Quick thinking and an explanation for everything - key CTO qualities
- Reference: 1603091709
- News link: https://www.theregister.co.uk/2020/10/19/who_me/
- Source link:
"Larry", for that is what the Regomiser has dubbed him, was a technical lead at a communications startup in the early part of this century. Clearly a valued member of staff, he was involved in the interview process for a new CTO after the previous one left under a bit of a cloud.
"He had misrepresented important details on his CV," remarked Larry, "He had been escorted off-premises carrying his cardboard box of possessions and his imitation samurai sword."
There was a delicious irony in this, since the CTO had fixed Larry with a steely gaze back in the day and told him to expect to be held accountable for his actions. "Sure," said Larry. "Shouldn't everybody be accountable for their actions?"
And so it was that a short time later the hunt was on for a replacement.
"We had a CTO candidate who seemed to walk the walk," remembered Larry, "He had documented experience in telecom. He had more credibility because he had less charisma. Early 50s, receding hairline, baggy khakis..."
We know the type all too well.
The final bit of the interview took place in a meeting room rammed to rafters with corporate bigwigs and a few select techies (including Larry.) The expectation was that a technical presentation would be forthcoming to show off the wannabe CTO's brilliance.
Suffice to say the candidate exceeded all expectations. Just not quite as expected.
"He proceeded to plug his laptop into the monitor cable and booted up," recalled Larry. To be fair, persuading a laptop of that vintage to talk to a projector was achievement enough, but the CTO hopeful had more in store.
The candidate was making small talk in the room and, importantly, maintaining good eye contact while electricity was introduced to silicon. He wasn't paying too much attention to his laptop.
"As the laptop came out of hibernation," recalled Larry, "it proceeded to display a plethora of explicit pornographic images on the large, expensive meeting room display screen."
There was a stunned silence in the room. Nervous glances were exchanged.
"The candidate," said Larry, "looked back at the risqué display but did not miss a beat."
"I've been travelling a lot, spending a lot of time in hotels," was the explanation and rationalisation. And with that, he was straight into his presentation.
Either through his demonstration of quick thinking in the face of certain disaster, or perhaps the desperation of the company, he got the job.
Ever had [2]Tiny Elvis pop up where he wasn't wanted? Or seen a career crash and burn after an accidental PowerPr0n presentation? Share your tale with an email to [3]Who, Me? ®
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I've been fired ...
... from consulting jobs several times after accidentally running across pR0n on C-level computers. Here's a re-write of [1]a post I made here on ElReg about ten years ago:
I know for an absolute fact that EVERY male college student's computer that I've worked on over the last 35 years or so has contained traces of porn. The coeds didn't start picking up on Internet porn in college until just over 20 years ago ... and now, they are nearly equal to the boys.
In business, over the last two and a half decades or so, probably 80% (or thereabouts) of all male middle to upper management PCs contain traces of Internet porn (in my experience). Female management started surfing porn just over a decade and a half ago, and are now equal to the men.
Not trying to justify it, nor vilify it, and likewise not drawing conclusions, just stating my observations. Do with them what you will.
[1] https://forums.theregister.com/forum/containing/780487
Re: I've been fired ...
Years ago, I used to get lots of links for questionable content\jokes in email from friends or colleagues, but strangely I can't remember when I received the last one. Maybe I'm getting old? or maybe I've not forwarded or contributed and am there for not on the list anymore?
Re: I've been fired ...
Thinking about it a bit, I also cant remember the last time I got any questionable content/jokes from work colleagues. Maybe it's because my current colleagues are a pretty boring bunch, but even before I changed jobs 5-6 years ago, I think the whole sending jokes/etc. had died in the old office (with colleagues who were certainly not boring!). Such things if they were done, were done over personal emails and not the work accounts. Much safer on the career that way...
Re: I've been fired ...
in my first job ~ 2000 friends and colleagues used to send questionable emails. Despite me asking to send to my hotmail address i regularly got dodgy mails to my government work address until one of the senders got sacked from his job at a college.
people nowadays just use Whats App.
Thsi story reminds me of ...
... that bloke fined (or was he actually sentenced) in Singapore or thereabouts for playing an adult video while stuck in a traffic jam on his way to the airport. The authorities had no problem with him watchting his favourite bag - they had a problem, though, with hundreds of other people watching it, as that hack was so bored he actually broke into a giant advertisement screen on the screen next to where his taxi was, erm, taking its stand, and played the PH stream there for everyone to see. The guy had, too, been staying in hotels, prior to said incident.
Tiny Elvis!
That takes me back.
Re: Tiny Elvis!
takes you back like a honky tonk angel?
Just me?
I keep my porn off my work phone and laptop and haven't used a company network for that purpose this century.
NASA, Mars and Sojourner ....
We had an important client coming to our large conference suite, it was an initial kick off meeting, the team were well rehearsed, we knew what we were going to present and everything was ready to go.
The sales guy was keen to show that we knew about the internet and kept asking if we could connect to the NASA Live Feed about the Sojourner Mars Rover (This was Circa 1997) - I said we could do that post the meeting but did not want to risk having a point in the presentation (We were using PowerPoint 97) that linked to an external internet page as PowerPoint 97 would sometimes bork itself.
10 minutes before the client came into the conference suite the sales guy had asked to make a change to the PPT, foolishly we let him .....
Que to client presentation, the massive BARCO projector was beaming in full VGA resolution and a new slide popped up with a link to www.nasa.com (Not nasa.gov) - Before we could stop the sales guy from clicking on it, up popped the National American Stripper Association (NASA) in all its glory !!
Suffice to say the meeting did not conclude as we expected and the Sales guy was in very hot water with his manager with pleads of how was I to know that www.nasa.com was not the same as www.nasa.gov
Unfortunately the really rather marvellous 1997 NASA.COM has long since gone and nasa.com has had some other websites since but none as inventive.
Projector test
Some time in the late 90s our team was tasked with testing a brand new projector with VGA input, and after a few successful tests in our darkened office we became curious as to how far the projection could reach. With a whole web server full of pr0n available, we picked a movie at random and projected it onto the white outer wall of the church opposite - the picture was bright enough for details, so the test took less than a minute.
Luckily that wall was on the backside of the church, so we were the only witnesses.
Anon to protect the others involved.
CTO = Chief Titillation Officer?
If so he definitely had the qualifications.