Anyone fancy a Snowmobile full of Bags O'Crap? It'll be on the list somewhere
(2021/07/23)
- Reference: 1627056128
- News link: https://www.theregister.co.uk/2021/07/23/amazon_trademark_list/
- Source link:
Recently, a Reg reader* contacted us at Vulture (virtual) Towers with something odd they'd found online – a page tucked away in the little-visited “Legal Policies” section of Amazon's website containing a "non-exhaustive" list of all the trademarks held by the company.
The list [1]is massive : 821 trademarks, sorted alphabetically and listed entirely free of context or explanation.
On first glance, the contents can be baffling, or will induce flights of fancy as to their purpose. When simply plucked out of a list of plain-text words, the purpose of, say, "6PM", "BAG O'CRAP" or "MAD DOGS" are difficult to discern.
[2]
Is Jeff Bezos attempting to trademark hours? Is there an Amazon time-dilation project underway in a secret underground lab somewhere, working towards a future in which the streamlined, [3]space-skimming billionaire and [4]former CEO can reset the day every time it gets to 6pm in order to get two or more day's work out of every warehouse worker for only one day's pay?
[5]
[6]
While we at The Register cannot definitely confirm that isn't happening, the reality is slightly more prosaic, as these things usually are. [7]6PM.com is a discount online shoe and clothing store specialising in end-of-line clearances, which Amazon acquired in 2009 when it [8]took over Zappos.com .
A Bag O'Crap is [9]a collection of random items sold for $10 on Woot.com, [10]a retailer Amazon bought in 2010 that mainly operates a strange one-product-per-day model.
[11]
Mad Dogs , on the other hand, is the title of [12]an Amazon Prime series . Indeed, Amazon Prime is the source of a lot of names and phrases on the list that might be baffling to those who do not have access to the service. Anyone wondering why Amazon would need to trademark [13]Four More Shots Please or [14]Danger and Eggs need also look no further.
[15]You're not imagining it. Amazon and AWS want to hire all your friends, enemies, and everyone in between
[16]How Amazon broke free from Oracle
[17]Amazon Lumberyard is dead, long live the permissively licensed Open 3D Engine
[18]New mystery AWS product 'Infinidash' goes viral — despite being entirely fictional
"SIGMUND AND THE SEA MONSTERS" sounds like a promising psychedelic indie band, probably from Liverpool, that I might have seen at a gig in Camden in the late 1990s or early 2000s. But that sadly [19]turns out to be a Prime series as well .
The endless series of random terms also throws up some Amazon projects we had almost forgotten about, like [20]its controversial Mechanical Turk labour crowdsourcing platform .
When we asked Amazon about the list, they were cheerfully upfront about it. It's always been there, they said. It's no secret and they “maintain a public list of trademarks to inform others about our brands”. Although clearly only to show they exist, rather than actually explain what they're for.
One trade name you might actually recognise is Snowmobile - both as a standalone trademark and as "AWS Snowmobile". Unsportingly, the standalone one, rather than being a plan for Amazon to create a new market for electrically powered leisure vehicles for arctic climates, as we wildly speculated – was simply support for the trademark of the [21]AWS product where companies transfer exabyte-sized quantities of data into Amazon's cloud using truck-mounted 45-foot containers full of ones and zeroes. Which, when you think about it, is actually pretty cool. Perhaps they could market it as "TRUCK O'DATA" alongside Woot's "BAG O'CRAP"? [See below].
[22]
[23]Youtube Video
The list doesn't cover all of Amazon and Bezos's ventures. It contains nothing related to [24]Blue Origin , Jeff Bezos's personal rocket and space tourism company, for example. But the fact all of these businesses and projects are still housed together under one metaphorical roof does confirm what a vast enterprise Amazon has become. Rather than hive different parts of the business off, separate them with Chinese walls or create different autonomous divisions, from the outside Amazon remains one colossal, indivisible entity.
