Lay down your souls to the gods of rock 'n' roll: Conspiracy theorists' 5G 'vaccine' chip schematic is actually for a guitar pedal
- Reference: 1609850108
- News link: https://www.theregister.co.uk/2021/01/05/5g_vaccine_chip_boss_metal_zone_mt2/
- Source link:
We imagine this is the thought process of conspiracy theorists who have misappropriated a schematic for [2]Boss's legendary MT-2 Metal Zone as the active ingredient in the coronavirus vaccines rolling out, despite really quite tell-tale signs that it is, in fact, a guitar pedal.
Red Hat engineer (there's your IT angle) Mario Fusco took it upon himself to break the good news to COVID deniers.
Here in Italy people started to share this figure claiming that this is the diagram of the 5G chip that has been inserted in the covid vaccine.
In reality it is the electric circuit of a guitar pedal and I believe that putting it in the covid vaccine has been an excellent idea💡 [3]pic.twitter.com/qXKnv7VVly — Mario Fusco 🇪🇺 (@mariofusco) [4]December 28, 2020
"Excellent idea," hey? Well, it depends where you stand on the MT-2, which is one of the most loved and maligned pedals around. It's just too twiddly to settle on a balanced sound. Your correspondent remembers vividly the frustration of his prog metal bandmates as his amp filled the cattle shed where we practised with incessant hissing and feedback – a fact not lost on the Twitter commentariat.
"Trust me, that ain't curing anybody of anything, except maybe good tone," [5]said one , adding: "Seriously though, what do these people think the 'footswitch' refers to?"
Bill Gates debunks 'coronavirus vaccine is my 5G mind control microchip implant' conspiracy theory [6]READ MORE
This correspondent was an "everything to 11" kind of guy when he was 18, and in many ways still is.
So how do the covidiots explain the glaring references to audio terms in their theories? Accompanying text was said to claim: "The chip consists of only four processors and four transistors.
"The signal through the 5G network enters on the left on the INPUT. That's how they control you.
"The BASS and TREBLE controls adjust the instructions that can be heard in the head, every man is different and, depending on whether you are a woman or a man, can ask you to adjust the frequency."
OK then. Though it's true that the vaccine rollout could do with a rock 'n' roll injection, we'll give the crackpots that.
Meanwhile, the country has entered its second full lockdown so The Register would prescribe molten guitar leads to get you through yet another day that is exactly the same as the one before. ®
Get our [7]Tech Resources
[1] https://www.theregister.com/2020/07/24/bill_gates_debuts/
[2] https://www.boss.info/uk/products/mt-2/specifications/
[3] https://t.co/qXKnv7VVly
[4] https://twitter.com/mariofusco/status/1343547724013187072?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw
[5] https://twitter.com/benjamindeery/status/1345764064203591681
[6] https://www.theregister.com/2020/07/24/bill_gates_debuts/
[7] https://whitepapers.theregister.com/
Doh!
Never underestimate the deep stupidity of conspiracy theorists. They will always be able to astonish us.
Re: Doh!
They aren't deeply stupid. It's just that their thought processes are controlled by electromagnetic waves from Venus, so they suffer from crippling latency.
Re: Doh!
Never underestimate the deep stupidity of conspiracy theorists
HUH??? WHAT ARE YOU SMOKING??????
I mean, it's COMMON KNOWLEDGE that the Boss MT-2 Metal Zone pedal was used by AC/DC's Angus Young 1 on the solo of "INJECT THE VENOM"!!!!!!!!
COINCIDENCE????!!!!!! WAKE UP SHEEPLE 2 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1 Yes I know, in reality Angus wouldn't soil his guitar sound with moshy Boss transistor crassness, the only things he used were valves, valves, and more valves...
2 Obligatory XKCD - https://xkcd.com/1013/
Re: Doh!
upvoted for a brilliant xkcd.
Re: Doh!
Yes, but the true, diehard conspiracy theorists are now saying that someone intercepted the graphic and reimposed a guitar pedal circuit diagram to make them look stupid.
Golden Rule #1: Never try to disprove a conspiracy theorist as all you are doing is to confirm to them that everyone really is out to get them.
Re: Doh!
"Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience."
- Mark Twain
Each day I am further scared by the creations of my fuck witted colleagues, in humanity.
