art gallery to rescue a woman who appeared to have collapsed and drowned in a bowl of soup.

The bobbies on the beat were following up reports that the stricken woman had not moved for hours. But that's because she is made of packing tape and foam filler.

Kristina , as the sculpture is named, was commissioned by Laz Emporium owner Steve Lazarides from American artist Mark Jenkins and is supposed to depict Lazarides' sister dressed in a yellow hoodie, black joggers and pink trainers, hunched over with her face in a bowl. The gallery posted a shot of the sculpture [1]here .

[2]

[3]According to Artnet News , the cops received a call at 17:32 on November 25, not long after Laz Emporium staff had locked up, expressing concern for an individual inside. Kristina can be seen clearly through the windows of the gallery.

[4]

[5]

Twenty minutes later, "officers forced entry to the address, where they uncovered that the person was in fact a mannequin," a police spokesperson told the outlet. "The Met has a duty of care to respond when there is a welfare concern."

[6]PSA: The 2020 monolith is a dead meme. You can stop putting them up now. Please

[7]Steve Jobs mural highlights plight of Syrian refugees

[8]Gold bugs, concrete bog roll holders and frolic-friendly furniture: What IS it with designers?

[9]Banksy denies Banksy impostor's claim to Banksy.com – which isn't owned by Banksy

Lazarides, who helped popularize street and underground art in the UK through his working association with Banksy, said that employee Hannah Blakemore "had just locked up and gone upstairs to make a cup of tea. She came down to find the door off its hinges and two confused police officers!"

Blakemore said the officers had been told that "the woman here has not been moving for the last two hours" and they suspected "a heart attack or she's overdosed." Obviously a little humiliated to realize that they had rushed to rescue an inanimate object, the police scolded Blakemore for having a sculpture that looked so lifelike. "The work is to provoke and it's definitely achieving that," she added.

And it's not the first time Kristina has caused a kerfuffle. When the sculpture was displayed at the Decorex art and design fair in October, someone called an ambulance, Blakemore said.

[10]

Lazarides [11]said of Kristina : "She's certainly earned her money and has helped no end in getting people to stop and look at our stand, as well as upsetting an awful lot of traditional types. It's nice to get it in front of the right people and for them to have such a positive reaction."

He added: "The beige brigade were not impressed we had one batty old fruit screaming 'I don't like it, I don't like it'."

Though the work is not for sale, it is thought to be worth around £18,000 ($22,000). ®

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[1] https://www.instagram.com/p/CjlE4V-IXXo/

[2] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/front&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=2&c=2Y5oBMrumdSG-fk-fcMO4PwAAAEQ&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D2%26raptor%3Dcondor%26pos%3Dtop%26test%3D0

[3] https://news.artnet.com/art-world/police-london-gallery-banksy-former-agent-sculpture-2226405

[4] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/front&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=4&c=44Y5oBMrumdSG-fk-fcMO4PwAAAEQ&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D4%26raptor%3Dfalcon%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0

[5] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/front&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=3&c=33Y5oBMrumdSG-fk-fcMO4PwAAAEQ&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D3%26raptor%3Deagle%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0

[6] https://www.theregister.com/2020/12/08/monolith_is_dead_meme/

[7] https://www.theregister.com/2015/12/11/steve_jobs_mural_syrian_refugees/

[8] https://www.theregister.com/2015/09/25/100_per_cent_design_review/

[9] https://www.theregister.com/2014/10/29/banksy_beats_banksy_imposter/

[10] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/front&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=4&c=44Y5oBMrumdSG-fk-fcMO4PwAAAEQ&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D4%26raptor%3Dfalcon%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0

[11] https://www.instagram.com/p/CjlE4V-IXXo/

[12] https://whitepapers.theregister.com/



Well done to the officers involved

Anonymous Coward

Well done. The police have as noted in the article, a duty of care to respond to welfare concerns. It turned out to be a misunderstanding, and a bit embarrassing, but they did the right thing.

Mannequins

elsergiovolador

Looks like the sales of mannequins are going to go through the roof.

This one simple trick to get police attention - bobbies hate this!

Had a burglary? Just put a mannequin at the crime scene and say it has not moved for hours, when police arrives tell them about the burglary!

Someone stole your bike? Just put a mannequin where you last seen your bike and call the police that it has not moved for hours. Once police arrives tell them about your bike!

and so on..

[disclaimer: the above is a joke]

Punning is the worst vice, and there's no vice versa.