For better or [25]worse . ®
* Hat tip to Register reader Michelle for the tip off.
Get our [26]Tech Resources
[1] https://www.amazon.com/gp/help/customer/display.html/?nodeId=200738910
[2] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/bootnotes&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=2&c=2YPs7-qNPwYYeeG8pI@PAdAAAAIA&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D2%26raptor%3Dcondor%26pos%3Dtop%26test%3D0
[3] https://www.theregister.com/2021/07/20/new_shepard_crewed_flight/
[4] https://www.theregister.com/2021/03/24/adam_selipsky_new_aws_ceo/
[5] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/bootnotes&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=4&c=44YPs7-qNPwYYeeG8pI@PAdAAAAIA&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D4%26raptor%3Dfalcon%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0
[6] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/bootnotes&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=3&c=33YPs7-qNPwYYeeG8pI@PAdAAAAIA&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D3%26raptor%3Deagle%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0
[7] https://www.6pm.com/
[8] https://www.theregister.com/2009/07/22/amazon_acquires_zappos/
[9] https://www.woot.com/offers/bag-o-crap-8
[10] https://www.theregister.com/2010/07/01/amazon_buys_woot/
[11] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/bootnotes&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=4&c=44YPs7-qNPwYYeeG8pI@PAdAAAAIA&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D4%26raptor%3Dfalcon%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0
[12] https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mad-Dogs-Season-1/dp/B00FZA6NK6
[13] https://www.amazon.co.uk/Ambitious-Prude-Feminist-Slut/dp/B0875YV6CB/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=four+more+shots+please&qid=1627043401&s=instant-video&sr=1-1
[14] https://www.amazon.co.uk/Tube-of-Pain-Broccoli/dp/B086HX46L8/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=danger+and+eggs&qid=1627043491&s=instant-video&sr=1-1
[15] https://www.theregister.com/2021/07/21/amazon_aws_recruitment/
[16] https://www.theregister.com/2021/07/20/how_amazon_broke_free_from_oracle/
[17] https://www.theregister.com/2021/07/07/open_3d_engine/
[18] https://www.theregister.com/2021/07/05/infinidash/
[19] https://www.amazon.co.uk/Dibs/dp/B086VXTR49/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=sigmund+and+the+sea&qid=1627043547&s=instant-video&sr=1-1
[20] https://www.theregister.com/2018/09/08/election_spending_ai/
[21] https://www.theregister.com/2016/11/30/amazon_to_personalize_vm_offerings/
[22] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/bootnotes&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=3&c=33YPs7-qNPwYYeeG8pI@PAdAAAAIA&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D3%26raptor%3Deagle%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0
[23] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vQmTZTq7nw
[24] https://www.theregister.com/2021/07/20/new_shepard_crewed_flight/
[25] https://www.theregister.com/2021/06/02/amazon_warehouse_workers/
[26] https://whitepapers.theregister.com/
The list [1]is massive : 821 trademarks, sorted alphabetically and listed entirely free of context or explanation.
On first glance, the contents can be baffling, or will induce flights of fancy as to their purpose. When simply plucked out of a list of plain-text words, the purpose of, say, "6PM", "BAG O'CRAP" or "MAD DOGS" are difficult to discern.
[2]
Is Jeff Bezos attempting to trademark hours? Is there an Amazon time-dilation project underway in a secret underground lab somewhere, working towards a future in which the streamlined, [3]space-skimming billionaire and [4]former CEO can reset the day every time it gets to 6pm in order to get two or more day's work out of every warehouse worker for only one day's pay?
[5]
[6]
While we at The Register cannot definitely confirm that isn't happening, the reality is slightly more prosaic, as these things usually are. [7]6PM.com is a discount online shoe and clothing store specialising in end-of-line clearances, which Amazon acquired in 2009 when it [8]took over Zappos.com .
A Bag O'Crap is [9]a collection of random items sold for $10 on Woot.com, [10]a retailer Amazon bought in 2010 that mainly operates a strange one-product-per-day model.
