Announcing the official Reg-approved measure of social distancing: The Osman
- Reference: 1585300508
- News link: https://www.theregister.co.uk/2020/03/27/reg_standards_soviet_social_distancing_measure/
- Source link:
The BBC ? Britain's responsible national broadcaster ? has decreed that its on-screen personalities should lead the nation by example and "socially distance" themselves from each other during the COVID-19 pandemic. So it was a few days ago that Dan Walker, regular host of breakfast telly programmes on the Beeb, was engaging in a little light consensual tweeting on that point.
Thus it is, thanks to Walker's use of the vertically unchallenged TV personality Richard Osman as a unit of measure, that today we proudly induct Osman into the hallowed halls of the Register Standards Converter as the approved unit for the measuring of social distancing, that lovely phrase describing how far away from strangers you need to be so you don't catch the novel coronavirus.
One of Walker's viewers posted a screenshot of him on BBC Breakfast with co-host Louise Minchin. The two were seated on opposite ends of the programme's famous sofa, with the viewer joking that the two presenters would soon be "in different studios" if they got any further apart.
We are trying to demonstrate what 2 metres looks like. I'm imagining [1]@richardosman lying between us on the [2]#BBCBreakfast sofa [3]#KeepYourDistance [4]#SocialDistancing [5]https://t.co/Fz7hXlaxbl ? Dan Walker (@mrdanwalker) [6]March 23, 2020
Who is Richard Osman? He's the co-presenter of deadly serious daytime telly quiz show [7]Pointless , for which he fulfils a sort-of Dictionary Corner function while bouncing jokes off co-host Alexander Armstrong. Osman is also one of the tallest men in recorded human history British TV, at 6 foot 7" (2.0066m), and is regularly teased by other telly personalities on programmes such as Have I Got News For You for his ability to let the rest of us know when it's about to rain.
Government advice on not catching the COVID-19 includes exhortations to come no closer than two metres (six and a half feet) to people whom you don't live with. Sage advice for life in general, never mind pandemics.
You can access and convert your way through Osmans on [8]the Standards Converter page itself, as well as finding out how much linguine it takes to reach from Earth to the Moon, how many NHSes the annual US defence budget would buy you, and exactly how large your local park is when expressed in precise sub-divisions of the surface area of Wales. Go forth and convert! ?
[1] https://twitter.com/richardosman?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw
[2] https://twitter.com/hashtag/BBCBreakfast?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw
[3] https://twitter.com/hashtag/KeepYourDistance?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw
[4] https://twitter.com/hashtag/SocialDistancing?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw
[5] https://t.co/Fz7hXlaxbl
[6] https://twitter.com/mrdanwalker/status/1241981050580017152?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw
[7] https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00rhg2r
[8] https://www.theregister.co.uk/Design/page/reg-standards-converter.html
Re: 'Pointless' is OK,...
Wonder if they'll need a social distancing version of answer smash? Take one thing and then split it as far apart as possible?
Re: 'Pointless' is OK,...
Who on earth downvoted this? It is by far the best program on TV, even if so-called 'music' questions never ask questions about music, but only to name a song by some recent bod.
Nothing on Beethoven, Britten or Bach for example. But then again, is that a reflection of the wider ignorance of the general population, I wonder. Consider Haydn's op76 no 3, second movement. I wonder how many people would recognise that. :-)
The Osman
That might help in situations with friendly acquaintances even though before I didn't know who Osman is.
And how do I keep strangers away? A bit of fake coughing works wonders and keeps them much further away then an Osman or two.
On the other hand
If you were to use the Osmond as a unit of social distancing, it would imply ideally being on a different continent.
Re: On the other hand
No, you're thinking of the Corbyn
Re: On the other hand
Shirley the Osmond would be a dental unit.
Re: On the other hand
From Polymorph: "What about the Rimmer directive, which states never tangle with anything that's got more teeth than the entire Osmond Family."
So can we use the Reg Unit to be something like 1 Osmand = a Great White Shark?
Re: On the other hand
Or a focal length?
Re: On the other hand
> Shirley the Osmond would be a dental unit.
No, you're thinking of the Bee Gee
Reg converter
Could the powers in charge of the reg converter please explain why according to the converter a mile is not exactly 8 furlongs or 1760 yards etc. as historically defined?
Probably using an old Pentium for the maths...
It explains it on the page
"To maintain our own high standards, we've had to shave a teensy bit of accuracy off everyone else's. For instance: there are 8 furlongs to a mile, which means 25 miles should convert to 200 furlongs. But it actually converts to 199.something furlongs. As our technical wizard explains: "To turn a mile into anything else, it first needs to be converted into linguine". "
It is a linguine rounding error.
It is a linguine rounding error.
Isn't it always?
An incy wincy teeny weeny yellow polka dot linguine ...
@"a mile is not exactly 8 furlongs or 1760 yards etc. as historically defined?" which mile is that again?
"two metres (six and a half feet)"
Two meters might be 6.5 feet (well, 6.5616798 feet) but I would assert that "six feet" is a better convertion as it is simpler thus easier to remember/understand.
The point is that the recommendation of "two meters" is a guideline, it is not a matter of scientific accuracy such as "2 meters and you are safe, 1.85 meters and you are at much greater risk of catching it".
Re: "two metres (six and a half feet)"
..and 6ft only helps if you're used to imperial measures, 2 meters works for others.
Where I live we're being told 1.5 meters....
Tallest men in British TV
"Osman is also one of the tallest men in British TV, at 6 foot 7" (2.0066m)"
Greg Davies at 1.01 Osmon's (6 foot 8" in unofficial units) is of course to tall to be used as a unit of measure.
2 meters
...is approximately the distance your close-talking cow-orker will back off after you diplomatically apply your cattle prod to his anatomy.
Re: 2 meters
An Aussie friend assures me "If you can smell their fart, move further apart"
But the best advice I've had so far is that people should not cough near you. They should be far from you. If people cough near you, tell them to far cough.
Re: 2 meters
I have 2 meters on my bench power supply, but they're only 1 linguine apart.
Love it!
Can't wait to use an Osman unit!
What would Sheldon do?
If we're looking to the televisual unit for health advice I think The Big Bang Theory's Sheldon displays oodles* of good practice.
'Bus Pants' anyone?
*Is oddles an official measurement yet?
Re: What would Sheldon do?
>>*Is oddles an official measurement yet?
Yes - a hundred oddles make an oodle!
If you are having trouble imagining the 2m between you and another (for social distancing), just imagine the outline of a dead relative between you.
Osman himself already tweeted before Dan Walker got involved:
@richardosman "I measure two metres if anyone wants to use me? #KeepYourDistance" 19:48 - 22/03/2020
Osman? Never heard of 'im.
Still remember the Osmonds though, and I was born half-way through the 70's,so....
'Pointless' is OK,...
.... but Richard Osman's House of Games is far better Tea Time viewing.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b094mjv0