Stale and past its best. Are you talking about Windows or the pizza you're waiting for?
- Reference: 1620389654
- News link: https://www.theregister.co.uk/2021/05/07/bork/
- Source link:
Spotted by Reg reader Dean K, who was making an essential journey to collect the steaming disc of doughy delight from a well-known cheese-and-tomato bread slinger, the screen that would normally tell customers how long they had to wait was flashing something altogether more worrying.
In this instance, it was the Windows Start Menu from long ago. Long removed from current versions of the operating system (although Microsoft has continued to find ways of reintroducing it without admitting that the unmitigated disaster of the Windows 8 user interface was anything other than an adventure in touch-first design), the old thing is showing its wares for all to see.
[1]
Guess the version of Windows...
The shell on show looks to us to be Windows Server 2008, which met its Waterloo along with its stablemate Windows 7 at the beginning of 2020. This was back when queuing for a pizza lacked the mask-based paranoia of today. Then, a cough from the staff might mean some unexpected augmentation for the toppings rather than the swab up the nose of today.
As for "Who's Up Next?", the answer is Windows Security. Presumably somebody back at the mothership has clicked somewhere they shouldn't. The result? An impressively trim and tidy Start Menu.
[2]
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And there seems to be every possibility that it is indeed Windows in the queue. After all, the next step is "Quality Check", and the product is expected in two minutes. As many a victim of Microsoft's decidedly iffy approach to quality over recent years might sigh: "Two minutes for a Quality Check? That long?"
Still, at least there'll always be pizza on which to chew. Hopefully not as stale and old as the version of Windows flaunting itself in the pizza parlour. ®
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[1] https://regmedia.co.uk/2021/05/07/bork.jpg
[2] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/bootnotes&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=2&c=2YJVkGgSBtgktqOf6P8O2fAAAAIk&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D2%26raptor%3Dcondor%26pos%3Dtop%26test%3D0
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[4] https://whitepapers.theregister.com/
Re: Pizza toppings
Pineapple.
Re: Pizza toppings
Snot.
See bit about face coverings.
Re: Pizza toppings
Sorry, that is anatomically incorrect.
(
SNOT is the accidental discharge associated wid der Olfactory protuberance (NOSE).
PHLEGM is der stuff emanating from a Throaty Malfunction.
At least, that's wot 'appened to MY Pizza.
PS. I don't like Pizza no more.
Re: Pizza toppings
As I mentioned elsewhere today, pineapple on a pizza is a travesty, however, some years back a workmate informed me that his pizza that he ordered from a local takeaway included two toenail clippings. Possibly added mistakenly thinking he was a foot fetishist but enough to keep me from ever going near the place again.
I am sure worse things have gone into or on takeaway food but I don't want to think about it.
Re: Pizza toppings
I just don't like pineapple. The taste is okay, it's the nasty soggy-crunchiness of the stuff.
Re: Pizza toppings
I feel sorry for people whose taste buds haven't matured enough to appreciate the glorious taste explosions that combining the sweet with the savoury can offer.
Turkey with cranberry sauce.
Pork with apple sauce.
Pate with black currant.
Even cheddar cheese with strawberry jam is a delight unto itself. (I don't know how I first tried that when I was a kid, but does work surprisingly well with a nice mature cheddar.)
And for those of you who are old enough, you must remember the "beloved" cheese-and-pineapple-on-a-stick UK party food of the 70s. Ok, ok, bad example. :)
Ham and pineapple on pizza is a another great combination though. But you must remember, just because some of us enjoy pineapple on pizza, that doesn't mean we insist on putting pineapple on every pizza. Variety is the spice of life, after all.
Cheers --->
Re: Pizza toppings
The pineapple pizza can be found in any Pizzeria in Germany: The Pizza Hawaii. It comes with the usual tomato and cheese, plus ham and pineapple. This derives from the (in)famous "Toast Hawaii", invented for a TV cooking show from the early 60s. The original recipe:
On a slice of toast first you lay a slice of cooked ham, one ring of canned pineapple, a slice "Scheiblettenkäse" (the German name of Kraft Singles). Bake until the cheese if molten and everything is hot. Serve with a cocktail cherry on top.
Disclaimer: Please note that in spite of the name this has nothing to do with Hawaiian cuisine.
Mine is the one with can of pineapples in the pocket.
Re: Pizza toppings
My dad had an aunt who swore by kippers and jam or custard, and fruit cake (parkin?) and cheese (Wensleydale, Grommit)
Re: Pizza toppings
..on a pizza?
Not a security issue if not online
Hardly a Bork. As long as that box isn't online, what does it matter what it runs? Just someone dropped something on a keyboard and hit a Windows key.
They probably have a heap of second hand junked old PCs out back. Ready to swap in as each one gets gunked up with Pizza grease and muck.
If all it does is run some old software, who cares? No customer data to be stolen, just a list of which pizzas were sold.
By this guy holding on to their ancient system they are avoiding some modern monstrosity that probably needs cloud access, online updates, and all kindas headaches. Something new would be more of a risk.
Computers. Of any kind. That’s what doesn’t belong anywhere near a pizza.
Pizza should have thin, freshly stretched dough base, and then go to town on the toppings. I realise that Italians, and probably particularly Neapolitans, have very strict ideas about what constitutes an acceptable pizza topping - but I’m not so strict. Sure, I wouldn’t go for ham, or for pineapple, but I’m equally sure that my preferred toppings would have many people gagging. For reference, I prefer to overload a pizza with:
* Freshly made basil and tomato sauce
* Nduja sausage
* Pepperoni
* Chicken
* Artichokes
* Anchovies
* Fresh chilli peppers
* Smoked chilli sauce
* A lot of mozzarella
- and now I’m feeling hungry! (You wouldn’t like me when I’m hungry)
I’m not a huge fan of chicken on a pizza, it’s dry enough as it is, but wouldn’t want to fall out over having on the ingredient list.
On homemade pizza I’ve come to be a big fan of chopped celery. I’m not sure why I even tried it (You may well have been pissed at the time, Ed) but it’s become a firm favourite on my pizza efforts.
Pizza toppings
anchovies ftw