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  ARM Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life (Terry Pratchett, Jingo)

Behold the drive-thru of the California Highway Patrol: Fry me a river, has 'CHIPS' stopped working again?

(2020/11/30)


Bork!Bork!Bork! Welcome to another in our series of digital signage behaving poorly. Today, the revelation through the medium of Windows that "chips" is, of course, the correct word for delicious bits of fried potato.

There's a saying in the Bork office, located deep within the bowels of Vulture Central: "It's not McDonald's. It can't be McDonald's…"

"It's McDonald's."

Today is no exception, as the patty pusher reveals that lurking at its heart is not a large portion of fries, but a generous helping of borked CHIPS.

[1]

Click to enlarge

Spotted by Register reader Jamie at the McDonald's drive-thru in Preston, Lancashire back in October, the optimism of a promise that someone would be "right with you" is belied by what looks all the world to us like a Windows 7 app in distress.

While the dialog may be a reference to the disastrous movie adaption of the delightful US TV cheesefest [2]CHiPs , we suspect that whatever runs behind the scenes of the fry flinger's drive-thru screen has taken a tumble.

For those unfamiliar with the American television show, CHiPs was concerned with the adventures of a pair of California Highway Patrol officers named Ponch and Jon and ran for six seasons from 1977 to 1983. Best not mention the 2017 feature film of the same name and its sub header: "Chip Happens." Something did happen, but it wasn't good (in the opinion of this hack, at least.)

Sadly, not only is the operating system on which we suspect things are failing high up on Microsoft's naughty list, the service of CHIPS has stopped. A large chunk of the fast food outlet's raison d'être.

But what, we wonder, could CHIPS stand for, if not for chipped potatoes? Chewing Hard Indigestible Potato Skins, perhaps?

The comments section is available for anyone with a backronym suitable for a family publication like El Reg .

In the meantime, we await the next platter of bork to be flung from McDonald's. It seems to have rather a lot. ®

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[1] https://regmedia.co.uk/2020/11/26/bork_7.jpg

[2] https://www.imdb.com/video/vi1253966105

[3] https://whitepapers.theregister.com/

R J

CHefs Industrialized Potatoe Strips

Fruit and Nutcase

Dan Quayle, is that you?

Scotthva5

Commercial Hospital-grade Inedible ProductS

Roger Kynaston

Crispy Hyper Incised Pattie Service.

Manglemender

Customer Health Improvement Prevention System?

Since it is McDonald's ...

macjules

Computer Helps In Preventing Service

Thus ensuring you are blocked from receiving a dose of mechanically recovery chlorinated chicken, fries like soggy blotting paper and milkshakes that should come with the warning, "Animal of origin unknown".

The Chips are down

Fruit and Nutcase

Big Mac, you're on your own

Goodbye

Fruit and Nutcase

Mr Chips

"Welcome to McBorkald's: Over 8 Billion Borked!"

Antonius_Prime

Should be a headline on one of the next McBorkage's...

Chips Have no Implication of Potato Starch

richardcox13

So much processing applied that there is little remaining link to the original ingredients.

Re: Chips Have no Implication of Potato Starch

Muscleguy

There are other things in there as well. If you look on the website the fries are not listed as gluten free. I strongly suspect they dip their anaemic scrawny potato pieces in flour to better crisp them up and of course allow the use of cheaper quality spuds.

I’ve done that with sweep potato fries. GF flour, sweet potato flour in fact, touted as a crisperising agent.

Chewing Hard Indigestible Potato Skins, perhaps?

heyrick

I should be so lucky. I have gone off the place. One lukewarm undersized burger and half filled (if I'm lucky) pack of chips too many and, sorry, I'll take my intestines elsewhere.

No chips for you!

You aint sin me, roit

No fries either.

Ochib

Common Hybrid Interface Protocol System (CHIPS) perhaps

Do you want fries...?

Wyrdness

Those proper chips in your image look infinitely better than the horrible thin fries that Macdonalds serves. I'm feeling hungry just looking at them.

https://regmedia.co.uk/2015/06/05/chips_teaser.jpg

Re: Do you want fries...?

Gene Cash

They used to be a hell of a lot better until a SJW named Phil Sokolof got to 'em and made McDonald's stop... well... actually frying them.

https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/original-mcdonalds-french-fry-recipe

Wikipedia doesn't say how Sokolof died, but I can only hope it was a slow painful lingering heart attack. I hates him, I does, my precious. I pray he's burning in hell in a pool of beef tallow.

CHiP's re-run on Forces TV

Anonymous Coward

Crikey, I woke up at 3:00am this morning and CHiPs was on Forces TV. Season 3, episode 5.

The good old days, building my ZX80 and Maplin 5600s, while watching CHiPs.

Crikey, Hell is Probably Saltless

wheelbearing

As they won't serve with salt any more..

Well, hey, let's just make everything into a closure, and then we'll
have our general garbage collector, installed by "use less memory".
-- Larry Wall in <199710221744.KAA24484@wall.org>