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  ARM Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life (Terry Pratchett, Jingo)

The unit of measure for fatbergs is not hippopotami, even if the operator of an Australian sewer says so

(2021/09/02)


An Australian drainage company has made a valiant effort to define a new standard for weights; in this specific case they're measuring sewer fatbergs in hippopotami.

Australia's Broadcasting Corporation reported that Urban Utilities of Queensland was recently complaining about rubbish blocking its sewers. Fair enough; the utility firm reckoned it was costing them around AU$1m a year to clear the fatbergs.

"We attend to about 4,000 blockages in the sewage network per year, costing us an additional maintenance cost of about $1 million per annum," the company's lead for Environmental Solutions Colin Hester [1]told the ABC. "There's no nationally agreed standard between makers, retailers and utilities," he added, seemingly referring to products that really shouldn't be flushed down the bog but which retailers label as "flushable" anyway.

[2]

Except… except, dear Colin, except. Further down the ABC article was this sentence:

According to Urban Utilities, every year 120 tonnes of wipes, the equivalent in weight of 34 hippopotami, is removed from the network.

A little light arithmetic tells us each hippo Urban Utilities refers to weighs about 3½ tonnes (3,500kg) – we'll return to that figure. As Register readers know, hippopotami are not an approved measure of weight.

Referring to the only official standard for non-standard weights and measures, as [3]established by The Register 's Standards Soviet in times immemorial , we learn that the approved measures of weight are the adult badger; the Great White Shark; the Skateboarding Rhinoceri (plural); Australian trams, and for those really outrageously large sums, units of the Las Vegas LINQ Hotel's annual quantity of recycling.

[4]

[5]

None of these measures correspond to hippos. The skateboarding rhino is the nearest thing we've got here… but about that.

[6]Aw, bad day at your air-conditioned, somewhat clean desk? Try shifting a 40-tonne fatberg

[7]Dark Fibre: Reg man plunges into London's sewers to see how pipe is laid

[8]Reg Standards Bureau introduces the Devon fatberg as coastal town menaced by oily blob

[9]The 'DUP' joins El Reg’s illustrious online standards converter

How much does a hippo actually weigh? Estimates, like recollections of key historical events, vary. National Geographic [10]pegs it at between 1.5 and 4 tons (that's US tons*), and the upper end of that scale comes out at about 4.08 Great White Sharks which is in the same ballpark as United Utilities' figure. The world's most famous US-owned reference publication, the [11]Encyclopaedia Britannica , pegs it at exactly 2.13 skateboarding rhinoceri which is also a perfect match for Urban Utilities' figures.

Bravo to them – but nul points for the choice of unit. ®

* roughly equivalent to 1.3-3.6 tonnes

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[1] https://www.abc.net.au/news/2021-08-31/qld-standard-fatbergs-clogging-sewerage-network/100418350

[2] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/bootnotes&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=2&c=2YTD1QHwwlKkJBIhczPZWkwAAAEY&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D2%26raptor%3Dcondor%26pos%3Dtop%26test%3D0

[3] https://www.theregister.com/Design/page/reg-standards-converter.html

[4] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/bootnotes&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=4&c=44YTD1QHwwlKkJBIhczPZWkwAAAEY&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D4%26raptor%3Dfalcon%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0

[5] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/bootnotes&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=3&c=33YTD1QHwwlKkJBIhczPZWkwAAAEY&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D3%26raptor%3Deagle%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0

[6] https://www.theregister.com/2019/10/29/thames_water_40_tonne_fatberg/

[7] https://www.theregister.com/2015/01/26/feature_zayo_fibre_network_in_london_sewers/

[8] https://www.theregister.com/2019/01/08/reg_standards_bureau_introduces_the_devon_fatberg/

[9] https://www.theregister.com/2017/06/27/dup_one_billion_standards/

[10] https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/mammals/facts/hippopotamus

[11] https://www.britannica.com/animal/hippopotamus-mammal-species

[12] https://whitepapers.theregister.com/



Pural

Ochib

According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the plural of Hippopotamus is Hippopotamuses (see also Octopus and Octopuses)

Re: Pural

Dr Scrum Master

Aren't hippopotamuses the inspiration for writers to write about horses and rivers?

Re: Pural

My-Handle

Ah, the joys of rendering ancient Greek words in a (nominally) Latin structured language. Does one keep the pluralisation associated with the original word, or with the language system it is used in?

My personal preference is: if people understand you, how much does it matter?

Re: Pural

J27

English is Germanic language, if you want a Latin language you need see French, Spanish, Italian, etc.

Re: Pural

TangoDelta72

But I do* not verbs at the end of my sentences put!

* - "do" is a modal, or "helping" verb, so it's ok up front. :-)

Re: Pural

My-Handle

If I remember correctly, it's a merge of Norman (Latin / French) and Saxon (Germanic). Following the Norman invasion, Norman was the language used by the nobility and the commoners used Saxon. When English was codified as a language later on, Saxon words were effectively crammed into the Norman (Latin) grammar system. It shows in a few odd ways, e.g. the plural of "Child" being "Children" rather than "Childs" (pluralisation largely being picked based on which word sounded better).

