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  ARM Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life (Terry Pratchett, Jingo)

Come fly with me. But first we need to find a boot device

(2021/08/11)


Bork!Bork!Bork! We're all a bit jittery about travel as things in the UK open up. Paperwork is needed and there's always that worry that a surprise visit to one of Her Majesty's Hotels might be needed. Still, at least you aren't the person responsible for today's instalment of signage silage.

Today's example of the breed was sighted in the UK's Stansted airport Terminal B, beside Gate B31. Register reader Colin Carruthers was behind the camera, and remarked "'Crash' and 'Airport' are not always the most welcome words in the same sentence."

Quite, so we'll go for a Bork in the Boarding Area.

[1]

Stansted, or "London Stansted" as it is often called, is located quite some distance from London and serves as a hub for the likes of budget airline, Ryanair. Indeed, the same person that sold the location as "London" was probably cut from the same cloth as whoever flogged the airport an iffy screen as the latest and greatest in digital signage.

[2]

Click to enlarge

The error looks like something might be amiss with the network. The code hints that something was received from perhaps a DHCP server, but that there was no sensible boot filename. Alternatively, the sign restarted and simply couldn't find a bootable device.

We've all been there, although most of us have had a keyboard to hand. Sadly for this sign, there is nobody to jab a key. Indeed, aside from our reader, the gate looks almost deserted; the rush for seats that we remember from the before-times replaced with empty spaces.

[3]

If it weren't for the photographic evidence, we'd get a bit philosophical about it all; if there is nobody to see the Intel Boot Agent doing a whoopsie, could it be said a bork happened at all?

Of course it has. As airports shudder back to life it is somehow comforting to know that, as well as overpriced coffee and sandwiches, bork is patiently waiting for the return of travellers. ®

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[1] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/columnists&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=2&c=2YRP0NDgWqjzWbQ3A6hoR8gAAAAA&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D2%26raptor%3Dcondor%26pos%3Dtop%26test%3D0

[2] https://regmedia.co.uk/2021/08/10/bork_2.jpg

[3] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/columnists&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=4&c=44YRP0NDgWqjzWbQ3A6hoR8gAAAAA&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D4%26raptor%3Dfalcon%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0

[4] https://whitepapers.theregister.com/



Anonymous Coward

Stansted is about 1hr 15min from "The City"

...so is Heathrow. So if you think it's an affront to call Stansted "London Stansted" then perhaps we should rename Heathrow as well.

Anonymous Coward

20 mins to paddington on the tube from liverpool street. 15 minutes on the paddy express.

add in a 5 minute transfer

That's 40 mins

Anonymous Coward

Good for you, but it we're starting from Liverpool St that also makes the Stansted journey shorter too.

Plus you forgot the 15 minute walk from the station to the terminal at Heathrow (or the 20-25 minutes if you're going to T4 or T5), whereas Stansted has the station in the basement.

Anyway, the point I was making was that people act like Stansted is two hours away from London and Heathrow is just a couple of minutes, but the difference isn't as great as people think it is.

tip pc

Heathrow is actually in a London borough, Longford TW6.

Stansted definitely is not a London borough

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Longford,_London

Pascal Monett

Administrative definitions have nothing to do with distance.

Peter Mount

About the same as "London Ashford Airport" which is actually located just outside Lydd on the Kent coast... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lydd_Airport

TRT

Pff! I hear the same arguments about Harry Potter London Experience - it's in Watford, not London. Disneyland Paris? 20 miles away. I've no idea what sized cell constitutes a unit of geographical / topological awareness... I expect it varies from culture to culture. Do we need a reg unit, perhaps?

Disneyland Paris

Xalran

Well Disneyland Paris was originally called Euro Disney, it changed name a few years after opening.

Bogga

Is Heathrow in Greater London - yes

Is Luton/Stansted/Gatwick - No

Gene Cash

This is the same situation as "Orlando/Melbourne International Airport" and "Orlando/Sanford International Airport" which are 1hr 10min and 45min away respectively.

Orlando finally got the high powered lawyers involved, and now it's Melbourne Orlando International Airport, which is slightly better.

I've had a dozen people ask for rides, and then get a rude shock at the price of an Uber or taxi.

Sentient Urinals?

Michael H.F. Wilkinson

I stood and wondered why the urinal in the motorway service station in Germany needed to reboot Android.

More cryptically, another such urinal had the message "Slave cannot connect to master ... Retrying"

Next up, urinals with the GPP feature, or defocused temporal perception, causing them to start sulking in basements

Re: Sentient Urinals?

MiguelC

was the urinal called Marvin, perchance? being pissed on all the time would make for a really depressed Android...

Could be worse...

Stu J

The company I worked for commissioned hundreds of displays in a US airport about 10 years ago. Unfortunately someone forgot to update the commissioning instructions to confirm that the "AC Power Failure" behaviour was correctly set in the BIOS to "Power On", and a bug in the BIOS meant that it forgot the previous power state.

When the airport power failed for no more than 15 mins, a small group of panicked 1st line guys had to scurry round the airport with step ladders and scissor lifts to poke the Power button on every single display controller... And then go round them all at night with a USB keyboard and change the BIOS settings to ensure they always powered back on after a power failure!

Some people around here wouldn't recognize subtlety if it hit them on the head.