When product names go bad: Microsoft's Raymond Chen on the cringe behind WinCE
- Reference: 1639574707
- News link: https://www.theregister.co.uk/2021/12/15/chen_wince/
- Source link:
Fresh from the spanking it had taken over Windows NT, the company was keen to avoid another initialism or backronym incident. After all, according to Chen, NT was sometimes converted to "Nice Try." We recall "Nearly There" and "Not Terrible" doing the rounds, the latter a particular favourite of anyone who'd tried using Microsoft's earlier attempts at a program manager sat atop DOS. That certainly was terrible.
Still, Microsoft had a handheld platform waiting in the wings with a code name of Pegasus. A project manager was tasked with picking a suitable public name for the product. Something that wouldn't be ridiculed. Wouldn't be unintentionally salacious. Something entirely innocuous and inoffensive.
[2]
Marketing firms were hired. Candidates were run through focus groups. In the end 10 possible names were floated past management – who, of course, ignored the lot of them.
[3]
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"The executive in charge of approving the name," wrote Chen, "insisted on the name Windows CE, for no reason other than 'it sounded good.'"
As for what CE actually stood for, who knew? Maybe Compact Edition? Perhaps Consumer Edition? Microsoft's hardware partners were less than impressed than something that sounded suspiciously Compaq-related.
[5]Remember SoftRAM 95? Compression app claimed to double memory in Windows but actually did nothing at all
[6]Remember when Microsoft devs got so excited about Windows 8 features, Twitter thought it was under attack?
[7]The old New: Windows veteran explains that menu item
[8]Retired engineer confesses to role in sliding Microsoft Bob onto millions of XP install CDs
And then the abbreviation team got to work, and WinCE was born. Or wince.
Of course, Microsoft has had its fair share of embarrassing product names, such as Windows Embedded POS. There are those that were swiftly changed; in 2020 Chen [9]revealed that Windows 10 Pro for Workstation was originally called Windows 10 for Advanced PCs. Or, er, FAP. Then again, Chen remarked that the team behind Windows 10 FAP wanted to call itself the Windows Technology Foundation group. WTF indeed.
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Plenty of other companies have come unstuck over naming through the years and there are plenty of true and not-so-true stories, including the [11]urban legend of the Chevy Nova or that time somebody produced a video game called "Vixen" but had to rename it for German markets due to an unfortunate translation.
As for Windows CE, Chen had one more piece of advice to dispense from the product manager's experience: "Do everything you can to prevent upper management from naming your product." ®
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[1] https://devblogs.microsoft.com/oldnewthing/20211214-00/?p=106030
[2] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_software/oses&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=2&c=2YbofTWZ2zFpkonPxHQI@sQAAAAc&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D2%26raptor%3Dcondor%26pos%3Dtop%26test%3D0
[3] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_software/oses&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=4&c=44YbofTWZ2zFpkonPxHQI@sQAAAAc&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D4%26raptor%3Dfalcon%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0
[4] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_software/oses&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=3&c=33YbofTWZ2zFpkonPxHQI@sQAAAAc&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D3%26raptor%3Deagle%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0
[5] https://www.theregister.com/2021/11/15/softram95/
[6] https://www.theregister.com/2021/07/27/chen_windows_8_twitter/
[7] https://www.theregister.com/2021/07/21/windows_new/
[8] https://www.theregister.com/2020/11/25/xp_bob/
[9] https://devblogs.microsoft.com/oldnewthing/20200915-00/?p=104220
[10] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_software/oses&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=4&c=44YbofTWZ2zFpkonPxHQI@sQAAAAc&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D4%26raptor%3Dfalcon%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0
[11] https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/chevrolet-nova-name-spanish/
[12] https://whitepapers.theregister.com/
Re: Then there is the joke about the combined business/home/portable version of
I remember pointing out that MS, Me and XP are all diseases and wondering when Windows VD would be released.
Re: Then there is the joke about the combined business/home/portable version of
Check out its old name - https://azure.microsoft.com/en-gb/services/virtual-desktop/
I swear it was unintentional...
I came up with an initialism for the label on an interface test adapter for implantable cardiac devices that also happened to be the (vulgar) Swedish word for a lady's private parts. AFAIK there are dozens of them still deployed, and the name is proudly displayed in professionally produced labels with 5 cm tall text. A/C so I can't pick the facepalm icon...
