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https://youtu.be/hNs7STDhDEM

(A little background. https://www.stewartlee.co.uk/plagiarists-corner/crisps-cheese-stewart-lee-stewart-lee/ )

Unfortunately I can only upvote this once

CIO/Head of IT etc.

For choice, a good slice of manchego pour moi.

"a good slice of manchego"

This is meaningless without mentioning the age you crave. Manchego can be had in various ages ranging from a couple months (younger, if you know the maker) through 2 or more years ...

As with many things in the current enviroment, this seems like a choice best approached Caerphilly...

I Camembert cheese puns at the best of times!

Is a cold sweat inducing cheese from I think Menorca, not cheap but fantastic flavour, otherwise I like good old well matured crumbly cheddar.

As it happens, I eat a lot more Red Leicester than I used to. However, this is because at the moment I am limited to shopping at Tesco, and their generic Red L is - in my opinion - distinctly less inedible than their generic cheddar is. But YMMV, naturally.

Reared on the Lancashire-Yorkshire border, my day-to-day cheeses are Lancashire and Cheshire, slightly sour and crumbly, with good bread and olives. Wensleydale, to me, is becoming too creamy, perhaps because they now export a lot to the US? My late mother did like the Wensleydale with cranberries, though.

Nowt wrong with Wenslydale, if that's what you are in the mood for. However, cheese with fruit/herbs/nuts embedded in it is the work of the devil.

Who needs IT content? This is bootnotes. All work & no play makes ElReg a dull vulture.

I came down to London early 80s. Walked into my local shop and saw an enormous row of cheeses. At first sight this was very promising. Until I realised that almost very single one was a variety of Cheddar. Including various imported Cheddars. I quickly learnt that this was replicated even in the big supermarkets. Up to 50% of the shelf space and of the number of varieties of cheese were all just varieties of Cheddar.

I don't mind a bit of Cheddar. I had some grilled on toast for my lunch today. And for a Plough Person's Lunch with a pint it seems perfect.

But it ain't that special. It's a good almost generic, slightly sour flavoured, slightly waxy OKish cheese.

But that's it.

Oh, I thought you were complaining about the bouzouki player

Oh, I thought you were complaining about the bouzouki player

Just in case anyone is wondering how a bouzouki player got into the discussion, here is why: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hz1JWzyvv8A.

Memories... memories...

The words you are looking for may be 'extruded cheese product'.

(As a born'n'bred Yorkshireman, it shames me slightly to admit that my preferred English cheeses are Lancashire, white Stilton, and Wensleydale, probably in that order.)

That would be because common people like me like a strong Cheddar and must admit I don't like Blue Cheese!

I'll grab my coat now!

I came down to London early 80s … almost very single one was a variety of Cheddar.

This may well be because of the Milk Marketing Board, which was the big cheese(*) in charge of dairy products until the 90s. Monopolistic quangos are not known for useful innovation. For useless innovation however, see [1]Lymeswold .

(*) Sorry.

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lymeswold_cheese

The MMB was dismantled in favour of 'the market' - leaving dairy farmers to negotiate individually with the large dairies and supermarkets. Oddly, the number of dairy farms has fallen by ~75% since then.

Why cheddar? I caught part of a documentary recently which asserted that cheddar was chosen by the UK government as the "cheese" part of World War Two rationing at least partially on the basis that it cuts fairly well without making wasteful crumbs. The population became used to cheese == cheddar and we're still living with the results.

Shropshire Blue and Stilton are my tied 2nd favorite cheeses. Yum!

The properly aged cheddars (at least 18 months) are good.

But then we have

Red Leicester

Wensleydale

Cheshire - the sharper the better

Most of the other hard cheeses

I’m not a fan of blue cheeses.

But the worst cheese in the world is mild cheddar.... you may as well chew a bar of soap for all the flavour it doesn’t have.

"But the worst cheese in the world is mild cheddar"

You haven't faced the choice of "Would you like American, Cheddar or Swiss?" All three taste the same and differ only in colour. The taste starts off bland and rapidly runs behind a sofa and hides.

I live near Cheddar Gorge and it's not right what some of them do to cheese over there ...

Is basically slightly edible rubber. Tasteless to an extreme.

I remember a French friend's first visit to the US, and her reaction on discovering aerosol cheese...

Aerosol cheese is not now, never has been, and never will be actual cheese. Anybody with a central nervous system knows that.

Take it from a Yank ... so-called "American Cheese" is neither. (Mr. Kraft, who inflicted the artificial processed gunge on the planet was Canadian.)

… but that you eat cheese. Feast well and sweet dreams people.

Orange wrapped in foil? Heresy, it's a potato you use, none of that posh fruit stuff. The correct form is pickled onion, square block of ham then cheese. It should always be placed in the centre of the table surround by the other horderves. Aspic recipes are a must for people with discerning tastes.

I would have thought Microsoft would be more akin to a nice Swiss cheese such as Emmental ... given that it is full of holes.

Don't get me started on Apple-smoked cheddar .. costs 10x more than normal cheddar.

Proper apple-smoked cheese is nice, but most of what you get in supermarkets is smoke-flavoured, not smoked, and has a horrible bitter chemical taste.

"Don't get me started on Apple-smoked cheddar .. costs 10x more than normal cheddar."

Make your own. Fire up your grill, wait for the coals to burn down to almost nothing and scrape them off to one side. Throw a handful of apple chips (or twigs) on the fire side, wait for them to start smouldering, then place your cheese on a bit of doubled heavy-duty foil as far away from the fire as you can, with the lid on. You're aiming for a temperature of around 165F (75C) near the cheese. Leave on the smoke for just a couple minutes. Experiment with the timing to figure out your preference ... seconds can matter! Works for any cheese, but be careful with some of the riper, runny varietals.

Disclaimer: I personally don't like smoked cheeses ... but the people I make it for tell me that this method works very well.

That is an insult to Stilton and the fine people who make it. (I come from close to the village of Stilton)

If you want to equate MS to anything then let it be a very ripe 'Tomme de Savoie'.

Smelly, takes the roof off your mouth when eaten and only consumed in very small quatities. Once tried, never forgotten and seldom tasted again.

Once tried, never forgotten and seldom tasted again.

The Dwarf bread of cheeses, then.

'Have you ever eaten dwarf bread?’

‘No.’

‘Everyone should try it once,’ said Carrot. He appeared to consider this. ‘Most people do,’ he added

- Men at Arms - Terry Pratchett

"That is an insult to Stilton"

That's what drew me to this thread ... well, one of the things.

Stilton as far too good to compare to the disaster from Redmond.

Thanks for posting that link - it was an excellent example of British satire. Made me think of an old Monte Python script.

Wait, what did you say? She was being serious? She is actually a government minister? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Tell me another one.