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  ARM Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life (Terry Pratchett, Jingo)

Forget GameStop: Keyboard warriors and electronic trading have never mixed well

(2021/02/22)


Who, Me? This week's [1]Who, Me? is dedicated to that moment when you realise you're about to do something silly but are unable to stop yourself.

The year was 1986. Halley's Comet had graced the skies (and the European Space Agency's Giotto probe had taken a close look). "West End Girls" by The Pet Shop Boys was troubling the popular music charts and a software company called "Microsoft" went public at the price of $21 per share.

[2]

It was also the year of the UK's [3]Big Bang , the moment London's stock market would be deregulated and an electronic trading system replace the open-outcry traditions of old.

It is difficult to comprehend the colossal impact the change would have, and the financial houses affected were frantically testing the systems required to do business in this brave new financial world. Which is where today's contributor, "David" (not his name), comes in.

[4]

"Yours truly was working on a completely unrelated application whilst the Big Testing was being carried out at what was then the biggest institution in the city.

"All the work was being done using virtual machines on IBM mainframes, so in theory it was all isolated from each other."

Theory was, however, about to run headlong into the reality of that split second between thought and action.

As is often the case in the IT world, David needed to reboot the virtual machine he was working on. He checked with the operators if that would be OK and was told all was fine. Go right ahead. "I had no second thoughts," he told us.

"There is a time," he said, "between when your brain commits to a physical action, such as pressing the return key, and the actual action taking place.

"During that time, I heard one of the operators suddenly shout 'NO!'

"My brain knew not to do it, but my finger carried on."

Oh dear. It transpired that a critical bit of low-level communications were being routed through the VM David was working on: "For no explainable reason apart from the fact that it was there."

The result of the reboot was catastrophic. The stock exchange (or rather the test version) fell over into a heap. The financial media had a field day and David noted (with a bit more pride than is strictly necessary): "I can claim that I made the pages of the national financial papers."

An early example of "this is why we test" – one can but hope that when things went live nothing was reliant on a VM being prodded by David.

As for the repercussions following David's reboot and the subsequent downing of systems, "the internal investigation yielded little result," he said, "since the only people in the room had either restarted the machine or given permission for the machine to be restarted and it was deemed better that neither side say anything."

Until now, that is.

[5]

Ever experienced that slowing of time when your digits inched toward "Execute" while a co-worker cried out "Noooooo" in comedy fashion? Or were you that co-worker, powerless to stop a colleague from doing something very, very silly? Share your tale with an email to [6]Who, Me? ®

Get our [7]Tech Resources



[1] https://www.theregister.com/Tag/who-me

[2] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_datacentre/servers&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=2&c=2YDOOy5T9sUb-IyS5roIWzQAAAEo&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D2%26raptor%3Dcondor%26pos%3Dtop%26test%3D0

[3] https://www.investopedia.com/terms/b/bigbang.asp

[4] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_datacentre/servers&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=3&c=33YDOOy5T9sUb-IyS5roIWzQAAAEo&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D3%26raptor%3Deagle%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0

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[6] mailto:whome@theregister.com

[7] https://whitepapers.theregister.com/

DwarfPants

That would be an OhNoOh Second.

Definition: The gap between some irreversible action and the realisation it is a bad thing

Microsecodn

John Riddoch

I'm reminded of this Dork Tower strip: http://www.dorktower.com/2011/10/24/dork-tower-monday-october-24-2011/

More related to the act of spotting your typo just as you hit "send" on an email, but in the same vein...

Re: Microsecodn

muddysteve

Done the email thing many times.

Re: Done the email thing many times.

Anonymous Coward

And somehow even having a 10 minute edit windows doesn't fix the issue.

Ignisecond, n.:

jake

The overlapping moment of time when the hand is locking the car door even as the brain is saying, "my keys are in there!" —Rich Hall, "Sniglets"

Re: Ignisecond, n.:

diguz

this is why my car (2 years old) shouts at me like an angry whale if i leave the smartkey-thingy inside and lean on the door while just talking with someone (i suppose it's got a pressure sensor) without meaning for it to lock...

Re: Ignisecond, n.:

Electronics'R'Us

One of the places I worked at in the late 90s into early 2000s was a spinoff from SRI (which used to be RCA labs) in NJ.

The place was populated, to a great extent, with PhDs who typically were incredible researchers but with almost zero common sense and perhaps no concept of what was actually going on around them..

They retained a locksmith on staff to open up cars that had been locked with the keys still inside (and often with the engine left running). They also had a group of those nice people in white coats to help staff who needed some extra mental health treatment.

UCAP

Otherwise referred to as the OhSh*t second, although that also includes the shortest measurable time unit (i.e. the between you pressing the button and everything starting to collapse in the heap).

Virtual Machines on an IBM Mainframe?

QuiteEvilGraham

It's been a while, but wouldn't you IPL a guest operating system in a virtual machine, not bootstrap, and hit the enter key, not the return key?

Just last week....

J.G.Harston

Remotely fixing a user's system. User on phone "I just need to pop out for a hour". That's ok, I don't need you.

tapitty tapitty tappitty. Hmmm.... network issues... tapitty tapitty... that hasn't worked.... tappitty.... I'll just refresh the IP address...... ARRFGFGFG!!!! UGGBER!

Doctor Syntax

"Who, me?"

Well, in this case, not you, "Dave" but whoever said it was OK to reboot.

But not doubt an issue of clean underwear for all concerned.

Why is it taking so long for her to bring out all the good in you?