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  ARM Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life (Terry Pratchett, Jingo)

What the duck? Bloke keeps getting sent bathtime toys in the post – though Amazon won't say who's responsible

(2020/07/27)


A chap from County Durham in northeast England is suffering a very specific mallardy – one of rubber ducks sent to his home address from Amazon with alarming regularity.

[1]The Northern Echo reports that 76-year-old Peter Jackson has received a bathtime plaything "almost every day" for the better part of three weeks.

Among the mystery packages have also been cheese crackers and dog treats, which is fortunate because Jackson says he does own a dog, but the poor bloke hasn't the foggiest who is sending them or why.

Is there a storker in our midst? Amazon won't give up their identity because "customer confidentiality" yada yada. If only he could refuse to give his cygneture... but Jeff Bezos' etail monolith doesn't always work that way.

The offending toy can be purchased [2]here .

Jackson told the Echo [3]earlier this month : "It started about a fortnight ago, I received the two of these rubber ducks in the post.

"I thought nothing more of it, thought it was just a mistake with Amazon, then the next day another duck arrived, and they kept coming every day.

"I've now got a total of nine ducks – I don't even have a bath; I have got a walk-in shower.

"I don't really know what's going on."

Fast-forward to the weekend, and the case is yet to be quacked. The parcels continue, now with added messages like "For your boo boos xxx From Fake Doctor," and "DUCK, DUCK....QUACK From Goose."

The Register suspects Mr Jackson has left his details out in the open somewhere on the web and Echo readers have joined in on the fowl ruse. At £2.79 a pop, it's not an overly expensive prank, but we're not sure the bird-brained scheme is worth it.

"In the past week, I've had more rubber ducks, some Venison Chew Sticks for my dog and Scottish shortbread," he said. Waddle he do with the excess plastic? "I've been giving the ducks away to my son's wife, she has friends who have just had babies."

There have been suggestions that Jackson is the victim of a "brushing scam", where sellers create fake orders to boost their ratings and send the products to any old address. But Amazon denied that's what's happening, offering the Echo this poultry excuse:

"We have looked into the matter to ensure there is nothing webbed afoot. Mr Jackson is not going quackers, someone indeed is sending him rubber ducks. While we can't reveal the customers true feathers, we can assure Mr Jackson he will not be receiving a 'bill'."

Gawd, that's almost as bad as the rest of this article. The Reg contacted Amazon to confirm, and asked about the prevalence of such scams on the e-commerce site. ®

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[1] https://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/18602116.county-durham-man-still-receiving-yellow-ducks-amazon/

[2] https://www.amazon.co.uk/Munchkin-Rubber-Safety-White-Reveals/dp/B000GUZC2A/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3QA5E8A1S54N2&dchild=1&keywords=munchkin+white+hot+safety+rubber+bath+duck+toy&qid=1595845478&sprefix=munchkin+white+hot+%2Caps%2C161&sr=8-1

[3] https://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/18589526.i-dont-know-sending-them-76-year-old-puzzled-nine-mystery-ducks-arrive-post/

[4] https://whitepapers.theregister.com/

Chris G

Eider thought it was down to some chick who fancies a dabble but it must be driving him quackers.

Review stuffing

Pier Reviewer

It’s a known scam. Buy a load of cheap tat, giving a fake address. Get 100% buyer feedback. Convert account to a seller. Now you’ve got a seller account with loads of positive feedback. Totally trustworthy right?...

Re: Review stuffing

Ben Tasker

TFA *literally* mentions that and says Amazon have checked that it isn't that.

Re: Review stuffing

Pier Reviewer

Yeah. Poacher checks on hen house. Looks good gov’...

Wasn't decided feather to post a comment...

sorry, what?

before it took off in a flurry, or to avoid such fowl use of the forum. As you can seabird, I avian uff pecking puns to post. Nest time I'll flight the temptation. Prey for me.

Martin Summers

Whoever is spending that much money and effort on a prank must be on quack.

Other people are joining in the prank?

Emir Al Weeq

Oh no!

I've been receiving unsolicited Lamborghinis for the last two weeks. When is it ever going to stop?

I haven't a funny quip to add to all these.

Anonymous Coward

Sorry.

Nifty

He'll have to get all his ducks in a row to sort this one out.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.