News: 1591970349

  ARM Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life (Terry Pratchett, Jingo)

Bloke rolls up to KFC drive-thru riding horse-drawn cart only to be told: Neigh

(2020/06/12)


Wheezing Brits' neck rolls up and down the country quivered with delight this week as American fast-food chains were among the first businesses to emerge from the UK's coronavirus lockdown – but future coronary patients are only to be served from the safety of their cars.

If this hack's undisclosed location in the southeast of England is anything to go by, the reaction has bordered on hysteria. One McDonald's drive-thru has turned a whole corner of town into a no-go area if you actually hope to get home, with hour-long queues snaking down the road and around the roundabout. People must really need a Big Mac.

A similar phenomenon at KFC has also blocked this writer from parking at the adjacent Tesco Express to purchase essential goods, necessitating a longer and arguably more dangerous trip to a larger supermarket for milk and cat food.

One wonders if these grease fiends have ever heard of Deliveroo or Uber Eats, which will merrily put a poor driver in the firing line to collect your grub for you.

Come on baby light me on fire: McDonald's to sell 'Quarter Pounder' scented candles [1]READ MORE

Anyway, a result of drive-thrus opening has inevitably been that folk will turn up in, let's say, "creative" modes of transport – like this chap in the northern border city of Carlisle who ordered some of the Colonel's finest ahead of time, but was denied service on arrival. Because he was travelling by horse and cart.

'I couldn't read what it said'

Local tabloid The News & Star [2]reported in typical overwrought style that Ian Bell was "devastated" to be turned away, having waited patiently in the queue of cars with his nag Jon Jon.

Ian, from the nearby town of Silloth, told the paper: "Jon Jon is my world, he is an amazing horse and he is as quiet as a lamb. We come to Carlisle every night to help with his training.

"We go to McDonald's and have never had a problem, I just can't believe the way we were treated.

"When we got to the hatch the cashier just said my manager said I can't serve you and I had to leave the queue.

"I was humiliated, there are no signs up saying I can't go through and you're not able to go into the store.

"I don't understand what I did wrong."

Interestingly, Ian said someone came out to him and handed him "something written on some paper," to which he admitted: "I'm dyslexic and I couldn't read what it said."

He added: "While I was in the car park I asked a woman to read the signs to me. From what she told me and from what I can see there is nothing saying I'm not able to go through with Jon Jon and the cart."

But all's well that ends well – Ian and Jon Jon went to McDonald's instead, where they were again served with no issues.

'It's got lights, indicators, it's fully taxed and insured!'

And this will probably burst an artery of 66-year-old David Smith, from Bridlington on the East Riding of Yorkshire coast, who was first in line on opening day of McDonald's drive-thru, but was turned away because he was on a mobility scooter.

He raged at [3]The Scarborough News : "They told me it's not a vehicle. It's got lights, indicators, it's fully taxed and insured!"

The Royal Navy veteran, who cannot drive a car for six months following a knee operation, frequented the patty-pusher before the fires of industry stopped burning and eagerly arrived early to beat the crowds.

The customer next in line bought his order for him, but he was incensed to later discover that road-worthy mobility scooters are [4]indeed perfectly acceptable vehicles in which to collect McDonald's drive-thru orders. Note, however, that horse-drawn carts are not .

When David tried to visit the next day, he was turned away again by a security guard. Like we said, people really want their Big Macs.

McDonald's told the paper: "We apologise to this customer for the delay caused in using our Drive Thru.

"For everyone's safety, our restaurant team were checking that mobility scooters were permitted in the Drive Thru lane and, due to its road-going nature, in this case it was.

"Unfortunately, during this short delay the customer left, however we hope to welcome him back in the near future."

The Register asked KFC why Ian and Jon Jon were served at the Golden Arches, but could not be plied with Sanders' secret sauce in Carlisle. A spokesbeing responded: "Hold your horses, Carlisle. We're not looking to stirrup trouble and we're sorry for Ian and Jon Jon's experience – but the safety of our guests is really important, so we can't allow horse-drawn vehicles in our drive-thrus."

There you have it, straight from the horse's mouth. Naturally, we also asked McDonald's why Ian and Jon Jon got away with it on their watch. ®

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[1] https://www.theregister.com/2020/02/21/mcdonalds_scented_candles/

[2] https://www.newsandstar.co.uk/news/18511736.horse-refused-kfc/

[3] https://www.thescarboroughnews.co.uk/business/consumer/mobility-scooter-rider-who-was-first-queue-when-mcdonalds-drive-thru-reopened-was-told-its-not-vehicle-were-not-serving-you-2876966#gsc.tab=0

[4] https://www.mcdonalds.com/gb/en-gb/help/faq/18662-can-mobility-scooters-use-a-drive-thru.html

[5] https://go.theregister.com/tl/1956/-8473/modernizing-your-net-application-for-google-cloud-platform?td=wptl1956

overunder

"I was humiliated...."

How day making would it be to see someone crying HARD on a carriage in a drive through...? The visuals of that, I'm Lovin' It.