[11]
Mad Dogs , on the other hand, is the title of [12]an Amazon Prime series . Indeed, Amazon Prime is the source of a lot of names and phrases on the list that might be baffling to those who do not have access to the service. Anyone wondering why Amazon would need to trademark [13]Four More Shots Please or [14]Danger and Eggs need also look no further.
[15]You're not imagining it. Amazon and AWS want to hire all your friends, enemies, and everyone in between
[16]How Amazon broke free from Oracle
[17]Amazon Lumberyard is dead, long live the permissively licensed Open 3D Engine
[18]New mystery AWS product 'Infinidash' goes viral — despite being entirely fictional
"SIGMUND AND THE SEA MONSTERS" sounds like a promising psychedelic indie band, probably from Liverpool, that I might have seen at a gig in Camden in the late 1990s or early 2000s. But that sadly [19]turns out to be a Prime series as well .
The endless series of random terms also throws up some Amazon projects we had almost forgotten about, like [20]its controversial Mechanical Turk labour crowdsourcing platform .
When we asked Amazon about the list, they were cheerfully upfront about it. It's always been there, they said. It's no secret and they “maintain a public list of trademarks to inform others about our brands”. Although clearly only to show they exist, rather than actually explain what they're for.
One trade name you might actually recognise is Snowmobile - both as a standalone trademark and as "AWS Snowmobile". Unsportingly, the standalone one, rather than being a plan for Amazon to create a new market for electrically powered leisure vehicles for arctic climates, as we wildly speculated – was simply support for the trademark of the [21]AWS product where companies transfer exabyte-sized quantities of data into Amazon's cloud using truck-mounted 45-foot containers full of ones and zeroes. Which, when you think about it, is actually pretty cool. Perhaps they could market it as "TRUCK O'DATA" alongside Woot's "BAG O'CRAP"? [See below].
[22]
[23]Youtube Video
The list doesn't cover all of Amazon and Bezos's ventures. It contains nothing related to [24]Blue Origin , Jeff Bezos's personal rocket and space tourism company, for example. But the fact all of these businesses and projects are still housed together under one metaphorical roof does confirm what a vast enterprise Amazon has become. Rather than hive different parts of the business off, separate them with Chinese walls or create different autonomous divisions, from the outside Amazon remains one colossal, indivisible entity.
For better or [25]worse . ®
* Hat tip to Register reader Michelle for the tip off.
Get our [26]Tech Resources
[1] https://www.amazon.com/gp/help/customer/display.html/?nodeId=200738910
[2] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/bootnotes&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=2&c=2YPs7-qNPwYYeeG8pI@PAdAAAAIA&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D2%26raptor%3Dcondor%26pos%3Dtop%26test%3D0
[3] https://www.theregister.com/2021/07/20/new_shepard_crewed_flight/
[4] https://www.theregister.com/2021/03/24/adam_selipsky_new_aws_ceo/
[5] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/bootnotes&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=4&c=44YPs7-qNPwYYeeG8pI@PAdAAAAIA&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D4%26raptor%3Dfalcon%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0
[6] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/bootnotes&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=3&c=33YPs7-qNPwYYeeG8pI@PAdAAAAIA&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D3%26raptor%3Deagle%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0
[7] https://www.6pm.com/
[8] https://www.theregister.com/2009/07/22/amazon_acquires_zappos/
[9] https://www.woot.com/offers/bag-o-crap-8
[10] https://www.theregister.com/2010/07/01/amazon_buys_woot/
[11] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/bootnotes&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=4&c=44YPs7-qNPwYYeeG8pI@PAdAAAAIA&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D4%26raptor%3Dfalcon%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0
[12] https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mad-Dogs-Season-1/dp/B00FZA6NK6
