Malebolge.

As the eighth circle of hell, the point of division between the violent and the fraudulent.

Dorothy L. Sayers writes that the Malebolge is "the image of the City in corruption: the progressive disintegration of every social relationship, personal and public. Sexuality, ecclesiastical and civil office, language, ownership, counsel, authority, psychic influence, and material interdependence – all the media of the community's interchange are perverted and falsified"

I read that as "male bulge", which seems equally apt.

Whatever name marketing could come up with will undoubtedly be rendered by Zuck into something easy that he can understand. His wife (Priscilla) is commonly referred to as 'wife' while the dog is just called 'beast'. Facebook will probably just be called "corporation" or "work" but at an extreme could be called ZuckCorp after his inspiration LexCorp.

Like most organisations facing a constant onslaught of problems, it needs a new CEO. Ideally one that isn’t a massive c**t like this one.

Are you suggesting Pantyliner as the new name then?

It doesn't need a new CEO. It needs to be liquidated and its global assets distributed to various good social causes.

As for Zuck and the board of directors... Chain Gang? They could start by fixing the potholes on the A34.

@cyberdemon

What about the employees? About 150,000 of them. How would they pay their bill, mortgage/rent e.t.c.? From what I have read, it seems pay and conditions are pretty good.

"What about the employees?"

As a Silly Con Valley native, the most common suggestion I've heard is that they all just go home. Same for Alphagoo, et ali. We never asked for them, they just showed up and started trashing the place while driving up prices. Worst thing that ever happened around here.

Zuck can't be a c**t. He has neither enough depth or warmth.

He's tall, skinny and rather stiff, so if not c*nt, perhaps pr*ck?

Hell

It even gets a reference to the Circle in there. Nine of them. And it nicely describes what social media is doing to peoples lives.

@45RPM

No, it is what people are doing with social media that may or may not ruin their lives. Please don't tell me that people get "addicted" to social media.That's just a "catch all" used as another way of spelling "it's someone else''s fault". I use social media. Save a fortune in phone bills. Means I get my 'net connection effectively for free. My books see that as a win!

Facebook has done research into the best way to keep people scrolling down, to keep seeing more adverts. If that is not fostering addiction, I don't know what is.

El Zuck is basically a child in adults clothing that refuses to accept responsibility for his actions; the positive side of things is that this will in turn become his downfall.

I wouldn't give him so much credit.

He knows people think of him as a child in adult's clothing so he puts on that persona to try to evade responsibility, but he is an adult, and one who is as evil and power-mad as the rest of the hundred-billion club.

SPECTRE seems to be a favourite from the Reg choices, I can't remember the original wirds for the acronym but this seems to fit:

Stealing

People's

Every

Communication

To

Render

Evil

As mentioned above a change of boss would help immensely, a change of existence would be even better

That's brilliant.

My best was:

Computerised

Reality

Elimination

Extraordinarily

Petrifying

@Chris G - "SPECTRE seems to be a favourite from the Reg choices"

I was going to go for SPECTRE, but then it seemed too European, Cyberdyne captures the Yankee vibe better.

Your acronym is making me reconsider...

From memory:

SPecial

Executive

for

Counter-intelligence,

Terrorism,

Revenge

&

Extortion

Seems fitting to be quite frank.

This whole Metaverse crap reminds me of Red Dwarf, although with tedious prediction I suspect it will be substantially Worse than Life.

It will just be Second Life but with better graphics and less privacy.

Worse than Death?

I think he just watched "Ready Player One"

I was thinking in the lines of "social cancer", or something similar, or is that a bit too much?

No. If anything, it doesn't go far enough to really describe the damage Facebook causes.

Or similar...

Find and Replace Z with F... That is all!

Simple, recognisable and on-brand. Only 2 letters from the original.

Cleggy, you can have that one on me.

Along the same lines of only 2 letters for a similar "Social" media site..

Shitter, Twisted, Twatter...

Twatter gets my vote.

There used to be an actual parody site called Twatter.com, calling itself the Anti-Social Network, but it soon folded as Twitter itself became the open sewer of hate that it is now.

There are some still around though e.g. http://www.twat.me.uk/

obivously ....

to go with El Reg's theme..

It should be called Mos Eisley, on account of it being a wretched hive of scum and villainy.

You win. I wish I could more than one thumbs up it.

I'd have done with Bene Tleilax.

They can't use pwned 'cos it is already in common use but by replacing the 1st character (as in pwned) to a non-alpha they follow in the footsteps of Yahoo! Bing! etc but remain sufficiently different by having the mark at the beginning instead of the end.

Besides, FarceCrook is too obvious.

Obviously Facebook would be top of the list, but what would the other two be?

Amazon, Microsoft (would be my choice)

But that leaves Google, Apple, Intel, the Communist Party of China.. :(

Dr. Evils empire.

I bet zuck has a Mr. Bigglesworth too.

Based on the current company i would suggest the board isn't dissimilar to Dr. Evils various henchmen, sorry, that wasn't PC enough, hench'various entities of inteterminate genders (72 gender types or some such on fakebook now), rocks, trees, a pot of pentunias currently speeding towards the earth wondering whether "they" will be its friend or whatever'

" Apparently Zuck wants to create an umbrella brand – a bit like Google did when it created Alphabet as its parent company "

Restructuring is expensive so I may be wrong, but I have a suspicion that creating your own parent company has some potential fiddle advantage. I'd love to know whether I'm right and if so what the advantage is.

That's It!

Umbrella Corporation.

Ubik.

With apologies to Philip K Dick.

I'm sure we will find colorful alternatives here in El Reg Forums...

Sure will do!

[1]Visitor Corp too obvious? Too obscure?

[1] https://v.fandom.com/wiki/The_Visitors

Are you serious? There are some commenters on here that apparently can't even spell the word "fuck" correctly. BOMBASTIC BOB is probably the best hope for some original thoughts on this matter.

Panopticon

It reaches everywhere, and like the many-headed monster of myth, any time a legislator or whistleblower cuts off one of its heads two more seem to grow to replace it so they should call their new organisation Hydra. I understand that there's even a comic-book connection in there.

I suggest "Jonestown"

Has a nice ring to it.

Refreshment anyone?

Hopefully Neil Stephenson owns that.

uSewer

TimeZuck

Schizm

Polarize

Monochrome

Purgatory

Virus

Pissole

Shittole

They'll call it Honeypot.