Delayed, overbudget and broken. Of course Microsoft's finest would be found in NASA's Orion
- Reference: 1615201327
- News link: https://www.theregister.co.uk/2021/03/08/bork/
- Source link:
Spotted by Register reader Scott during a visit to the otherwise excellent [1]Space Center Houston , there is something all too real lurking within the mock-up of the [2]Orion capsule in which NASA hopes to send its astronauts for jaunts beyond low Earth orbit.
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Clutched in the hand of a mannequin posed in the capsule's hatch is a reminder of both how old space tech tends to be and a warning for space-farers intending to take Microsoft's finest out for a spin.
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We've finally got one, folks: A NASA bork (click to enlarge)
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Yes, that handy mock-up of an outer-space tablet looks to be running Microsoft's finest, circa 2009. And Windows has done what Windows does best: fall over into a heap.
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Get ready for your close-up (click to enlarge)
We imagine the last thing an astronaut wants to see, millions of miles from home, is Windows bleating about a system restore. Just think of the interplanetary bandwidth needed to sate Microsoft's never-ending demands for updates. Even [7]Elon Musk's Starlink might struggle to satisfy The Beast.
Thankfully, we're pretty sure this particular Orion capsule won't be troubling the top of a Space Launch System (SLS) rocket any time soon and anyhow, Linux is already on Mars courtesy of [8]NASA's Perseverance rover and the Ingenuity mini-helicopter .
We can but imagine what names the space agency might give a Windows-powered craft: perhaps the Binary Long Orbit Attenuation Tester, or BLOAT for short? Certainly, the voracious appetite for resources and ability to embrace and extinguish for which the company is famed might make it more of a Star Trek villain than NASA hero.
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And let's face it, "Houston, we've had a Blue Screen of Death" just doesn't have quite the same ring to it. ®
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[1] https://twitter.com/SpaceCenterHou?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor
[2] https://www.theregister.com/2021/02/24/sls_stickers_delay/
[3] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/bootnotes&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=2&c=2YEZYL9cMYEAuXv9jLFnHYQAAAFY&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D2%26raptor%3Dcondor%26pos%3Dtop%26test%3D0
[4] https://regmedia.co.uk/2021/03/05/bork_nasa.jpg
[5] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/bootnotes&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=3&c=33YEZYL9cMYEAuXv9jLFnHYQAAAFY&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D3%26raptor%3Deagle%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0
[6] https://regmedia.co.uk/2021/03/05/bork_nasa_closeup.jpg
[7] https://www.theregister.com/2021/02/23/starlink_moon/
[8] https://www.theregister.com/2021/02/18/perseverance_landing/
[9] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/bootnotes&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=4&c=44YEZYL9cMYEAuXv9jLFnHYQAAAFY&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D4%26raptor%3Dfalcon%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0
[10] https://whitepapers.theregister.com/
Re: Slide Rule
And back that up with trig and log table tattoos...
I can see it now, heroic astronauts on the dark side of the moon trying to reach the environmental control console to turn on the O2 (moved for the 563th by MS, now nested 14 layers down in the "Breathing console" of the new "Comfort" section) only to get....."unable to contact licensing server".
What do you want Oxygen for? Oxygen's for losers!
Given that the dark side is often facing the Earth, presumably you mean the far side.
Dark has always been a description our understanding, not the luminosity.
In the same way the dark ages weren't characterised by the sun being extinguished, but the (relative) lack of historical record.
Avoiding activation issues is easy - go with MS's greatest - Win 2000. Maybe NASA could persuade Redmond to produce a customised 2001 edition for the next lunar flight.
I'm the one sporting a 5.75" floppy in my spacesuit ...
Well that's not going to fit, is it?
https://www.floppydisk.com/5point25
Wrong documentation?
It's clearly not read "Windows for Dummies" yet...
Agreed that sending a space mission out with Windows on their computers (and other devices) is asking for trouble.
Linux (and other *nix derivatives are the answer) as these will not hog the bandwidth, and can be modified to suit the mission.
Of course, the lowest common denominator for all of the Operating Systems in the world (galaxy?) is any of the following : a dead CPU, faulty RAM or a self-scrambling storage device.
Er ...
"Open the pod bay doors please, Cortana"
"I'm sorry Dave, but you should have read the EULA more carefully ..."
Windows for Spaceships ?
As far as I can see, the notion of Windows in space is stillborn. DOA.
Windows is an OS that cannot function properly without a regular connection to the mothership (pun intended). On top of that, if ever have to reinstall a PC on the other side of the Moon, Windows Activation is going to be a right nightmare.
Don't go telling me that you can install a Windows Activation Server or other such nonsense. It is not a solution, it is nothing but a Band-Aid.
Linux is the only OS that deserves going to space. It's modularity and frugality are legendary, and it does not phone home.
Re: Windows for Spaceships ?
>Linux is the only OS that deserves going to space
VxWorks and QNX would like a word with you
Re: Windows for Spaceships ?
Linux is the only OS that deserves going to space.
You want to trust your life support to systemd?
And let's face it, "Houston, we've had a Blue Screen of Death" just doesn't have quite the same ring to it.
Not so sure about that. Depending on what spacecraft systems are running on the Windows box, it could literally be a Blue Screen of Death.
Slide Rule
It's no problem. Just channel your inner Neil Armstrong and bring your slide rule.