News: 1604650511

That is a typical example of a vampire user; too lazy to think their way through even the simplest of problems when they can whine at someone else to think for them so they suck on the abilities of others.

Exactly - first time, you've demonstrated that

a) there's a power switch

b) it's easy to check / flip

So why is the first instinct, on the next instance, to call support rather than just check? Gah!

But did they demonstrate it? Or did they walk in, fix it, and then walk off without telling anyone what the problem or solution was, because that's what we usually get from our helpdesk

Turning it off and on again regularly? Sounds like the kind of IT auto fix. If we had PCs that rebooted every time someone sat down to do some work help desk calls would halve.

Such a situation requires taking the printer away to be inspected, informing the user^w vampire a couple of days later that it needs to be serviced and it will be back in 2-3 weeks. Repeat as many times as needed.

Pretty much my introduction to the helldesk. User had an intermittent problem caused by their keyboard getting stuck under the monitor, depressing one key. And when they picked up the phone to call support, they had to move the keyboard, fixing the problem until the next time.

Back then I didn't have the experience to figure it out, so that was the first use I ever had for the shovel and bag of lime.

There's normally a roll of old carpet that needs disposing of, but you try claiming for the shovel and lime on expenses...

Creative naming.

It's not lime, it's an ISO-compliant server room desiccant.

And it's not a shovel, but a high volume Low Order Analogue Media transfer device, with CLA/Y* adaptations.

(Corporate Liability Avoidance, Y-class)

Every IT department needs an Earth Inverter, surely.

A manually-operated, pedal-force augmented, composite soil transfer and reshaping implement.

Back in the day I worked on a lot of T-carrier stuff. I can't tell you how many times an owner/client ranted about a shiny new (fractional) T1/E1 link being down, how the equipment was shit, the field guys were incompetent, and how pretty much everybody involved with the installation should be taken out behind the barn & horsewhipped. Most of the time[0], it was an incorrectly set loopback switch on the new node. Seems bosses in general can't resist flipping switches ... and can't read blinkenlights.

Sometimes I'd casually reached out and toggle the loopback switch, thus fixing the link and painting the boss's face an interesting shade of red when I presented him with the bill reading nothing more than "Call out. Flipped loopback switch. $1,000" on an official invoice.

But once in a while, after inspecting the node, I'd stand aside & motion the boss through the door before me. While he had his back to me, I'd flip the switch ... and we'd go off to his office for a chat about fixing the obviously broken machine. I'd let him rant on for several minutes, around 20 was the record, but always ending up with "so what are you going to do about it, then?". To which I would quietly reply "Oh, I've already fixed it. We'll invoice you for the call out". Sometimes the resulting sputtering reached epic proportions ...

[0] The rest of the time it was a cable that had fallen out of the CSU/DSU because it hadn't been screwed down properly. We always took the blame for that, even if it was their guys bolting stuff together. We've all done it, we're only human, I'll take the blame, no charge ... sometimes it's handy to have a friendly couple of faces in a client's datacenter who probably won't ever try to throw you under a bus.

What happened when you flopped the switch, went to the bosses office, let him chew you out, you then state its fixed AND its not fixed?

Never happened. I can read blinkenlights.

Cruel, but appropriate and necessary.

A long time ago there was a PDP11/70 with an intermittent crashing problem. Engineers were called out to scratch their heads, mutter under their breaths, and leave the problem unfixed.

Eventually, by accident, one of the engineers happened to swing the rear door panel of the cabinet out of the way so he could get past. The 11/70 promptly crashed.

It transpired that there was a cable that was disturbed when said panel blew in the aircon breeze. The cable was replaced and all was happy until it rained.

(The machine room was underground and the building covered an old stream which occasionally resurfaced in the far corner)

Ah, the good ol' let's put all the expensive electronics in the only room that can get flooded decision.

Amazing how quickly the floorplan can get changed after a good rain.

Many years ago (around 40) I worked for the UK part of an international oilfield services company (on the manufacturing side, not IT, I hasten to add). We had a fairly powerful IBM mainframe controlling operations, with dumb terminals around the offices and workshops, punch card readers at strategic manufacturing stages, etc. This computer recorded orders, receipts, inventory, production routing, material issues, traceability, nonconformances, etc. Central to the whole operation and backed up overnight via a satellite link to HQ in the good 'ol USofA.

It wasn't set in a basement - it had its own purpose-built building. However, whoever designed it overlooked a couple of features:

- It had a sealed and bunded floor (to avoid risk of water entering);

- It has water pipes running through it (and no convenient stop cock).

One of the pipes has a plastic section. One day a maintenance muppet decided that section would take his weight when he needed to reach up high...

It was just chance that all the susceptible kit was about an inch higher than the step out through the door. Production still suffered that day as IT weren't taking chances keeping things running while maintenance were baling!

Many moons ago, a certain broadcaster built an isolated studio suspended on springs within an outer building. Site was next to a canal, so high groundwater levels. "Never mind we will (a) tank it, and (2) put in an emergency float-activated pump in case the tank fails". During a wet period, the tanking fails, basement floods, float switches on pump, pump cannot initially keep up, float continues to rise and eventually flips over, switching OFF the pump.

