News: 1610373672

  ARM Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life (Terry Pratchett, Jingo)

Fearing she had stumbled across a body, dogwalker reports pota-toe to police

(2021/01/11)


The game is... a potato? That's how it turned out to be for a dogwalker from the Tyne and Wear town of Gateshead in North East England.

Word has reached Vulture Towers that a pro-tuber-ance in muddy soil was reported to Northumbria Police last Tuesday because it looked distressingly like human remains lay beneath.

[1]

Things got off to a strong starch as cops dutifully scoured the area with search dogs in the dark.

But all parties were in for a root awakening when it was discovered that the "toe" poking out from the ground was actually more of a "pota-toe" – as described by the force in an a-peel to humour.

Looks like a pota-toe! 🦶🥔

A call about human remains sparked a large-scale police response – only for the human toe to be identified as a potato.

The call was made in good faith and we'd always encourage you to report suspicious items 📲

Read more 👉 [2]https://t.co/28Rw7YNkVq [3]pic.twitter.com/MCKSbNhUxE — Northumbria Police (@northumbriapol) [4]January 8, 2021

Did officers have a chip on their shoulder about the waste of police time? They were just glad not to find pota-ankles deeper down.

Inspector Phil Hamlani [5]told the BBC : "The person who called this in was very concerned and in the picture she sent to us, the object did look like it could be human remains.

"It was already dark by the time we got a call and so we had to deploy search teams to track down the scene to rule out any foul play.

"The search team did have a chuckle when they realised it was a potato, but the call was made in good faith and we can only praise the vigilance of the woman who made the call."

It all boils down to this: The woman must have felt like she was at the thin end of a wedge, coming upon what looked like a crime scene in her own bake yard.

Still, one hash to draw the line somewhere. With a little digging – even in the crisp winter air – she could have fried to solve the mystery all on her tot.

[6]

OK, we're done. Game, set, mash. ®

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[1] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_bootnotes/front&sz=300x250%7C300x252%7C300x600&tile=3&c=33X-yEKY9e6T3NCn@6-@tx4wAAAJY&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D3%26raptor%3Deagle%26pos%3Dtop%26test%3D0

[2] https://t.co/28Rw7YNkVq

[3] https://t.co/MCKSbNhUxE

[4] https://twitter.com/northumbriapol/status/1347491153529208832?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

[5] https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-55585065

[6] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_bootnotes/front&sz=300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251&tile=4&c=44X-yEKY9e6T3NCn@6-@tx4wAAAJY&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D4%26raptor%3Dfalcon%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0

[7] https://whitepapers.theregister.com/

Dau!!! (phinoise)

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse

Perhaps the woman should have tried to talk to the body, perhaps it would have Mutter(ed) - "H-aloo"

Sorry. I'm going now.

Re: Dau!!! (phinoise)

Version 1.0

Aloo gobi is a vegetarian dish so the body would not have talked back.

If kids found it

chivo243

They'd poke it with a stick and discovered it wasn't a toe. Wouldn't they?

Toes Up!

Easy mistake to make for some

Dabooka

I mean if she's from Winlaton there's a reasonable chance she's never seen an actual potato before, unless it's chipped and fried.

Anonymous Coward

I was hoping to be first early with this comment but looks like I'm late

Doctor Syntax

Not late, just main crop.

Racists!

ThatOne

> only for the human toe to be identified as a potato

So potatoes are of lesser importance than humantoes?

Re: Racists!

Arthur the cat

So potatoes are of lesser importance than humantoes?

Unless they're Jersey Royals.

Maybe it was Mrs Potato head

Andy Non

and she thought it was her husband's body?

She acted sensibly

Version 1.0

She saw something suspicious and reported it to people who are trained to investigate, had it been a real toe and she'd dug it up it could have messed up the investigation.

In Tech terms, think about seeing something odd in a program, do you report the "bug toe" the developer or do you open a hex editor and patch the app?

Re: She acted sensibly

Dr_N

Valid point. If she'd dug it up she'd have had spud on her hands for sure.

Re: She acted sensibly

Ben Tasker

> She saw something suspicious and reported it to people who are trained to investigate

We recently, while walking the dog, found something odd, round and metal being exposed in the sand by the tide.

I dug down the side of it a little way to try and find markings/clues of what it was, but it just grew in width and went quite deep.

So, we called the rozzers, who said "don't like the look of that" and called EOD. They came, decided to leave it overnight (as the tide was going to cover it) and revisit in the morning. The local paper ran a story about a suspected mine being found on the beach.

The next morning, EOD came back and started work on it. In the pictures you can see where they've carefully excavated around the edge of it.

Turns out it was an old, upturned metal bucket....

But, a week after, there was a story in the paper about someone who'd found some unknown metal objects on the beach and taken them home. Turns out they were old grenades, which then proceeded to explode in their kitchen.

If it's suspicious, there's only so much you can really interfere with it - it's better to err on the side of caution than to leave something lying around.

Anonymous Coward

To be fair, if I saw a potato sticking out the ground, I'd too think it was a job for the Peelers.

hoola

But only in Northern Ireland (unless the term has been buried in these new times of harmony and goodwill),

Dave 126

Some folk suggest the colloquialism 'coppers' derives from Robert Peel's Auburn ginger hair. Peelers, for coppers, from the same chap.

Sceptic Tank

She obviously thought something was a foot.

Perfectly understandable...

Jonathan Richards 1

See a potato... send for the Peelers!

Mine's the late Victorian ulster, thank you so much.

the conspi'tards would ask

Efer Brick

"was it counted in the CoVid statistics?"

If thumbthing can go wrong....

Daedalus

This is just a good example of Murphy's Law in action.

oh dear

Anonymous Coward

Good job she didn't see its eyes protubering, she really would have called the copssprout for that, there would have been terrifrite scene.

Consultant, n.:
An ordinary man a long way from home.