"...to welcome him back in the near future."

Are future vehicles like bicycles allowed, or are they discriminating because he doesn't have a double-drawn carriage... yet?

Obviously this nasty virus

Anonymous Coward

has serious effects on basic functions of the human brain. It's not the lungs he's after, that's for sure so in this case the mask should be extended to cover the entire skull.

Re: Obviously this nasty virus

DJV

Nah, it was like that before Covid - in fact, I think it's a job requirement.

Re: Obviously this nasty virus

Teiwaz

has serious effects on basic functions of the human brain

I pondered that when the Cummings palaver came to light.

Clearly, yes, yes it does.

Richard Boyce

Would you want to clear up the horse shit afterwards?

Fred Flintstone

True, that's nothing to be sniffed at.

That said, you'd have to stop them even coming up the driveway to fully prevent such, er, "deposits"..

Teiwaz

Would you want to clear up the horse shit afterwards?

Probably not as shit as the service.

And shovelling horsedung up can't be as disgusting as some of the cleaning jobs in the kitchen with the congealed grease and fat.

martinusher

Good for the roses....

Thank you Wilbur!

chivo243

Hmm dog shit or horse shit... carnivore shit vs. herbivore shit? I prefer the shove as opposed to a baggie on my hand, thank you...

Mark 85

I don't know about the lad in the article but here in the States, the Amish outfit their buggy horses with a catch cloth.

Horses?

Pen-y-gors

Prior to the present situation (and hopefully again afterwards) our community shop and cafe in delightful mid-Wales gets regular visits from a company that organises pony-trekking in our beautful countryside (visitors welcome - LATER). They turn up with 8 or 10 horses and stop off for tea and carrots before going off to the beach for a gallop through the surf.

I can assure you from personal experience that cleaning up the horse shit isn't too bad if it's done quickly. After a car has driven through it and it has rained it's messier.

Our new building actually has a couple of hitching rails in the car park, especially for them!

Ubbereats?

chivo243

Sorry... why would anybody use one of these services with Ronny or the Colonel? Double the price and half the warmth? Nothing quite like a cold QP w\cheese to turn your stomach.

Re: Ubbereats?

Imhotep

Yeah, make the food worse for an additional cost?

The drive-thru windows never closed here ( south of Nashville, TN), so it's just never been a problem.

As of now, life is going on as normal for the most part.

WTF?

Steve Foster

I've never been much interested in burgers, even before there was a McDonald's on every damn corner, so have never consumed any of their "offerings" (though I have been inside their premises occasionally in the company of others who did partake). I'm much more partial to pizza, though I'm aware that's almost certainly even worse for me in health terms.

Indeed, thinking about it, I wonder what the effect on the nations' waistlines might have been had the government instructed all takeaway food outlets to close for the duration of the lockdown! (I know I'd have eaten less pizza, for a start)

Re: WTF?

chivo243

Pizza bad for you? Nonsense! All food groups are in there, grains, veg, dairy, meats(all kinds) and even fruit, don't forget our friend the tomato!

But like anything excess is the killer, just like a deep dish double meat lovers with double cheese...

Re: WTF?

Jim Mitchell

Fruit on pizza should be pineapple! Hawaiian pizza lovers of the world unite!

Re: WTF?

Imhotep

I don't know about the waistline, but our we3kly food bill went down.

Re: with hour-long queues snaking down the road and around the roundabout.

Anonymous Coward

Yep. And we are getting all the discarded Big Mac boxes thrown from cars as well. It was bliss without their trash polluting the world for a few months.

Around here, the numpties in the McD's queue were taking an hour and a half to get served. They were also blocking the entrance to the KFC next door.

I've only had one Big Mac. One was enough to make me decide that the box probably tasted better than what was suposedly food that it contained.

That was 1977 while I was on holiday in New York.

Re: "One was enough"

DJV

Oh, absolutely! That's also the exact number I've eaten (well, more like gagged on) in my entire life. Never again!

Lazlo Woodbine

"the safety of our guests is really important, so we can't allow horse-drawn vehicles in our drive-thrus."

Did they offer any explanation as to why the safety of their "guests" would be impacted by a horse-drawn vehicle?

Some say the horse shit, but is steaming recycled grass any worse than diesel & petrol fumes spewing out as they queue for an hour?

Safety is realtive

b0llchit

I'm sure it is all caused by relativism. Let me explain:

Being hit with a blazing fast car will only distort time, ensure certain death and be over in a jiffie and is therefore safe for all intends and purposes. Being grazed by a gentle horse with the mass of a black hole will both distort time, space and cause the burger pusher to celebrate the event for an overly long and prolonged time-dilated period and the burgers will become spaghetti-fied in the process of being in the vicinity of the massive but gentle horse.

So, car: safe, horse: danger.

ThatOne

> for milk and cat food

You sir are either a cat, or should watch your diet.

@ThatOne

Anonymous Coward

Every cat servant knows that those are the essentials. Human food comes way down on the list.

