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Elvis may have left the building, but Windows remains very much on show

(2022/01/24)


Bork!Bork!Bork! Back by unexpectedly popular demand, Bork takes a vacation to Vegas for an Elvis Presley tribute act.

Register reader Roger was in the audience for one of the final shows in a run of All Shook Up at the Miracle Mile Shops at Planet Hollywood Resort and Casino.

[1]

Click to enlarge

It also being the end of CES, the show served not only as a reminder of The King himself, but also of the inherent fallibility of using technology in any public-facing setting. While the impersonator on stage might have rattled through the likes of Suspicious Minds , Microsoft's finest made an unwanted appearance behind the gyrations of a man in a bejewelled jumpsuit.

"I can't seem to stand on my own two feet" indeed. And as for "acting wild as a bug," well – Windows and bugs go together just like Elvis Presley and a high-cholesterol diet.

[2]Cruel and unusual IT fail upstages Megan Fox. Transformers: Windows in disguise

[3]Windows terminates here. Please remember to finish setting it up on arrival

[4]Mind your Ps and queues: Bork makes a visit to the A&E

[5]Meatballs, Abba, and bork: 3 things Sweden is famous for

"It made us laugh all the way through," said Roger, "as they were trying valiantly to change the screen res/external monitor config."

"We almost wanted to go and help."

Roger and pals did not. They were probably too weary from trudging around CES to assist in the rescue of yet another bit of borked tech. They'd likely seen enough of that already.

[6]

As for the operating system, we reckon that trashcan icon puts us firmly in the era of Windows 7 or Vista. Old, but not as old as the croonings of the King himself. After all, Elvis Presley died in 1977, when Microsoft was barely out of diapers and Windows was not even a twinkle in the eye of Bill Gates.

[7]

Sadly, this particular run of All Shook Up has concluded (although there remain plenty of places where fans of Presley can get their sideburn and jumpsuit fix) but we can't help but be touched by the sight of Windows giving its all in support of the last days of the show.

How so? By being violently ill. It's what The King would have wanted. ®

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[1] https://regmedia.co.uk/2022/01/21/bork_1.jpg

[2] https://www.theregister.com/2021/11/15/bork/

[3] https://www.theregister.com/2021/10/15/bork/

[4] https://www.theregister.com/2021/10/14/bork/

[5] https://www.theregister.com/2021/10/12/bork/

[6] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/bootnotes&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=2&c=2Ye7bUuGDPJcQmX24HpjCXwAAAJM&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D2%26raptor%3Dcondor%26pos%3Dtop%26test%3D0

[7] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/bootnotes&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=4&c=44Ye7bUuGDPJcQmX24HpjCXwAAAJM&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D4%26raptor%3Dfalcon%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0

[8] https://whitepapers.theregister.com/



Red Sceptic

Windows is just sayin’ “Treat me Nice” / “Don’t be Cruel”.

I Don't Think So

Wally Dug

"Elvis Presley died in 1977"

Really? What proof of that do you have? There's a guy works down the chip shop who swears he's Elvis. And also, is he not supposed to be driving a London double-decker bus on the moon (at least according to The Sunday Sport )?

Ah, the good ol' Sport...

Anonymous Coward

He's American. Why would he be driving a London double-decker bus?

He might have taken it to get to the B52 bomber and fly it away, though.

Re: I Don't Think So

Antonius_Prime

"We're on a mission from Glod!" -- Soul Music

GNU TP!

Re: I Don't Think So

b0llchit

Really? What proof of that do you have?

I'd suggest you find yourself a fine shovel and start digging. When you get to the bones, you know the truth.

Such endeavor may take quite a few years to finish from start to bones. In that time, you may find yourself in the same position as the alleged king: dead and no longer aware of death. But that may be a Good Thing TM ... ehm... Dead Thing TM .

Re: I Don't Think So

msobkow

The guy at the chip shop also periodically sticks his hand in his shirt and insists he is Napolean... :P

Re: I Don't Think So

Anonymous Coward

but he's a liar.

Re: I Don't Think So

Wally Dug

And I'm not sure about you.

You are number 6! Who is number one?