Re: I swear it was unintentional...
NASA had a spaceplane project for the ISS called Crew Return Vehicle - CRV. During the prototype phase this would have to have Experimental (X) appended, as per Nasa regulations
Somebody decide that CRV-X was too close to lady parts and the projected had to be hurriedly renamed.
Re: I swear it was unintentional...
Guaranteeing the names you choose are innocuous in every language in the world is hard, and that's why big brands have localized names for some products
The Chevy Nova might be an urban legend, bur there are examples in the auto industry, for one, the Mitsubishi Pajero was renamed Montero for the Spanish markets because driving a "Wanker" might not suit everyone. And in Portugal, the Hyunday Kona was renamed Kauai - "Kunt" might not be very popular among potential buyers - and it may be the reason why Kona bicycles don't sell that much there
My issue is with certain kitchen appliances, I watch too much Red Dwarf and the name is very proudly displayed.
I cant even..., not in my kitchen!
I watch too much Red Dwarf
Is that possible? *
* (disregard season 9)
WTF
Some of us were SO CLOSE to getting IBM to rebrand one of its products as WebSphere Transaction Facility. (And we did know what we were doing.)
Re: WTF
On a related note, I was *this* close to getting IBM to name a proposed cloud-hosted tape archive "Blue Ice".
Unfortunately, IBM Cloud (Softlayer as it then was) backed out of the proposal...
Re: WTF
There was a debugger/in-circuit emulator back in the day called, Neuromancer inspired, BlackICE
I always wondered what it did to you if you made a mistake
Meaning
Windows CE; CE means 'crippled edition'.
I once worked on a concept project for a greenhouse in space. We named it GRASS. (the acronym was something like Greenhouse Aboard Space Station or something, absolutely nothing to do with the alternative name for Marijuana, no, no, no...), however, once we actually started attracting some interest and potential funding, the bosses ordered a name change - and we changed it to something inoffensive and totally non-memorable (so much so, i cant actually remember what it was anymore). It did get its funding and evolved away from space, developed a new name (EDEN), and is actually installed in Antarctica.
Moral of the story, internal names can be as fun as you like, but as soon as it goes external you'll probably have to change it.
Second Moral of the Story, funny names tend to be the most memorable.... ;)
>Moral of the story, internal names can be as fun as you like, but as soon as it goes external you'll probably have to change it.
Movie effects software internal code names based on famous directors.
Namesake of our latest release became famous for a hands-on approach to young talent.
My choice was always to pick project names after famously insane, unreasonable, slave driving, directors.
Vixen
Just some nitpicking: in the 'vixen' case the issue is not a translation but a homonym in the German language, which is the indicative form of an indecent verb.
Re: Vixen
And for completeness, the word in question has cognates in the Nordic languages, and of course in English as the F in WTF.
Re: Vixen
But I thought our English "F" word originally came from a German word for breeding horses. No?
I wish I had taken a picture of the giant billboard announcing "Nothing Sucks Like An Electrolux"
(https://adland.tv/content/nothing-sucks-ad-myth ... the myth being that the Swedish parent co didn't understand that it was a Brit joke)
Could have been worse...
In a previous existense, some wag suggested we be rebranded after a buy-out.
Cards Loans IT.
Hiya ex Colleagues as this is damn obvious ;)
The BASTARD system
My boss tried to get our new system named the B uy-sell A nd S ell-buy T ransaction A nd R eporting D atabase, so that support calls would be along the lines of "The BASTARD system's gone down again!" :-)
Someone higher up with no sense of humour nixed the idea :-(
Re: The BASTARD system
One that did make it was Active Roles Server for managing AD. Shortening it you get ARS, but every technician at my previous place of work simply called it Arse. And of course the common queries between technicians of "I can't find this user in my arse", "Is your arse working?", "Arse seems to be f*cked" etc.
We also had a programmer there that wrote a simple user-data backup tool called "Back-Up My Stuff". Albeit it was deliberate, and as a personal tool, BUMS never attracted sufficient attention higher-up for anyone boring to complain about the name.
Surely everybody has heard the story that Windows NT was so called because it was one letter further on in the alphabet from VMS. Of course you have to be pretty old these days to understand the reference.
And even older to know that the joke originated with HAL
Then there is the joke about the combined business/home/portable version of the operating system...
Windows CEMeNT