Re: @ThatOne

chivo243

I have a special breed of cat, Hooverupin, she keeps the floor below the counter and stove clean! Human food is up there on her list! I can't prepare food without her underfoot. Maybe she's part hobbit?

So what's with the ban on horse-drawn conveyance in the drive-through?

Marketing Hack

Does it ACTUALLY matter if you are sitting in a horse and cart, a Mercedes, a motorcycle, a bicycle or even just standing amongst a line of cars because you want your junk/comfort food and the counter is closed because of coronavirus? Is this because the restaurants want to maintain a certain level of cleanliness, and they don't want the horse to sprinkle manure on the drivethru pavement?

Re: So what's with the ban on horse-drawn conveyance in the drive-through?

Gene Cash

No idea. There was a McDonald's and a Del Taco in Orlando (Florida) that didn't serve motorcycles in the drive-thru. That's ok, we just got 50-odd bikers together and filled the parking lot for a couple hours, and miraculously they changed their policy. We sent one guy in at a time to get a sandwich so we weren't loitering, we were just waiting to get food.

I've also seen places refuse to serve people on bicycles.

However, in Pennsylvania the Amish will not drive cars, so their horse-drawn buggies are seen (and accepted) everywhere. It's part of their religion, so if you refused horses, you'd have a civil-rights discrimination lawyer on your doorstep in a heartbeat. They live for that stuff.

Re: So what's with the ban on horse-drawn conveyance in the drive-through?

Stuart 22

I normally avoid Costa. But in these days when nicer cafes are shut it would still be nice to have something hot and vaguely sharing a name with coffee when out on a long ride (on a bicycle, not a horse). But we too are banned from their drive-thrus.

It's elf & safety apparently. We constitute a greater danger to them and their other clients than folks in cars. And I thought it was the other way round. Silly me!

[1]https://www.cyclingweekly.com/news/latest-news/costa-coffee-release-full-statement-on-why-cyclists-cant-use-drive-through-lanes-457280

[1] https://www.cyclingweekly.com/news/latest-news/costa-coffee-release-full-statement-on-why-cyclists-cant-use-drive-through-lanes-457280

Re: So what's with the ban on horse-drawn conveyance in the drive-through?

Chris G

I am unable to answer your question but what I can tell you, is when I kept horses on the UK, a bunch of us used to go for a good pre-lunch Sunday ride.

One of the routes used to take us past a Little Chef, so when on that route we would have lunch there, the manageress always welcomed us, not because she particularly liked horsesbut the 5 or 6 horses tethered outside always pulled the punters in .

Re: So what's with the ban on horse-drawn conveyance in the drive-through?

The Oncoming Scorn

Little Chef, a part of my childhood there when travelling & in teenage years, our group of motorcyclists stopping in one (Usually at the top of Telegraph Hill), burgers & chips with pancakes & ice-cream to follow.

Icon - Getting me Belstaff.

Re: So what's with the ban on horse-drawn conveyance in the drive-through?

cornetman

> Is this because the restaurants want to maintain a certain level of cleanliness, and they don't want the horse to sprinkle manure on the drivethru pavement?

That might be the case but I would have thought that that issue was rather academic once they had actually reached the order window.

Most likely the robot at the window was told that only car-based people can be served and they took it rather more literally than common-sense would dictate.

Slow fast food

Danny 2

My 89 year old aunt has just been sent from hospital to die at home from heart failure. Due to Covid we haven't been able to visit but my cousin drove her by so we could wave goodbye. She said she is looking forward to two things, sleeping in her own bed without someone sitting on it (apparently a dementia patient on her ward) and a fish supper.

I'm vegetarian but I would die for fish and chips now.

Folk are crazy, increasingly crazy. When the local McD's reopened the queues jammed up the town centre. Before that when the local dump reopened the queues jammed a main arterial A road into Edinburgh. Hold your horses - no offence Jon Jon.

Re: Slow fast food

Marketing Hack

Here in the U.S. the drive-thrus at restaurants have been open all through the lockdown. It's the counters and dining rooms that have been closed. So we haven't had an forced fast food deprivation and sudden relaxation that creates traffic artery clogging in search of circulatory artery clogging.

Re: Slow fast food

BenDwire

Folk are crazy, increasingly crazy. Folk are stupid , increasingly stupid.

Sitting in a car for an hour for a burger? You could walk to a supermarket, buy all the ingredients and cook a burger from scratch in less time. It would be tastier too, and the walk would be of some benefit too.

But the pillocks who toss rubbish out of their windows are probably too thick to use a fork, which might explain a lot. Bring back home economics in schools I say!

Burgers?

Pen-y-gors

A good burger is a fine, occasional, treat. Which rules out MacD (but Burgerking aren't too bad) - but queuing for an hour for one?

I actually had my first burger in 12 weeks last week from our local Kebab house in Machynlleth. No one hour queue. No queue. They have a table at the front door, you wander up and shout your order then wander away for 5 mins. Then they pop your order on the table and you pay with contactless. Easy (and safe). I'm sure many independents are doing the same.

So...No Then To Disability Scooters, Not

The Oncoming Scorn

Only Foals & Horses.

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