Desktop tech sent to prison for an education on strange places to put tattoos
- Reference: 1771572612
- News link: https://www.theregister.co.uk/2026/02/20/on_call/
- Source link:
This week, we present another story from a reader we recently Regomized as [1]Carl , who in the early 1990s took a job doing desktop and local area network support at a US police department that operated a prison.
Carl arrived to find an enormous to-do list and a very busy IT team who were strangely unwelcoming.
[2]
Not long after starting, Carl was assigned a job in the prison. As it was his first visit, a colleague named "Mike" showed him the ropes.
[3]
[4]
Carl found it disconcerting.
"I was introduced to various guards and went through the first security checkpoint," he told On Call. "The heavy iron door slamming behind me was a bit nerve-wracking. The second wasn't so bad."
[5]
But when he encountered orange jumpsuit-clad prisoners, who per procedure stopped their daily chores and moved to stand against the nearest wall when civilians entered the prison, Carl knew he wasn't in Kansas anymore.
Carl and Mike eventually arrived at the problematic PC. A little effort showed the issue was actually with a mainframe, so another team reset a terminal session and the PC started behaving again.
Job done, Mike introduced Carl to some more guards and then told him to make his own way back to the IT team's office, a journey that involved a turn to the left and a short walk.
[6]
Carl did as he was told and found himself in a dim hallway in which he suddenly saw movement on all sides as prisoners shuffled from the back of small cells and approached him. Some started making obscene remarks. Others removed some clothing and propositioned him.
[7]Enforcing piracy policy earned helpdesk worker death threats
[8]New hire fixed a problem so fast, their boss left to become a yoga instructor
[9]In-house techies fixed faults before outsourced help even noticed they'd happened
[10]Tech support detective solved PC crime by looking in the carpark
Yes, dear reader, Mike had pranked Carl by directing him into the holding cells where recently arrested female prisoners awaited their fate.
"Mike and some of the guards showed up, laughing so hard they could barely speak," Carl told On Call. "It turned out this was a standard hazing routine for some new employees."
Carl took it well enough and received many slaps on the back.
But he was still stunned by the experience.
"All I could say was 'I didn't know anyone could get tattoos like that,'" which just made Mike laugh even harder.
Have you ever participated in hazing rituals, unwittingly or by design? If so, join the On Call contributors club by [11]clicking here to send us an email so we can tell your story on a future Friday. ®
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[1] https://www.theregister.com/2026/02/06/on_call/
[2] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_onprem/front&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=2&c=2aZg-0BGB8DOhkrG6Qf8J7gAAARc&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D2%26raptor%3Dcondor%26pos%3Dtop%26test%3D0
[3] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_onprem/front&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=4&c=44aZg-0BGB8DOhkrG6Qf8J7gAAARc&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D4%26raptor%3Dfalcon%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0
[4] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_onprem/front&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=3&c=33aZg-0BGB8DOhkrG6Qf8J7gAAARc&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D3%26raptor%3Deagle%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0
[5] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_onprem/front&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=4&c=44aZg-0BGB8DOhkrG6Qf8J7gAAARc&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D4%26raptor%3Dfalcon%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0
[6] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_onprem/front&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=3&c=33aZg-0BGB8DOhkrG6Qf8J7gAAARc&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D3%26raptor%3Deagle%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0
[7] https://www.theregister.com/2026/02/13/on_call/
[8] https://www.theregister.com/2026/02/06/on_call/
[9] https://www.theregister.com/2026/01/30/on_call/
[10] https://www.theregister.com/2026/01/23/on_call/
[11] mailto:oncall@theregister.com
[12] https://whitepapers.theregister.com/
As much as some people apparently think hazing rituals are funny, I think they've been invented by assholes trying to find ways to justify the pleasure they derive from making others suffer.
Yes, this sort of BS is way over the line. But I imagine complaining about it would have been futile at the time and marked the person out for futher victimisation.
A lot of people in IT tend to be neurodiverse in some way. Part of that can include not knowing how to handle social interactions. Combine that with someone playing a prank because they think it might be funny, and it sounds like grounds for a complaint for bullying.
As for allowing someone to be unsupervised in a prison, there would be questions if someone got physically attacked, or Carl started handing out contraband to the prisoners.
Hazing = abuse
While solving an IT issue I once came across a guy in a -18C cold store in underpants and boots wrapped to a post with pallet wrapping 'cling film'.
I went straight to the Site Manager who said "It's his birthday, they'll cut him out in a few minutes!"
Had they placed something between the unfortunate guy's back and the post then it would not have been so bad, but without he could have suffered permanent harm.
