Elevating bork to a new level (if the touchscreen worked)
- Reference: 1628760423
- News link: https://www.theregister.co.uk/2021/08/12/bork/
- Source link:
Register reader Rob Dyke spotted today's example of messages you don't want to see in an elevator while traversing the floors of London's Walkie Talkie building (or 20 Fenchurch Street).
The structure, nicknamed "Walkie Talkie" on account of its curious appearance (sounds better than "Projector Of The Death Ray"), has 34 floors of office space and is topped off with eateries and a watering hole above.
[1]
Click to enlarge
There's no word on whether Dyke was heading for a well-earned beverage at the top. Certainly, if we'd seen this error on the elevator screen, a stiff drink would have been second most on our minds after wondering how it is that a touchscreen is needed to operate machinery like this.
[2]Come fly with me. But first we need to find a boot device
[3]Never Knowingly Underborked: Double trouble at Southampton's John Lewis
[4]Steam-powered computers: Retro cool or old and busted?
[5]The cockroach of Windows, XP, lives on in London's Victoria Coach Station
While we might be befuddled by printers that now insist on making a clean shutdown (and displaying a terse message on startup if the power is rudely yanked) or computer games that seem to require patching on a daily basis compared to the Atari VCS cartridges of old, we'd have to say the benefits of dispensing with buttons in favour of a touchscreen are marginal at best.
The words "Temporary Network Problem..." scream "You Had ONE Job" to us. Presumably the clever control panel can detect the card issued to the user and ensure only the relevant floors are selectable. Assuming the network is present.
[6]
As for why the network is not available, well – hopefully nobody cut the wrong cable (and let's face it – the words "cut", "cable", and "elevator" are rarely happy bedfellows). But at least the problem is temporary.
[7]
Unlike the Walkie Talkie building itself, which was the recipient of [8]Building Design's Carbuncle Cup in 2015 and looks set to squat on the London skyline for a good few years to come. ®
Get our [9]Tech Resources
[1] https://regmedia.co.uk/2021/08/11/bork_3.jpg
[2] https://www.theregister.com/2021/08/11/bork/
[3] https://www.theregister.com/2021/08/10/bork/
[4] https://www.theregister.com/2021/07/27/bork/
[5] https://www.theregister.com/2021/07/26/bork/
[6] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/bootnotes&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=2&c=2YRTxXK9Qth@KCNlvtA-OHQAAAM8&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D2%26raptor%3Dcondor%26pos%3Dtop%26test%3D0
[7] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/bootnotes&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=4&c=44YRTxXK9Qth@KCNlvtA-OHQAAAM8&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D4%26raptor%3Dfalcon%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0
[8] https://www.bdonline.co.uk/buildings/carbuncle-cup-2015-winner-announced/5077354.article
[9] https://whitepapers.theregister.com/
Not forgetting the ones which hide in the basement.
I'm pretty sure that I've already seen button-operated elevators that are quite efficient in managing the wait time before the user gets to go in.
A touchscreen, by itself, is not going to enhance anything. It's the software behind that does all the work, and the software doesn't care if the button is physical or not.
Network missing AI
The system was cut off to the controlling AI. Next step is to have a wireless connection? We are so close to make [1]the lift a reality. Probably people will need to get killed before we can go back to a simple button.
Alternatively, a wealth of questions will be shown on the screen before enabling the button-screen like: Would you like to move up/down with me? (y/N). What about going sideways? (n/Y). Should a meal be ready at your destination? (Y/n). Do you like the floor you are traveling to? (Y/n). May we offer a gift for your destination? (Amazon/WallMart/Local). Simply traveling to a floor is just sooo boring and unprofitable... where is the shareholder value in that?
[1] https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087622/
...after wondering how it is that a touchscreen is needed to operate machinery like this.
Modern elevators have such screens so you select your floor before getting in. After selecting your destination, the system will tell you which elevator to take.
This allows for more optimal travel as the system can group similar journeys together thus reducing all that tedious waiting around, making small talk that we have all had to endure thus far.
The alternative is elevators that are afraid of the future and don't like going up under stressful conditions such as when the building is being attacked, for example.