News: 1657636214

  ARM Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life (Terry Pratchett, Jingo)

NYC issues super upbeat PSA for surviving the nuclear apocalypse

(2022/07/12)


Ever the optimist, New York has reminded its citizens of what they should do in the event of a nuclear attack. And not just any nuclear attack either, but the "big one."

As [1]noted by Bloomberg , the [2]NYC Emergency Management organization , which "helps New Yorkers before, during, and after emergencies through preparedness, education, and response," struck a surprisingly upbeat tone about the imminent destruction of the city in a video published yesterday.

[3]Youtube Video

[4]

Far from recommending that citizens either go to be with the ones they love or head to a great vantage spot with that expensive bottle of whisky you've been saving to watch the end of the world unfold, NYC Emergency Management has a simple three-step plan:

Get inside fast, and don't stay in the car

Stay inside, and shut all doors and windows. Head to a basement if possible. Remove and bag all outer clothing if exposed outdoors

Stay tuned for latest information

Yes, never mind that the electromagnetic pulse would render any nearby electronic communication device utterly useless, just sit tight and wait for information.

The guidelines also to neglect to mention that, depending on your distance from the blast (assuming a direct hit of the "big one" on New York), you are dead. And if not dead, horrendously and fatally injured.

[5]

[6]

If we're talking "big one," the largest nuclear weapon ever tested by the USSR – because, let's be real, Russia is the most likely to push the button right now – was the 100-megaton Tsar Bomba.

[7]TSMC and China: Mutually assured destruction now measured in nanometers, not megatons

[8]Russia, China warn US its cyber support of Ukraine has consequences

[9]Declassified and released: More secret files on US govt's emergency doomsday powers

[10]Palantir summons specter of nuclear conflict as share price collapses

If we input that payload into a [11]simulator (have fun playing with that) and choose surface impact on the center of New York, we're given estimated fatalities of almost 8 million, more than 4 million injuries, and nuclear fallout that could reach as far north as Quebec in Canada (depending which way the wind is blowing). These factors are subject to change if the detonation is an airburst, and change once again depending on the height of detonation.

The actual Tsar Bomba was modified to have its yield halved because it was deemed too destructive for Soviet Russia – but it still obliterated buildings more than 50km from impact.

The terrifying thought is how nuclear weapons may have developed since the Cold War – they could be far more powerful.

[12]

What NYC Emergency Management cheerily glosses over is that if you're in New York and a nuclear bomb hits the city, you don't have a chance in hell. A building is not going to protect you from thermal radiation burns, blindness, ensuing radiation sickness, fallout, and a slow, painful death.

A better job would have been to recommended citizens watch Threads , a 1984 film produced by the BBC which depicts an attack on Britain and its aftermath with harrowing realism. ®

Get our [13]Tech Resources



[1] https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2022-07-12/-the-big-one-has-hit-nyc-releases-psa-video-on-nuclear-attack?srnd=technology-vp#xj4y7vzkg

[2] https://www1.nyc.gov/site/em/index.page

[3] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-5d7V4Sbqk

[4] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/science&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=2&c=2Ys2alxsc0KXf92COGVTFFwAAANY&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D2%26raptor%3Dcondor%26pos%3Dtop%26test%3D0

[5] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/science&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=4&c=44Ys2alxsc0KXf92COGVTFFwAAANY&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D4%26raptor%3Dfalcon%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0

[6] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/science&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=3&c=33Ys2alxsc0KXf92COGVTFFwAAANY&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D3%26raptor%3Deagle%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0

[7] https://www.theregister.com/2022/06/13/column/

[8] https://www.theregister.com/2022/06/10/russia_china_usa_ukraine_cyberdefense/

[9] https://www.theregister.com/2022/05/28/documents_reveal_secretive_government_plans/

[10] https://www.theregister.com/2022/05/10/palantir_share_price_collapses/

[11] https://nuclearsecrecy.com/nukemap/

[12] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/science&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=4&c=44Ys2alxsc0KXf92COGVTFFwAAANY&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D4%26raptor%3Dfalcon%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0

[13] https://whitepapers.theregister.com/



Update

OhForF'

So they finally saw the need for a bit more than [1]duck and cover ?

[1] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWH4tWkZpPU

Standard Operating Procedure upon Encountering a Nuclear Attack at Close Range

Roj Blake

1. Increase core body temperature massively

2. Scatter constituent atoms over a large area

Re: Standard Operating Procedure upon Encountering a Nuclear Attack at Close Range

TimMaher

1) Stick your head between your legs.

2) Kiss your arse goodbye.

After the bomb

Pen-y-gors

I used to work for a large insurance company. We had the usual complicated backup and recovery strategy, part of which was that a monthly(?) copy of the backup tapes of all our databases was sent down to London and put in a very old, very large safe, buried deep in the basement, and said to be immune to nuclear attack.

Given that our IT centre was based near to several likely targets of Soviet nukes, one had to wonder "Why bother?"

And would we really want to pay out on a load of life assurance claims?

Re: After the bomb

lglethal

Oh no, you've misunderstood the reason for keeping all those policies safe. It's so that after the attack, the company can prove that in section 13b(5),of the aforementioned policy, the company does not need to pay out in the event of a nuclear explosion or related catastrophes. And thus all those people (or their surviving kin at least) can go and bugger off.

Hmmm…

Lis

Not sure it would be Russia starting a nuclear war. Pretty sure our very own wannabe Mrs Thatcher, Liz Truss would be in the running.

Ishy

Re: Hmmm…

Yet Another Anonymous coward

State most likely to nuke New York is probably Texas

Dr. G. Freeman

Having a wry smile at the link to Nukemap, while talking about vaporising New York, as the guy who developed it, Alex, is based out of Stevens Tech in Hoboken (Go Ducks !!, spent a great year there as an undergrad) which if the bomb drops on Manhattan, is within the fireball.

No comment on the Stevens cafeteria food being better after nuclear fallout.

Filippo

Would've been even better if narrated by the Vault Boy.

Greybearded old scrote

[1]Yeah. [2]Also. [3]And.

[1] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pJKdTqYijY

[2] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0EtskNKyHA

[3] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frAEmhqdLFs

Why I Can't Go Out With You:

I'd LOVE to, but ...
-- I have to floss my cat.
-- I've dedicated my life to linguini.
-- I need to spend more time with my blender.
-- it wouldn't be fair to the other Beautiful People.
-- it's my night to pet the dog/ferret/goldfish.
-- I'm going downtown to try on some gloves.
-- I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products.
-- I'm going down to the bakery to watch the buns rise.
-- I have an appointment with a cuticle specialist.
-- I have some really hard words to look up.
-- I've got a Friends of the Lowly Rutabaga meeting.
-- I promised to help a friend fold road maps.