Wanted: Brexit grand fromage. £120k a year. Perks? Hmmmm…
- Reference: 1624015512
- News link: https://www.theregister.co.uk/2021/06/18/wanted_brexit_grand_fromage/
- Source link:
The 17-page job spec (downloadable [1]here ) – with perks including hybrid working, childcare benefits, a generous pension, and a loan to buy a bike – is brief.
In a nutshell, it’s this: “The Director, Brexit Opportunities Unit is a high-profile role. It needs someone who can change existing thinking, working across all government departments, developing partnerships with senior stakeholders, including the Prime Minister, to ensure ministerial priorities are met.”
[2]
Sounds like a nightmare. Even if you only have to go into the office three days a week.
[3]God bless this mess: Study says UK's Christian beliefs had 'important' role in Brexit
[4]Pigeon fanciers in a flap over Brexit quarantine flock-up, seek exemption from EU laws
[5]Delayed UK digital border system was only stable enough to be used by 4% of intended users, MPs say
[6]UK Space Agency will pay a new CEO £125,000 to run non-existent space programme
Still, if someone is going to take the job, the first task should be to rename the Brexit Opportunities Unit (BOU). That way the incomer can really put their stamp on the job and make it their own. New broom and all that.
Something like, Brexit Opportunities Office (BOO) or the Office of Brexit Opportunities in Europe (OBOE) or Brexit Opportunities Office in Britain Originally and Overseas (BOO-BOO)…
[7]
The closing date for applications is 18 July. ®
Get our [8]Tech Resources
[1] https://www.odgersberndtson.com/en-gb/opportunities#AssignDetail.aspx?guid=83192
[2] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/front&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=2&c=2YMzDHypUYOoqo-OQui93lAAAAI4&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D2%26raptor%3Dcondor%26pos%3Dtop%26test%3D0
[3] https://www.theregister.com/2021/04/20/christianity_brexit/
[4] https://www.theregister.com/2021/04/15/pigeon_fanciers_fear_brexit_quarantine/
[5] https://www.theregister.com/2021/03/15/delayed_digital_border_system_300/
[6] https://www.theregister.com/2021/03/11/space_in_brief/
[7] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/front&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=4&c=44YMzDHypUYOoqo-OQui93lAAAAI4&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D4%26raptor%3Dfalcon%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0
[8] https://whitepapers.theregister.com/
Great Position/Opportunity
No experience or qualifications needed. Just have to prove you are a devoted brexit headbanger.
Re: Great Position/Opportunity
Probably fair to assume that one of the limitations of the position is the inability to start negotiations to rejoin Europe?
Brexit Opportunities Unit?
Agreed, what a sad nothing name. Uninspiring. Why not, "The Department of Unicorns?"
Or Bexit Board of Chancers? (I hear that abbreviation will soon be up for grabs...)
Re: Brexit Opportunities Unit?
"Every problem is an opportunity"
In this case the a self-induced opportunity on the scale of deciding to invade Russia in Winter
Re: Brexit Opportunities Unit?
It doesn't matter what time of the year you invade Russia, winter turns up within a few months.
Re: Brexit Opportunities Unit?
And after disastrously invading Russia you can replace your leader and within a decade be a world leading country again.
How long before the "opportunity" of Brexit is overcome
How tedious.
http://edition.cnn.com/TECH/space/9909/30/mars.metric.02/
British Office for Reconstruction and International Sales
Will be run by a Group Of Virtuous* Executives.
*or Venal. Take your pick.
Re: British Office for Reconstruction and International Sales
The Brexit Oblation Board?
Re: British Office for Reconstruction and International Sales
It will be "Office of Brexit Excellence" for the incoming chum of Boris/Gove/Truss/Hancock, which will have an impact on their honorifics & titles later on in life...
Is one of the
qualifications "Must have been mates with boris at oxford" ?
Re: Is one of the
I doubt it. It’s a poisoned chalice, everyone knows its a poisoned chalice, and the money isn’t all that must - especially considering that it’s career suicide.
Re: Is one of the
But is it absolutely guaranteed career suicide? No chance of return of redemption whatsoever? Because, if so, I would like to nominate Dido Harding.
My choice
I'd rename it to the Brexit Opportunities Office for Business Investment and Export Solutions.
Do I get the job now?
Foreign Undertakings Commerce Knowledge Enhancement Department
Isn't that a bit life jumping of a cliff, then trying to work out how to get a soft landing?
Or jumping off a cliff, refusing the offer of a parachute on the way down, crashing onto the rocks and claiming that the view of the cliff is much better from down here
Office of Brexit Opportunities in Europe - Personnel, Industrial & National Collaborations (OBOE-PINC)
I know someone who's totally f****** hopeless. Should I suggest they apply?
You are Mat Hancock and I claim my £120k
Sounds like a great opportunity ...
I can think of at least one prominent code-addicted commentard who seems like an ideal fit for the role!
Re: Sounds like a great opportunity ...
Nah, I think you have to come up with at least one good reason.
Highly contentious suggestion 'Troll or Joke'?!?!?!
I realise that this is maybe a desperate gesture, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
May I suggest that, purely in order to save the NHS, someone tell Dido Harding to apply?
I know, I know, but honestly, we need the NHS, and whoever gets the Brexit Advisor Leading Liberation of Soaring UK Prosperity* job is going to be awful at it anyway. And even Boris would have to sack her after a short while.
*Unfortunate acronym, sorry about that
I am afraid they should at least quadruple the offer in order to find someone competent.
With such low salaries, no wonder we keep reading about another official securing another contract for one of his or her mates and since there is no enforcement, we have what we have...
" £93,000 - £120,000 "
" Contract subject to negotiation; the role can be arranged on the basis of permanent appointment, loan, secondment or fixed-term assignment for a minimum of two years where it is in the mutual interest of the candidate and the Cabinet Office. "
So you can negotiate yourself outside IR35? Anyone spoken to HMRC?