News: 1623950111

  ARM Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life (Terry Pratchett, Jingo)

Space Force turtle expert uncovers $1.2m Cape Canaveral cocaine haul

(2021/06/17)


A member of the newly inaugurated US Space Force discovered more than she bargained for as she conducted a survey of turtle nests on the coast around Cape Canaveral last month.

Angy Chambers, a civil engineer and wildlife manager with the 45th Civil Engineer Squadron, was forced to suspend her check on testudinal housing conditions when she noticed that packages containing $1.2m worth of cocaine had washed up on the beach.

Chambers contacted the 45th Security Forces Squadron – another component element of [1]Space Launch Delta 45 , the new Space Force unit [2]in charge of Cape Canaveral – to ask them to secure the haul.

[3]

"While I was waiting for them to arrive, I drove a little further and noticed another package, and then another," she said in a statement. At this point she called back and suggested that the security detail should bring a vehicle as she had found 18 packages and was still finding more.

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Joseph Parker of the 45th SFS took charge of the search and closed the beach. A more thorough investigation eventually uncovered 24 bundles weighing 30kg (66lb) in total.

A narcotics agent from the local sheriff's office conducted tests which confirmed that the substance in the packages was indeed shouty nose sherbert. Although presumably not by wetting their finger and dipping it in the powder, like they do in TV shows (as shown at 5:49 in the video below).

[8]

[9]Youtube Video

The drugs were ultimately turned over to the Department of Homeland Security. It is thought that the packages were part of a consignment lost overboard during a smuggling run.

[10]

Dave Castro, a Homeland Security special agent, said that packaging and wrapping on bales of cocaine being smuggled into Florida are sometimes "destroyed during transit, causing bricks to be lost at sea and eventually recovered on the coastline of the United States." Traffickers chased by law enforcement also sometimes throw their cargo overboard in an attempt to destroy evidence.

None of our shelled friends were harmed during the recovery operation. They were all turtley fine. ®

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[1] https://www.patrick.spaceforce.mil/history/

[2] https://www.kennedyspacecenter.com/

[3] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/bootnotes&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=2&c=2YMvGA2Fnq@FaPBkS8FSzLQAAAA0&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D2%26raptor%3Dcondor%26pos%3Dtop%26test%3D0

[4] https://www.theregister.com/2021/05/26/uk_launch_regs/

[5] https://www.theregister.com/2021/05/20/azure_ball_aerospace_demo/

[6] https://www.theregister.com/2021/05/07/space_debris_regulation/

[7] https://www.theregister.com/2020/11/23/alligator_puppy_rescue/

[8] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/bootnotes&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=4&c=44YMvGA2Fnq@FaPBkS8FSzLQAAAA0&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D4%26raptor%3Dfalcon%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0

[9] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04ed0Ag6g5g

[10] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/bootnotes&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=4&c=44YMvGA2Fnq@FaPBkS8FSzLQAAAA0&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D4%26raptor%3Dfalcon%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0

[11] https://whitepapers.theregister.com/

Turtle Expert

HildyJ

It makes sense Space Force would have a turtle expert.

Somebody had to keep an eye on the Great A'Tuin.

Re: Turtle Expert

MiguelC

Of course they need the expert, they know it's "turtles all the way down"

(lacking a "captain Obvious" icon)

Re: Turtle Expert

JimboSmith

Have an upvote for the Sir Pterry reference.

My life is crushed in only a few words.

DarkwavePunk

"Space Force turtle expert"

Why?! Why is this not me? I have wasted my entire life.

Need some --->

Tom Paine

"shouty nose sherbet" - v gd!

"Turtley unaffected" - well over the line; I shall be writing to my MP about this outrage!

What Is It Me With Names Today

The Oncoming Scorn

Initially I read her name as Angry, then thanks to Verity's article earlier Agony Chamber.

In Other News

NoneSuch

The Space Force Christmas party will be amazing....

Re: In Other News

A.P. Veening

The Space Force Christmas party will be amazing....

Let it snow, let it snow ...

QOTD:
"I'm on a seafood diet -- I see food and I eat it."