[13] https://www.amazon.co.uk/Ambitious-Prude-Feminist-Slut/dp/B0875YV6CB/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=four+more+shots+please&qid=1627043401&s=instant-video&sr=1-1
[14] https://www.amazon.co.uk/Tube-of-Pain-Broccoli/dp/B086HX46L8/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=danger+and+eggs&qid=1627043491&s=instant-video&sr=1-1
[15] https://www.theregister.com/2021/07/21/amazon_aws_recruitment/
[16] https://www.theregister.com/2021/07/20/how_amazon_broke_free_from_oracle/
[17] https://www.theregister.com/2021/07/07/open_3d_engine/
[18] https://www.theregister.com/2021/07/05/infinidash/
[19] https://www.amazon.co.uk/Dibs/dp/B086VXTR49/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=sigmund+and+the+sea&qid=1627043547&s=instant-video&sr=1-1
[20] https://www.theregister.com/2018/09/08/election_spending_ai/
[21] https://www.theregister.com/2016/11/30/amazon_to_personalize_vm_offerings/
[22] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/bootnotes&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=3&c=33YPs7-qNPwYYeeG8pI@PAdAAAAIA&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D3%26raptor%3Deagle%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0
[23] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vQmTZTq7nw
[24] https://www.theregister.com/2021/07/20/new_shepard_crewed_flight/
[25] https://www.theregister.com/2021/06/02/amazon_warehouse_workers/
[26] https://whitepapers.theregister.com/
Re: Fortunately for the rest of the world...
Chris G
But 6PM is Shoe Time!
As for the Bag o' Crap I was wondering if perhaps Jeff had cornered the market in some way on the dog walkers on the country trails in these parts, they bag it up and hang it on a tree branch instead of taking with them to a receptacle, not sure how such a thing would be monetised but then I am not a billionaire entrepreneur.
Re: Fortunately for the rest of the world...
elsergiovolador
They'll be bagging the contents of the toilet on the space rocket.
Re: Fortunately for the rest of the world...
Richard 12
I dare say they ask you to go before you get in his massive rocket.
Re: Fortunately for the rest of the world...
John Brown (no body)
"They relate in each case to a single category of trade of service. "
...and only in those jurisdictions where they have been registered.
Don't need
elsergiovolador
What is the % of products that Amazon sells and people who buy it don't actually need, but they are addicted to shopping?
What is the environmental impact of that?
Do we actually import disguised trash, so countries that manufacture it and put on Amazon don't have to use up domestic landfills?
Re: Don't need
Anonymous Coward
80% landfill. Leave it in your basket for a week if you still need it then buy it (from elsewhere if possible).
Re: Don't need
Plest
I was once up on the shoreline near Felixstowe just watching the huge containers ships go past into the docks. A local guy wanders up and his first words to me, in that gorgeous rich Suffolk accent, "That's another boatload of plastic shite from China that's going off to an Amazon warehouse somewhere!".
Re: Don't need
John Brown (no body)
"Do we actually import disguised trash, so countries that manufacture it and put on Amazon don't have to use up domestic landfills?"
Reggie Perrin made his fortune with [1]that business model back in the 80's
[1] http://www.leonardrossiter.com/reginaldperrin/Grot.html
Anonymous Coward
"mainly operates a strange one-product-per-day model."
Day 1: length of rubber hose
Day 2: ski mask
Day 3: bear trap
Day 4: tourist map of the pentagon
Day 5: lube
Brad Ackerman
Day 6: bobcat
I'll never get to open the Olympic Games for this post...
The commentard formerly known as Mister_C
Bag o' crap - Amazon owned trade mark
Sack o' cacky - Japanese motorcycle
Mine's the one with copies of 1970s ragmags and Motorcycle News in the pockets
Fortunately for the rest of the world...
Bozos' attempt to take over the entire retail world (and, it seems, maybe the language) is thwarted because trademarks are context-dependent. They relate in each case to a single category of trade of service. So we can continue telling folks it's "6 pm" (if it is) as long as that's not in relation to shoes.