Amazon Wants To Know What Every Corporate Employee Accomplished Last Year (businessinsider.com)
- Reference: 0180554087
- News link: https://slashdot.org/story/26/01/09/1545239/amazon-wants-to-know-what-every-corporate-employee-accomplished-last-year
- Source link: https://www.businessinsider.com/amazon-corporate-employees-performance-reviews-accomplish-last-year-2026-1
The company's internal Forte review system previously asked employees softer questions like "When you're at your best, how do you contribute?" but the new standards place greater emphasis on individual productivity and specific deliverables. Amazon's roughly 350,000 corporate employees must also outline actions they plan to take to continue growing at the company.
[1] https://www.businessinsider.com/amazon-corporate-employees-performance-reviews-accomplish-last-year-2026-1
Spike... (Score:5, Insightful)
ChatGPT gets a sudden spike in prompts like: "Make up three to five accomplishments that corporate overlords won't bother reading."
Fair turned out not to be fair after all. (Score:2)
If my corporate masters want me to be passionate about accomplishing goals, it's standard practice, as well as common decency, to tell me what my passions are.
my passion? (Score:2)
Gutting fish at my desk like in Office Space
"The Bobs" Have Evolved (Score:3, Funny)
"What would you say ya do here?"
Re: (Score:2)
I talk with developers, so the end users don't have to.
Easy (Score:2)
> Accomplishments are specific projects, goals, initiatives, or process improvements that show the impact of your work
Was able to reduce my food budget by 45% by consuming the food and snacks in the break room fridge over the last 12 months. Huge success.
> employees must also outline actions they plan to take to continue growing at the company.
Continuing as before, but increasing my consumption and reducing my exertion, I expect to grow in the coming year.
Wish me luck.
Pronouns include: Slim, Chunky, Tiny, fatso, FatFucker, and teddy bear.
Re: (Score:2)
Pronouns: FatFucker.
Every HR lady everywhere: "How do I fuck this guy today".
Though different HR ladies will mean totally different things by it.
Only three clicks away ... (Score:2)
... from a [1]stellar career [perchance.org] at Amazon.
[1] https://perchance.org/corp-bs
Like every other company? (Score:2)
Isn't this common across corporate jobs? It's been a part of my review processes at different companies for 30ish years.
Find them (Score:2)
Find out who's in charge of ordering laundry detergent for Whole Foods because the stores are constantly out. You can't even order it on Amazon itself because it's constantly out.
Once you find them, they can be fired because clearly they aren't doing their job.
For those wondering, their particular detergent has a specific ingredient which does a great job getting clothes clean.
Easy? (Score:2)
Surely this is easy? Equally, surely your boss knows? Maybe they want to compare those two lists?
Re: seems normal (Score:2)
Top 5 is done every week at my company. And if you have a good reason that it's less than 5, that's ok too. The semiannual performance review is similar, but with self and peer evaluations. And going over 5 is okay too.
Re: (Score:3)
it works well for sales and customer service that have discrete repeatable tasks and keep metrics. or other people with well defined jobs.
less so for most developers and generally more senior people.
and often I don't want to say "well, I spent three days convincing VP A not to rage fire director B".
anyway I personally hate the "justify your existence in public to people who don't know the context" type stuff with a passion.
Re: (Score:2)
For most positions you also don't choose what you work on.
Re: (Score:2)
Sounds more like a question for managers. If you're not monitoring my work then it's a you problem.
Re: (Score:3)
> Sounds more like a question for managers. If you're not monitoring my work then it's a you problem.
In other words, if a manager isn't looking over your shoulder at all times, the very thing you say they shouldn't do because you're an adult, you won't get your work done.
Re: (Score:2)
No, they don't need to micromanage, just manage. If your manager doesn't know what you do, what are they managing? They should be in contact with the people they manage and communicating with them about their tasks. There are more options than "stand at desk and watch employee all the time" and "let the employees do whatever they want".
Re: seems normal (Score:2)
This is far more reasonable than my company does. I get questions made by the executives based on what they want the company to do globally but applied to me individually. So I have to pull my hair out thinking about how to apply a question about how I contributed to sales even though I'm not in sales. Not sure why this is news-- maybe because of the horrible way Musk went about it last year when in DOGE.