It also doesn't help that English is one of the most fluid languages on the planet, with words and terms being borrowed from other languages at any opportunity. Examples include French ("Je ne se quoi", "C'est la vie"), Indian ("Bungalow"), Japanese ("Karaoke"). Hell, even "Tamagotchi" ended up in the dictionary.

Re: Pural

thosrtanner

Clearly the writers of the OED have no respect for Fanders and Swann. Everyone of culture knows you need a regular army of hippopotami for singing 'Mud, mud, glorious mud'

Re: Pural

2+2=5

> Clearly the writers of the OED have no respect for Fanders and Swann

Ahem, F l anders & Swann

Re: Pural

thosrtanner

yeah, by the time i realised that it was beyond editing :-(

'Pural'

diodesign

Yeah but it sounds funny. I dunno if you've noticed but we tend to torture the language around here sometimes.

C.

Re: Pural [sic]

Irony Deficient

According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the plural of Hippopotamus is Hippopotamuses (see also Octopus and Octopuses)

The entry for “hippopotamus” in my copy of the OED begins

hippopotamus (hɪpəʊˈpɒtəməs). Pl. -muses, -mi.

reflecting the use of either “hippopotamuses” or “hippopotami” in English.

Its entry for “octopus” begins

octopus (ˈɒktəpəs, ɒkˈtəʊpəs). Pl. octopodes (ɒkˈtəʊpədiːz), anglicized octopuses.

reflecting the use of either “octopodes” or “octopuses” in English.

Re: Pural [sic]

logicalextreme

Yeah, I was gonna say — I'd personally pluralise it "hippopotamodes" just as a (in my bored mind, anyway) ribald dig at the sort of person that would genuinely use "octopodes" on a day-to-day basis :)

jollyboyspecial

How much is that in London buses?

Hold on though if you think the plural of hippopotamus is hippopotami doesn't that mean the plural of London bus is London bi?

The plural of "bus"

rafff

What is this that roareth thus?

Can it be a Motor Bus?

Yes, the smell and hideous hum

Indicat Motorem Bum!

Implet in the Corn and High

Terror me Motoris Bi:

Bo Motori clamitabo

Ne Motore caedar a Bo---

Dative be or Ablative

So thou only let us live:---

Whither shall thy victims flee?

Spare us, spare us, Motor Be!

Thus I sang; and still anigh

Came in hordes Motores Bi,

Et complebat omne forum

Copia Motorum Borum.

How shall wretches live like us

Cincti Bis Motoribus?

Domine, defende nos

Contra hos Motores Bos!

--Alfred Denis Godley

katrinab

No, because "bus" is an abbreviation of "omnibus", which is already plural.

Skiron

Omninbus is singular - omnibuses is plural.

katrinab

Omnis is singular, omnibus is plural

omnibus

Irony Deficient

The Latin plural declension depends upon the case: omnes for the nominative, accusative, and vocative; omnibus for the dative and ablative; and omnium for the genitive. The English word “omnibus” came from the Latin dative plural (“for all”) via French; the French plural of omnibus is omnibus .

Ochib

Omnibus is derived from Latin and means "to, for, by, with or from everything". ...

How much is that in London buses?

Anonymous Coward

Big, six-wheeler, scarlet painted ones?

/ob F&S

Skiron

Come on, this is Australian - surely these should be measured in 'tinnies', no?

Chris G

That begs the question; how many tinnies in a roo and how many roo's in a croc?

My-Handle

I suspect the answer to the second is strongly reliant on the answer to the first. Also, how close the roo(s) staggered towards the river having consumed the contents of said tinnies :D

That's nothing!

pardo_bsso

North Americans are known to use washing machines as a unit of measure sometimes.

Re: That's nothing!

Joe W

weigth or volume?

Re: That's nothing!

Skiron

Well, they did have an 'Murrican footballer called 'the refrigerator', but I never did find out if that was weight or volume?

Re: That's nothing!

Anonymous Coward

I think this was referring to his inertia.

Re: That's nothing!

theDeathOfRats

And would those be laden or unladen North American washing machines?

Skateboarding Rhinoceri?????

Eclectic Man

I must have missed that event at the Tokyo Olympics. Who won?

("2.13 skateboarding rhinoceri" in the article.)

BTW: RE: Plurals

I understand that an acceptable plural of Octopus is Octopodes. But then the Register Weights and Measures Soviet has also decreed that the Plura of "box" is "boxen" (presumably as the plural of "Ox" is "Oxen"), so what do I know?

Another opportunity for the soviet?

disgruntled yank

Maybe The Register's standards soviet should extend its work to disputed plurals. I'd be willing to honor a ruling that the plural of hippopotamus is hippopotamice or hippopotameese, at least if I were commenting here.

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