News: 1603704606

  ARM Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life (Terry Pratchett, Jingo)

IKEA Croydon likes things in pairs, from chimneys to bork

(2020/10/26)


IKEA may be the master of the flatpack and the neverending check-out queue but it seems to be struggling a bit with Windows 10 if this serving of Bork is anything to go by.

"Not a good weekend for IKEA Croydon," observed our reader as he snapped screens at the store in various states of distress and unhappiness.

At the entrance, Windows 10 is pleading with passersby to allow it to finish setting things up rather than tempting punters with the treats that await at the top of the stairs (spoiler: there are no treats, just meatballs and the sound of [1]relationships ending .)

[2]

Click to enlarge

The other looks like things for Microsoft's flagship operating system have gone sideways in a very real sense. Normally showing off the steaming delights available for purchase from the in-store restaurant, the screen instead shows what happens when a tree falls in a forest and there is no one around to hear it: somewhere, somehow, a copy of Windows 10 crashes.

There must be a logger's delight of fallen trees out there.

[3]

Click to enlarge

In this instance the "Automatic repair" is not quite so automated - a user needs to select an option - and we'd be very surprised if that is a touchscreen. And even if it were, just think of all the meatball juice that could be smeared over it.

The Croydon site itself predates Windows 10 by quite some way. In fact, the IKEA there, which replaced a power station demolished in 1991, predates even Windows 95. [4]The chimneys of the former structure remain, staring out over the Purley Way traffic jams like blue and yellow Eyes of Sauron.

The borkage within, however, brings things right up to date. A Swedish store serving up screens of bork. It's what [5]the Chef would have wanted. ®

Get our [6]Tech Resources



[1] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EozM4yidI_0

[2] https://regmedia.co.uk/2020/10/23/ikea-entrance2.jpg

[3] https://regmedia.co.uk/2020/10/23/ikea-store2.jpg

[4] https://www.google.com/maps/@51.3802649,-0.1252769,3a,75y,92.82h,90t/data=!3m6!1e1!3m4!1sDULa7YpF4Uo0j80jLPHlug!2e0!7i16384!8i8192

[5] https://youtu.be/sY_Yf4zz-yo

[6] https://whitepapers.theregister.com/

Predates Windows 95

Simon Harris

I can’t claim anything quite that old, but I have bookcases from that shop that predate Windows 98.

After 23 years they still work and have only needed one re-install after a house renovation.

Re: Predates Windows 95

MarkET

Still have a PC running Windows 98 to drive a couple of Yahama DB50 XG synth modules. Boots faster than my new laptop.

Automatic Repair . . .

First Light

. . is what you're going to need for your IKEA crap. Their stuff often seems so fragile.

Croydon is a UK city, not an IKEA product

EvaQ

... I thought IKEA Croydon was an IKEA product, like IKEA Billy or IKEA TRÅDFRI.

Sorry. I'm not British.

Re: Croydon is a UK city, not an IKEA product

katrinab

Croydon is a district in south London, not a city.

Re: Croydon is a UK city, not an IKEA product

Steve Davies 3

Croydon is a Borough in South London, not a city.

TFIFY.

I'm old enough to remember the gasworks that used to be on one side of the road (where Sainsbury's is from memory) and the power station that burned the coke produced by the gasworks.

Re: Croydon is a UK city, not an IKEA product

Anonymous Coward

ObCroydonJoke:

"I called my dog 'Croydon'"

"Why?"

(I lived in North Croydon, aka Thornton Heath, in the late 70's/early 80's. It was wonderfully cosmopolitan. I loved it)

Re: Croydon is a UK city, not an IKEA product

Adrian 4

If IKEA had a range of products named after London boroughs, what would they be ?

Croydon, due to a manufacturer of rubber products once popular in Woolworths, might be a bath plug.

Westminster might be a clock. Or a doorbell.

Conveniently

Neil Barnes

The recycle bins are close at hand...

"the sound of relationships ending"

terrythetech

I misread the first screen as "Let's finish setting up you divorce"

Being a BALD HERO is almost as FESTIVE as a TATTOOED KNOCKWURST.