News: 1625030123

  ARM Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life (Terry Pratchett, Jingo)

‘Fasten your seat belts, raise your tray table, and disconnect your Bluetooth headsets from the entertainment unit’

(2021/06/30)


US-based mega-airline United Airlines has announced it will purchase 200 new planes — a mixture of Boeing 737 Max and Airbus A320 Neos — and equip the lot with in-seat Bluetooth.

United has promised its new fleet will boast “the industry’s fastest available in-flight WiFi that lets customers stream video from online services.

“The aircraft also will have Bluetooth technology throughout for easy connections between wireless headphones and the seatback entertainment screens.”

[1]

The cost of the WiFi service has not been revealed.

[2]

Nor has whether cabin crew will be trained in Bluetooth troubleshooting. The Register mentions that skill as the universe of Bluetooth audio kit is enormous, and not all of it plays well with others.

With the new fleet comprised largely of planes with 200 or more seats, that’s a lot of potential for frustrated punters to complain that they can’t enjoy the ten-inch screens that will be installed in every 737 economy class seat. And what a first-class passenger will make of being unable to tune in to the 13-incher their extra fare pays for remains unknowable — but almost certainly won’t be pleasant.

[3]Bezos v Branson: Battle of the wannabe Space Barons as Virgin Galactic cleared by FAA to start flying customers

[4]Boeing fined $17m after fitting uncertified sensors to 737 Max and NG airliners for 4 years

[5]Air India admits to data breach impacting 4.5m customers, sat on the news for five weeks

United plans to have 40 members of its new fleet in the air by the end of 2022, before it ramps up with 138 additions in 2023. 2022 therefore looks like a year of Bluetooth debugging.

The airline has touted its fleet refresh as both a shot in the arm for the US economy, and an endorsement of its post-pandemic resilience. It’s also claimed the new planes will reduce frustration, by guaranteeing a slot in an overhead bin for every passenger. ®

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[1] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_onprem/personaltech&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=2&c=2YNxAwgL0Wx83s-M3S-Ci5wAAAEY&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D2%26raptor%3Dcondor%26pos%3Dtop%26test%3D0

[2] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_onprem/personaltech&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=4&c=44YNxAwgL0Wx83s-M3S-Ci5wAAAEY&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D4%26raptor%3Dfalcon%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0

[3] https://www.theregister.com/2021/06/29/virgin_galactic/

[4] https://www.theregister.com/2021/05/27/boeing_fined_737_max_uncertified_hugs_sensors/

[5] https://www.theregister.com/2021/05/24/air_india_sita_data_breach/

[6] https://whitepapers.theregister.com/

Really Anonymous Coward

Bluetooth for at seat entertainment is going to be interesting with 200 people pairing all at once - how will they make sure people pair their own device to their own seat?!

JetSetJim

They will, for a small fee, lend you a pre-paired set of headphones?

qantas never crash

john.jones.name

Qantas gave up on in seat entertainment

they simply equip users who want a screen with a managed iPad and wired headphones

people who already have an iPad/android/windows simply can connect to the Wifi and download the entertainment app

everything is an app...

the App simply is a HTML interface to the onboard server which can stream movies or audio (podcasts)

basically like a netflix in the sky

WTF are United Airlines thinking ?

Anonymous Coward

Still ain't going if it's a Boeing

Potemkine!

This order of A321Neo is the death warrant for the Boeing NMA.

PS1: The information I have is United Airlines ordering 270 planes, 200 737 MAX and 70 A321 Neo

PS2: No MAX for me, thank you!

Chris G

Just make sure if you fly Max not make it the same week you give up smoking, glue sniffing, amphetamines etc, although having good blutooth cans and watching a good movie may improve your experience towards the end of the flight.

elsergiovolador

Would you not want to knock at the heaven's door completely clean though?

the evil that is the american airline industry

the Jim bloke

by guaranteeing a slot in an overhead bin for every passenger. ®

how much extra do you have to pay, to get to travel in a seat?

A Non e-mouse

F**k bluetooth for the in-flight entertainment. In fact, f**k in-flight entertainment: Just give me a few more inches leg room.

F**k bluetooth for the in-flight entertainment.

Anonymous Coward

and popcorn, gimme popcorn, price equivalent of gold popcorn.

...

soon, to fly undisturbed, you'll have to wear an all-embracing helmet to muffle the outside world and supply your own, popcorn-free oxygene. Or rather: forced to rent it from the airline. But hey, need to pay to save this planet, you know!

Re: F**k bluetooth for the in-flight entertainment.

Snow Hill Island

"popcorn-free oxygene"

I had no idea there was a mashup with a BBC Radiophonic workshop tune.... My copy is already popcorn free.

Fly the unfriendly skies

Phil O'Sophical

IIRC United were one of the last hold outs of central aisle-mounted TV screens and those horrible rubber-tube pneumatic headsets. They were also one of the first to charge for any alcohol, even the plastic mini wine bottles, on transatlantic flights. I stopped flying with them years ago, and won't be back.

endorsement of its post-pandemic resilience

Anonymous Coward

plain English: people can't wait to shit on this planet EVEN MORE!

Something to look forward to

T. F. M. Reader

Good to see a major airline being bullish on the prospects of renewed travels. I am especially looking forward to enhanced in-flight entertainment, what with every Tom, Dick, and Karen pairing their personal smartphones to the screens and/or to the entertainment system at large, quite possibly to the screens / earbuds of other seats on the plane, and then disembarking without wiping all the synched contacts, intimate WhatsApp chats, nude photos...

Hilarity will ensue...

They can buy as many new planes as they like

Mike Lewis

I still won't fly with them. For the last four years, I've been counting good and bad news stories about airlines and they are right down at the bottom of my list at -89. Personal experience confirms that.

Unconscious

elsergiovolador

Given the low quality of entertainment that is being produced, they might as well give out sedatives, so that you will wake up upon landing.

And in case Boeing 737 MAX, when the flight won't go according to plan, you won't know.

United inflight entertainment

Yet Another Hierachial Anonynmous Coward

Just make sure you don't let them handle your guitar.....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YGc4zOqozo

(true story)

Troll sat alone on his seat of stone,
And munched and mumbled a bare old bone;
For many a year he had gnawed it near,
For meat was hard to come by.
Done by! Gum by!
In a cave in the hills he dwelt alone,
And meat was hard to come by.

Up came Tom with his big boots on.
Said he to Troll: "Pray, what is youn?
For it looks like the shin o' my nuncle Tim,
As should be a-lyin in graveyard.
Caveyard! Paveyard!
This many a year has Tim been gone,
And I thought he were lyin' in graveyard."

"My lad," said Troll, "this bone I stole.
But what be bones that lie in a hole?
Thy nuncle was dead as a lump o' lead,
Afore I found his shinbone.
Tinbone! Thinbone!
He can spare a share for a poor old troll
For he don't need his shinbone."

Said Tom: "I don't see why the likes o' thee
Without axin' leave should go makin' free
With the shank or the shin o' my father's kin;
So hand the old bone over!
Rover! Trover!
Though dead he be, it belongs to he;
So hand the old bnone over!"
-- J. R. R. Tolkien