Fukushima Daiichi nuclear disaster and emergency generators

[Icon, because nearly]

My present abode had a ground source heat pump, brilliant piece of kit but...

It's mounted behind the house, about 4 inches lower than the adjacent patio. The garden slopes up form there to a field and the local impervious clay is an inch or two below the surface. Cue really heavy rain not long after I moved in and I could see the water running down the so-called lawn in streams. Mine only flooded to just below the mains power, the next door neighbour's one tripped the electrics so she's on her own with a young child and no heating or hot water. She did the sensible thing, turned everything off and went back to her parents!

All the builder shad to do was make sure the heat pump base was level with , or above, the patio.

My current office building had a small stream through a basement corridor when it rained, although it's since been fixed (was a leak in next door's draining). My server room is in the basement, but worse, in the "sub-basement" is the electricity sub-station for the whole area... it actually has a "water detector" (a ping pong ball in a vertical tube with straws to let it move up but not back down again) in the corner...

One of our customers used to have a PC that had some stability issues. It rebooted every now and then without an obvious reason.

One day, I happened to have to check something at that PC. I sat down, slid the chair forward, felt my knee bump something, and the PC rebooted. Some slight rearranging of things so the reset switch wasn't right in front of the user's knee then fixed the problem.

Had a major corporation that was moving to using biometrics for user device logins (Finger prints login), in part to improve security, part to remove the users requirement to remember passwords which was problematic in this company and partly to demonstrate to their leadership that they were adopting high tech solution for security (!!).

The project itself for the design, implementation and deployment went pretty well and we started with a small group of high profile users first to test the technology (Before committing to a mass roll out). In this group was the CEO executive assistant (The one with real power :-) ).

First morning of the first day we get a call that the Exec Assistant could not login using finger print reader, a IT tech was duly dispatched - They said the finger print reader worked fine when the Exec Assistant tried it again when they got there.

Day 2, same issue reported by the Exec Assistant, same result when IT support etch went there, already got rumblings from Exec Assistant that she was not happy and thought this solution was wasting her time.

Reviewed other support calls and although some problems we understood the cause etc, no-one else had similar problem.

Day 3, same issue !!!!! It is at this point that I went to see Exec Assistant, to calm her down and to review the issue first hand. I was talking to the Exec Assistant about her morning routine to gain some insights into what was happening first thing in the morning - It was clear the CEO needed a lot of "looking after" and she would be in early and straight to work.

I asked the Exec Assistant (As it was January) did she wear gloves, she confirmed she did - She also confirmed that the first thing she did was login to her computer (Laptop - Which stayed in the office full time) and always did that before taking off her coat and gloves (So she could view messages etc - multi-tasking).

Being careful not to offend, suggested a slight change to her routine, gloves off first and then login with finger print - She had not connected the finger print requirement and having her bare finger being presented to the scanner, she had understood it just needed her finger to be "scanned".

A quick update to the training materials, guidance and FAQ's .......

We had a lot of fun with fingerprint readers. It was deemed a good way to get users too lazy to do a decent password to be secure only one problem. The build up of sweat or dirt would cause it to fail. The standard conversation was "the login is broken" -- "go wash your hands and it will work". We didn't singing happy birthday.

Similar call to our Prep School site, the printer in the Boarding kitchen office wasn't working, it's 10 miles down very rough b-roads to get there, but it's not too far out of the way that I can't do the run on my way home, so I said I'd be there about 6pm

No, she says, I need it fixing now so I can print menus, so I get in the car, 40 minutes later I'm stood looking at a Brother printer with a power lead sitting in the paper output tray.

Err, that's the printer power lead, I point out

Yes, I have to unplug it to use the fan heater

Don't you think your printer will work better if you plug it back in

She didn't even blush, just blustered about it being a rough day etc etc...

User: "The printer's stopped working".

Me: "OK, let me just pop down." - thankfully only 1 floor below in the same building.

...

User: "The printer's stopped working. It was out of ink so I changed the cartridge but it's just printing blank pages with smudges on them.".

Anyone else guess the issue/solution?

1. Open printer.

2. Remove new, black as my heart toner cartridge.

3. Pull the (as bright as the sun) orange tab marked "Pull" and at the end of the big white arrow and text saying "Pull tab before fitting.".

4. Refit toner cartridge.

5. Manage to politely say "Try it now...".

6. Return to desk.

Surely moving the printer an inch is a very temporary fix as it may easily move back with people loading paper or changing toner and slamming the covers shut with their usual vigour. This sounds like a clear case for a molly-guard instead

Sounds like a good case for an orbital strike to me.

Yesterday: lady in flat next door ranting that "the boiler's broken, call an engineer!". Look at boiler. Move switch from 'hot water' to 'heating + hot water'.

"The user," he said, "had not made the connection of opening the drawer and the 'printer isn't working again'.

To be fair going over which drawers you've opened today its not the first thing on anybody's diagnostics list.

.

Checking its switched on however IS literally the first thing to do.

Ideally *before* ringing for help!

There’s the well known I assume tale of a user who couldn’t log in when standing up but if they sat down on their chair all was well and good. Carpets were ripped up looking for damaged wiring but nought to be found. In the end someone spotted that at some point two key caps had been transposed and when they typed their password when seated muscle memory took over but when standing up they were one-finger typing.