Social media
Getting more like socially mediocre. I'll carry on giving it a miss
Re: Social media
Have you seen the film Idiocracy?
Re: Social media
Film? God, I thought it was a documentary...
Re: Social media
Not yet, but sooooooooon [tm]
Re: Social media
No, I beg to differ - Idiocracy is already here and putting up fortifications and digging in.
Re: Social media
I hear your comment said by the Epic Voice Guy from YouTube's "Honest Trailers".
If only this would stop the theorists, but they'll say it's a deep state conspiracy to undermine them and move on. Also if they're proper gear heads they'll argue over whether or not an analog or digital pedal is better and what sort of NOS opamps it should have had and how much better it would have sounded it it was made by hand with germanium transistors and carbon resistors.
A volume control on these nutcases might not be the worst idea in the world though......
Molten guitar leads
Just don't look at his face: [1]Gary Moore's last live performance of Parisienne Walkways
[1] https://youtu.be/FiuQ1EbrT94
Rock and roll!
That must be
One helluva needle to get a foot pedal into your arm. I bet it's a painful shot too.
The most useful effect would be a mute button for a fair percentage of the population.
Re: That must be
The most useful effect would be a mute button for a fair percentage of the population.
Which is already there. You just have to make sure that if the body happens to be found there are absolutely no traces leading back to you.
Re: That must be
One helluva needle to get a foot pedal into your arm. I bet it's a painful shot too.
The French will probably take it as a suppository. Possibly a little less painful, but still not ideal.
what process node is this fabricated on? I'm super excited that someone has managed to implement a 10uF electrolytic capacitor in silicon.
what process node is this fabricated on?
I'm super excited that someone has managed to implement a 10uF electrolytic capacitor in silicon.
Could be a thick-film circuit[0], with 10uF ceramics in 0805.
[0] very appropriate when dealing with conspiracy thickos.
These kinds of devices must be stomped on!
Now their secret is known, I bet they're back peddling like mad...
Biggest problem is the feedback loop.
Ha ha ha.... but it's not funny
Ha ha, its funny, except it isn't.
Q. How many people need to take the vaccine for herd immunity?
https://www.forbes.com/sites/rachelsandler/2020/12/24/how-many-americans-need-to-get-vaccinated-to-reach-herd-immunity-it-could-be-90-fauci-says/
"Dr. Anthony Fauci said Thursday that 90% of the population may need to be immune in order to stop the coronavirus from spreading, a marked increase from estimates earlier in the pandemic that put the figure closer to 60-70%"
Q. How many US Americans are prepared to be vaccinated?
https://www.mediamatters.org/coronavirus-covid-19/tucker-carlsons-history-pushing-vaccine-conspiracy-theories
"Fox News’ Tucker Carlson has ramped up misleading anti-vaccine conspiracy theories on his nightly prime-time show as the latest polls show ONLY HALF of Americans are willing to take a coronavirus vaccine"
Half. Not enough people in the US will take the vaccine to suppress the virus, even if only 60% needed to take it to get herd immunity, Fox News has spewed enough lies to keep it below that.
Without the vaccine 1 in 100 people will die, R0 is greater than 1 and it will inevitably spread. Fox News will kill 1% of the population.
With the vaccine, 1 in ~1500 people will die, but R0 is way less than 1 and it will fizzle out quickly, millions of lives saved.
IF YOU LET IT SPREAD, IT MUTATES and it will evolve immunity to the vaccine. UK is not safe from the liars on Fox News. You had your own newly evolved strain come up, and thankfully it still responds to the vaccine. Next time you might not be so lucky. Fox News can potentially keep it going, long enough to evolve new strains that are immune from the vaccine.
Also notice how the right wing press no longer pretends "evolution" is just a theory. Republicans couldn't wait to get their vaccine shots! It's pure politics, if they can keep the disease going, they can blame the people they killed with their lies on Biden as a political strategy to win the next election. They don't care about the people they kill with their lies.
----------
If you don't see how much damage liars on Fox News and in the Republican media can do, can I remind you of mask rollout and social distancing. New Zealand did pandemic control, R0 fell to 0.4 and poof the virus burned itself out, and they were disease free.
Meanwhile in the US.
