BOFH: You say goodbye and I say halon
- Reference: 1627037164
- News link: https://www.theregister.co.uk/2021/07/23/bofh_2021_episode_13/
- Source link:
"We have to," the Boss responds.
"It's the Montreal Protocol," the fire engineer says. "You shouldn't even have halon in the first place."
[1]
"It was installed years ago," I say. "It was purpose-built for the site."
[2]
[3]
"It still should have been replaced," he shoots back. "And your site didn't even appear on the national register. I only noticed it when I was doing an audit. It's illegal even to have it."
"Maybe records got lost?" I suggest. "And we hardly ever look at the bottles so I guess we just forgot they were there. Someone should have said something."
[4]
And so it is that our halon system is to be decommissioned. One of the last vestiges of "Computing as it was," it too has to be replaced.
"What will we replace it with?" I ask the Boss.
"Do we even NEED fire suppression with all our data in the cloud?"
[5]
"With SOME of our data in the cloud, of course we do. But which system to use?"
[6]BOFH : But soft! What light through yonder filing cabinet breaks?
[7]BOFH : On the PFY's Scottish estate, no one can hear you scream...
[8]BOFH : Go on, beancounter, type DROP TABLE asset;
[9]BOFH : The stupidity criticality
"There are other options to consider," the engineer says. "Some places use water – with the problems that can cause with electronic equipment, some use CO 2 – though obviously there's still the issue of thermal shock from the ultra-cool CO 2 entering a room. Then there are other inert gases – each with their own problems, but they all have the thermal shock consideration."
"What about if we ran the room as a permanent CO 2 environment?" I ask.
"It could work, though there are a number of safety issues which would need to be worked through."
"Yes, yes, but the room's pretty much an airlock now as there's only a tiny amount of introduced air – the rest is recirculated. And the room is already designed to be an airlock because of the halon. In the event of a fire the make-up air vent shutters trip and the room is sealed up like a drum. We could just trip them and recirculate CO 2 ."
"ARE YOU PROPOSING TO HAVE A ROOM FULL OF CO 2 !!!!" the Boss gasps.
"It's not the stupidest idea I've heard," the engineer says. "I mean obviously you'd need a vented airlock, breathing apparatus, appropriate signage, but it could be done."
"WHA..." the Boss gasps.
"It's an unusual situation but it would definitely work. It's not what's known as a 'Preferred Solution' but it would fall under the realm of 'Acceptable Engineered Solutions' – with the appropriate safeguards of course."
"But it would be cheaper to run, wouldn't it?"
"I guess once you had your initial charge you could just top the system up from an airlock," the engineer says, thinking furiously. "But you'd completely eliminate the thermal shock situation – and with high CO 2 presence fires wouldn't even start in the first place."
"So it's decided!" I blurt.
"NO IT'S NOT!" the Boss snaps. "No one's bloody decided anything! We're not going to fill the building up with carbon dioxide!"
"We're not talking about the building, we're only talking about the server room – and it's completely sealed!"
"You could use nitrogen for that matter," the engineer says, thinking some more. "I mean air's 80 per cent nitrogen anyway. You could put a nitrogen generator on the roof and just pipe nitrogen into the room. No bottles, nothing. And you'd just vent the excess nitrogen back to the atmosphere on the roof. It would be even cheaper than CO 2 ."
"So it's DECIDED!" I say.
"IT'S NOT BLOODY DECIDED!" the Boss snaps again. "What about health and safety?"
"It's a locked environment," I say to the fire engineer. There's only two people that have access any more, plus an emergency card."
"You'd need a rescue plan to outline what would happen if someone got trapped in the room or their air supply ran out," the engineer says.
"Simple!" I say. "We just change the HALON HOLD-OFF button to a PURGE button. If there was an emergency you could just hit the purge button and a fan would just pump air into the room."
"Well I guess that would work – but I'd have to calculate maximum travel distances to the purge buttons – and you'd probably need to install several extra buttons."
"A piece of the proverbial!" the PFY says.
"So it's DECIDED!" I blurt.
"NOTHING IS DECIDED!" the Boss snaps yet again.
"I would like it noted in your records that we tried to assist you in the removal of the halon system but HE was against it," I say to the engineer
"I'm not against it, I just want a proper solution."
"That nitrogen environment is unusual, but it would definitely work. And if the room's airtight – which we'll obviously verify for ourselves – I think it's a workable solution. And very cost-effective."
"But you can squander the Company's money if you like," I suggest slyly to the Boss.
... Two weeks later ...
"And there we go," I say to the Boss. "A nitrogen environment. Well, when I say nitrogen I mean mostly nitrogen. It turns out that by taking less than 10 per cent of the oxygen out of the air you effectively prevent combustion."
"And that's nitrogen in there, is it?" the Boss asks.
"Mostly."
The Boss isn't totally convinced. Even with the removal of all the bottles and the eye-watering halon disposal fee, he still thinks that somehow we're up to something.
"So if I went in there without breathing gear..."
"You'd probably pass out not long after you went in – unless you purged the system."
I can see the Boss has his suspicions but he doesn't have the bottle to try it for himself. He decides to leave it and wanders off.
"He'll be back," the PFY says. "Most likely with someone who'll say a nitrogen environment is reckless."
"You're right," I say, reaching for the drill. "Best I fireproof his office too." ®
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nitrogen rich environment
Otherwise known as a Suicide bag.
Nitrogen rich environment
So the server room was filled with the proverbial?
Yay it must be Friday
Happy BOFH day one and all!
I can't imagine in all this heat it's too early for one of these -------->
Great murder choice.
