Intrepid Change.org user launches petition to make Jeff Bezos' space trip one-way
- Reference: 1623866472
- News link: https://www.theregister.co.uk/2021/06/16/intrepid_changeorg_user_launches_petition/
- Source link:
Bezos is scheduled to be launched 100km up for a brief, suborbital trip [1]on the first manned flight by his New Shepard rocket , operated by the Blue Origin space tourism company he founded back in 2000.
He will be accompanied on the flight by his brother, Mark, and a mystery auction winner [2]who reportedly paid $28m for the privilege.
[3]
Petition organiser Jose Ortiz [4]did not elaborate on whether his two fellow passengers should be allowed to return to their planet of origin, but the logistical problems of bringing them back while leaving the older Bezos in space would make this difficult.
[5]
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The [7]New Shepard launch vehicle is entirely controlled by onboard computers, with no input from a ground station or its occupants, which would make it almost impossible to change the mission profile in-flight and dock with a rescue vehicle to extract Bezos Jnr and the super-rich mysterynaut.
While condemning a successful multibillionaire businessman (and possibly two other slightly less wealthy people) to either a lonely, lingering death on the edge of Earth's atmosphere or a quick, fiery, and terrifying death on re-entry might be seen as somewhat harsh, Ortiz put forward his reasoning on the petition sign-up page:
Jeff Bezos is actually Lex Luthor, disguised as the supposed owner of a super successful online retail store. However, he's actually an evil overlord hellbent on global domination. We've known this for years.
Ortiz also claims that the Amazon founder is "in bed with the flat Earth deniers," a position he will presumably find very difficult to maintain once he leaves Earth and proves once again what shape it is.
The New Shepard capsule contains six seats, and Bezos Snr hopes the comically phallic rocket will become a regular space tourism and suborbital delivery vehicle.
[8]Fancy the ultimate no-Air-outside-bnb? NASA willing to rent out ISS for two weeks
[9]Artemis I core stage finally pointing in the right direction at Kennedy Space Center
[10]NASA to return to the Moon by 2024. One problem with that, says watchdog: All of it
[11]FTC approves $61.7m settlement with Amazon for pocketing driver tips
However, the three empty seats on the first manned Blue Origin mission have led to suggestions on the petition website as to who else could accompany him on his one-way trip. [12]One idea is that he should take Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg and Tesla and SpaceX CEO Elon Musk along.
This would still leave one unclaimed seat, but even if the capsule were allowed to return safely, The Reg doubts there is another human being on Earth who would want it. Maybe John McAfee or Larry Ellison.
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The petition has been running for a week and currently has 9,645 signatures out of a target of 10,000.
The Register has contacted Jeff Bezos, but at the time of writing [14]he was too rich to comment . ®
Get our [15]Tech Resources
[1] https://www.theregister.com/2021/06/07/bezos_blue_origin_flight/
[2] https://www.theregister.com/2021/06/14/blue_origin_auction/
[3] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/bootnotes&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=2&c=2YMp0f0QNtORAtxRBaCy8kgAAAE0&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D2%26raptor%3Dcondor%26pos%3Dtop%26test%3D0
[4] https://www.change.org/p/blue-origin-petition-to-not-allow-jeff-bezos-re-entry-to-earth
[5] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/bootnotes&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=4&c=44YMp0f0QNtORAtxRBaCy8kgAAAE0&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D4%26raptor%3Dfalcon%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0
[6] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/bootnotes&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=3&c=33YMp0f0QNtORAtxRBaCy8kgAAAE0&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D3%26raptor%3Deagle%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0
[7] https://www.blueorigin.com/new-shepard/
[8] https://www.theregister.com/2021/06/15/nasa_rents_international_space_station/
[9] https://www.theregister.com/2021/06/15/artemis_i_core_stage_vertical_kennedy_space_center/
[10] https://www.theregister.com/2021/05/28/moon_nasa_late/
[11] https://www.theregister.com/2021/06/11/ftc_amazon_flex/
[12] https://www.foxbusiness.com/lifestyle/deny-bezos-blue-origin-reentry-petition
[13] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/bootnotes&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=4&c=44YMp0f0QNtORAtxRBaCy8kgAAAE0&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D4%26raptor%3Dfalcon%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0
[14] https://www.theregister.com/2018/05/03/bezos_billions_space/
[15] https://whitepapers.theregister.com/
Re: Never work
I don't see a problem with that at all.
Re: Never work
Where do I sign?
Maybe Kim Jong Un would like the last open seat.
Remember, don't be mean
It just isn't nice'
Re: Remember, don't be mean
Right, be average...
Re: Remember, don't be mean
When I read the headline, I thought this would be a poor-spirited attempt at a joke. Having read the text of the petition, I'm not so sure anymore. Sure, it's the kind of thing a fifteen-year-old trying to be funny without watching what actually funny people do might write, but unfortunately there are people who say the same sort of thing in absolute seriousness.
Re: Remember, don't be mean
"...there are people who say the same sort of thing in absolute seriousness."
Like everyone, for example. Including Douglas Adams, whose B Ark captures quite accurately our collective fantasy of being rid of the useless, the insipid, the burdensome, and the obnoxious. There's nothing wrong with feeling hatred for someone who's earned it, nor with openly insulting them or wishing them ill. The line is crossed when one actively and purposefully causes physical harm. This doesn't even approach that standard.
Re: Remember, don't be mean
It's not the joking about harm I'm talking about. Read the text of the petition. There's not much of it, and it doesn't really talk about his failings or even the results. It's a mash of conspiracy theories only.
Re: Remember, don't be mean
I agree that it's poorly written and disappointing. Lex Luthor is a fictional character. The Knights Templar and Free Masons are a gag that's been running for centuries. Epstein, well, I don't know what happened there but it stinks to high heaven, at best; the conspiracy theorists are very probably right on that one.
As for "flat earth deniers", we've already had one story about a guy (Mike Hughes) who built his own spaceship for the purpose of proving the planet is flat. It didn't go well, and not because some conspiracy brought him down.
None of these things have any obvious connection with Mr Bezos. I assume it's just a weak 2-minute effort at humour. *shrug*
Re: Remember, don't be mean
Well, yes. That's kind of the point, innit.
Only problem with that is his ship isn't powerful enough to actually achieve a one way trip
Any one-way trip would be far enough.
Never work
If this petition were to actually work, it wouldn't be an hour before some wisecracker started a similar petition to do the same with our politicians.