Masks don't work claims Laura Ingraham:
https://twitter.com/MattGertz/status/1265623865105006592
The cure is worse than the disease, says Fox News Scott Atlas, as he intentionally tries to spread the virus:
https://www.foxnews.com/media/coronavirus-cure-worse-disease-scott-atlas
Social Distancing doesn't work says Fox News:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZddwdDo9zg
They managed to undermine simple public health measures that could eliminate the disease in a few weeks if done properly. Those 686,000 people didn't need to die, Fox News doesn't just help kill its own viewers, it's killing their relatives too.
686,000 = current projected US deaths by April 1st assuming aggressive rollout of the vaccine:
https://www.wcvb.com/article/us-coronavirus-deaths-are-projected-to-reach-567-000-by-april-even-amid-vaccine-rollout/35066788
TV Liars spewing TV lies in order to intentionally spread a deadly disease to kill people for gain.
Sponsored by
https://www.mediamatters.org/fox-news/these-are-fox-news-leading-advertisers
Procter & Gamble.
Amazon
Kraft Heinz
Pfizer (!)
Best Buy
Sandals Resorts
PetSmart
Liberty Mutual
Allstate
Progressive
Verizon
Abbott
General Motors
Carvana
Noom
Novartis
Track and Trace
"...and here is the component you have been blathering on about. See! It is ever so slightly bigger than can conceivably be administered through one of your orifices let alone an hypodermic needle"
"Yeah, but where's the miniaturised version?"
"Err, the chips in here are about as small as they can be. This is as miniature as it gets"
"I don't believe you. Chappie10 has all the details on his blog"
"Yeah, about Chappie10, seems he isn't the man you believe lives in New York and has a post doctorate in applied physics, but a troll by the name of Sergei, who avoided the Siberian salt mines by agreeing to sit in front of a Kremlin laptop and dish out crap to fuckwits like yourself"
"I'm no fuckwit"
"I'm sorry, but NASA used Galileo to track you, and I think these pictures prove beyond all doubt. You're a fuckwit"
"NASA tracks people?"
"Not everyone. Just the President of the United States"
Re: Track and Trace
That was a long wait for the punch line, but worth it.
sounds like a good idea
if it were true and the vaccine contains this chip, it would instantly double the intelligence of the idiots who believe these theories
double the intelligence
But double fuck all is still fuck all!
Xkcd has an asnwer
Or is it Dilbert? But I cant find it. "Never underestimate the power of carefully crafted BULLSHIT"
what 'footswitch' refers to
Isn't that obvious? It swaps the nerve connections with your feet so trying to move your left foot actually moves your right. This makes walking and running really hard until you get used to it but you can still bound like a kangaroo.
"adjust the frequency"
Kenneth, what's the frequency?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dan_Rather#%22Kenneth,_what_is_the_frequency?%22
Most of the time
I try to follow advice on being nice to these sort of people in the hope of persuading one or two to actually think about it for a while. This is just too good an opportunity to laugh though so I am going to give vent to my desire to point and laugh at the real sheeple.
I wondered why the side effects had "A strong desire to listen to heavy metal." listed.
Easy to turn that around
This is a very obvious "false flag" disclosure deliberately designed to be blatently untrue in order to discredit those who are warning us of the terrible truth about the mind-control vaccine due to be delivered via 5G. The *real* chip is based upon quantum entanglement and anchors itself to your brain neurons using a strong titanium blockchain. The schematic can be found only in the 42nd dimension (second floor, left at the end of the corridor, ask for Schrodinger).
The schematic can be found only...
Hey, I found it! But there was a warning on it that said "Beware of the Leopard."
One can't help but wonder where the input / output jacks and knobs will be placed when these are installed in humans. Because the knobs are really "how they control you."
I'm not personally a fan of the Metal Zone; it's harsh, buzzy, overly loud, and generally unpleasant to listen to. However, that's a pretty apt description of 5G anti-vaxx conspiracy types, so I can see why they chose it. Pity that Boss pedals are not true bypass.
I'll just leave this here
Well I'm sick and tired of hearing 'bout the world and it's hang ups
Gonna get myself together, take a ride downtown
Gotta see my Rock'n'Roll doctor
Gotta see my Rock'n'Roll doctor
Gotta see my Rock'n'Roll doctor
Gotta see him, see him today
He's gonna blow me away
Wah Wah Wah Waaaaaaaaaah
New term to coin, Raise you arm above your head and rotate it: Air News.