When you suffocate, it is not the lack of oxygen that triggers your awareness of suffocation, it is the build up of carbon dioxide in your blood. If you are breathing nitrogen and don't get enough oxygen, that trigger doesn't happen and you drift gently off to sleep, eventually on a permanent basis.
Re: Great murder choice.
"If you are breathing nitrogen and don't get enough oxygen, that trigger doesn't happen and you drift gently off to sleep, eventually on a permanent basis."
Correct - you don't notice. Nitrogen is used on a large scale to inert chemical process equipment which may contain flammable substances. And sadly people enter those environments and collapse, then one of their colleagues tries to get the victim out and then collapses themselves, etc.
Similar accidents have happened inside barges which have been sealed up for a while and where rusting has resulted in an oxygen-depleted atmosphere. I think there are even types of clay which can cause anoxic conditions in trenches dug in them.
Re: Great murder choice.
For years, safety alwaya told us to eun when we saw someone collapse and then call emergency.
Re: Great murder choice.
...you drift gently off to sleep, eventually on a permanent basis
So, much the same as the House of Lords then?
Re: Great murder choice.
So, much the same as the House of Lords then?
Only with less snoring.
Re: Great murder choice.
Obviously not something the great state of Texas (or other, similar minded states) would ever consider for it's Death Row inmates then - there'd be no obvious terror in the eyes of the inmate for the victims to watch.
Otherwise it seems a reasonable solution for those who approve of such behaviour by the state.
Re: Great murder choice.
I can attest to this. Back in the days when the school curriculum was less 'constrained', I had a great biology teacher for my 'O' level biology, Mr Chappel.
On day, he decided to demonstrate this very thing to the class with a re-breather cabinet, where one 'lucky' student got to experience breathing the same air, both without and then with a carbon dioxide filter. Guess who that lucky student was!
Without the filter, after a few minutes, I stated yawning and then breathing faster and faster while the rest of the class watched, but I remained lucid and responsive.
After a few minutes to recover, he inserted the CO 2 filter and repeated the experiment. I don't actually remember it too much, but apparently I started jabbering complete and utter rubbish as I was asked various questions, and it got to the point where I almost fell off the stool as I was passing out, only to be caught by a couple of quick thinking classmates on the front row of the lecture theatre.
Oh how much more interesting were those days, before teachers would be reprimanded for cruel and unusual treatment their students. Not sure why I got chosen, I was one of the better (although maybe a slightly cheeky) student. Ah, yes I do. He knew my father (who had also taught biology at the same school) and probably guessed that he would not get into any hot water!
Hmmm...
"Even with the removal of all the bottles and the eye-watering halon disposal fee"
I can't remember - was the 'Halon system' ever tested? I can see a Swiss solution here (or possibly Cayman Islands). A convenient 'engineer', and even more convenient 'legally required examination', an eye-watering never-installed-halon installation fee, eye watering never-needed-to-dispose-of disposal fee - and now the fee for the never-installed nitrogen room. That's an interesting retirement fund for a room that can catch fire conveniently and have a convenient 'fire protection system failure' if it ever becomes necessary...
Re: Hmmm...
The Haylon system was indeed tested significantly more than once, to the point that several installments mention the dificualty of obtaining black market Haylon, obtaining Nitrogen will be a bit easier.
Very good shot at the 'Headline of the Year' award.
Must give a nod to the Headline of this BOFH, particularly the sub-headline/lyrics.
Very well played !!!
:)
Priceless
Much like the Halon removal.
With the Boss being so 'important' his office obviously need fire protection too. Just goes to show how thoughtful the BOFH is!
I'm curious
Does anyone actually use this type of solution in server rooms? Fires won't start with less than 15% or so oxygen at sea level, which is equivalent to the oxygen on a typical long haul flight so not anything most of us are unfamiliar with.
Seems like way too simple and cheap a solution (if your server room is sealed or you can easily make it so) but I must be missing something or this would be what everyone uses and halon suppression systems would never have been invented.
Re: I'm curious
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypoxic_air_technology_for_fire_prevention
I suppose the advantage of halon is that you have a normal working environment until the fire happens.
Re: I'm curious
I wonder if there is a risk of ending up with the opposite problem?
i.e. something flammable gets hot enough to burn if there was a normal oxygen level but doesn't burn because there isn't enough oxygen. Then someone opens a door or there is a leak of regular air into the room and suddenly that thing bursts into flame with no other warning.
I guess the key point is that hot/burning things are Bad and all you can really do is try to influence what type of Bad you get.
Re: I'm curious
IIRC it's a big problem in firefighting. Room on fire uses up all the oxygen, somebody opens the door, fresh air flows in = bad day for all concerned
BEFH?
I guess?
Nice back and forth between the two bastards.
Hmm ...
" ...the eye-watering halon disposal fee... "
I can't help feeling that this involved their black-market halon supplier, with the BOFH, PFY and fire engineer all receiving well-stuffed brown envelopes.
I worked in a new building with halon in the equipment rooms. It fired off once, causing great alarm but no harm.
A fire in the storage area, used to hold materials during the final phase of construction, was more dramatic.
A spare Halon bottle cooked in the fire, it vented, travelling about 100 yards through the air and into someone's bedroom via the wall.
The accident investigators were not amused when told that the cylinder was a fire extinguisher. The clerk of works was arrested until delicate negotiations secured a truce
I'm new to this site. Does anyone know what country this discussion is taking place?
!
So it's DECIDED!
Not the Halon!
I would have imagined that they found a way to keep it! Inspector would have been bribed\coerced or the victim of a most timely accident involving Halon? Or some clever switcheroo where the Halon comes back in the side door labeled as something else.
Going after another boss... ballsy!