Being an H&S team member at my IT based site in the same group, I went to my Site Manager to report what I had seen.
The Cold Store Site Manager left by 'mutual consent' in a few days.
Yes, I am expecting down ticks. But banter is one thing - physical harm is another!
Re: Hazing = abuse
I doubt we've worked for the same company but that sort of thing was a sacking offence at the cold stores I worked at because one such incident had gone too far and lead to the victim being left with permanent scarring.
Re: Hazing = abuse
I don't think that's a sacking offence. It's a criminal offence.
Re: Hazing = abuse
Partner told me of a case in the North East (not where she worked, fortunately) where they used to put a compressed air line up the legs of people's work gear to turn them into "Michelin Man". They managed to (literally) blow one apprentice up, killing him.
I've also heard of people being hung by their "safety harness" from the forks of a lift truck and left there for hours.
Re: Hazing = abuse
I've also heard of people being hung by their "safety harness" from the forks of a lift truck and left there for hours.
Suspension Syndrome is a recognised threat to health, and can lead to a fatality, so another one that could have serious consequences.
Re: Hazing = abuse
Yes, as a caver I am very well aware of the issue. It's why my group always take an extra rope, long enough for the longest pitch in the cave, and other rescue gear. Given them we can always rescue someone incapacitated on the rope - sometimes upwards, mostly downwards. And yes, we do practice this every couple of years, first with a heavy bag (to illustrate issues that might occur) and then a live casualty (you can't really simulate having to climb up the rope and over the casualty - rescues can only happen from above) .
Re: Hazing = abuse
Compressed air can get into the blood stream and cause an embolism.
Re: Hazing = abuse
Totally agree.
—18°C cold rooms: typically fan forced and have panic buttons.
Having worked fully clothed in a lab one, I know how quickly you can become hypothermic and lose fine motor control and suffer confusion. It is terrifying.
If the victim suffered from a cardiac infirmity such as an arrhythmia, the physical stress of extreme cold could have precipitated a fatal cardiac arrest.
Definitely homicide. Depending on your jurisdiction might be murder but definitely manslaughter. (Reckless and foreseeable.)
Re: Hazing = abuse
No downvotes from me. Having a bit of fun that doesn't actually harm anyone (least of all the victim) is fine, but as soon as it crosses into potential physical harm it's a definite "hell no". That Cold Store site manager deserved what he got. And I hope anyone else involved in that little incident got an ear full as well.
Pictures!
Or it didn't happen!
This is all-around horrible.
First of all, hazing is abuse. Self-perpetuating abuse, as hazers need newcomers to become hazers too (lest they are forced to admit to themselves that they're abusers). It's not fun, it does not create bonding, it's just harmful. If something like that happened to me, I'd drop the job instantly. Might even consider legal action, depending on how it goes.
Secondly, the inmates are human beings. They are not the monkeys in your personal circus. Spend years basically telling them to their faces that you don't want them to be part of civilized society, don't act so surprised when they get out and immediately turn to crime again.
hazing is abuse
Hazing is abuse. Still, I wouldn't classify this as hazing.
Re: hazing is abuse
In reply to your comment of "Hazing is abuse. Still, I wouldn't classify this as hazing."
From the article:
"Some started making obscene remarks. Others removed some clothing and propositioned him."
And as Filippo said, above:
"...the inmates are human beings. They are not the monkeys in your personal circus"
It certainly sounds like abuse to me, on quite a few levels.
Re: hazing is abuse
If the inmates were asked/made to act like that, it's definitely abuse.
If they're the sort of people who are known for acting like that and the hazer was taking advantage of that, it's borderline abuse but I probably wouldn't act on it. (although if the genders were reversed I would, so perhaps I need a rethink)
Having a civilian unescorted in a restricted area however... THAT deserves punishment.
Re: hazing is abuse
> If the inmates were asked/made to act like that, it's definitely abuse
The inmates would likely be aware of the situation, easily spotting the "fresh meat", and would also know that their joining in would gain them approval from the hazers, which included some guards.
It may seem low key, but doing anything to gain approval from the guards, and from the other prisoners: that is a coercive environment.
Cheer up, kids.
This never happened.
Re: Cheer up, kids.
Source, please ?
Where you there ?
Re: Cheer up, kids.
Too many basic mistakes in the narrative.
Comes off as having been invented by AI.
Re: Cheer up, kids.
Basic mistakes?
Care to enlighten those of us without deep experience of the environment? Are the orange clad not told to stand aside? Were there no mainframes in use by any US prisons in the 1990s? Were US police departments forbidden from sharing IT staff with prisons?
Seriously, you can't just make that accusation without even bothering to provide a single shred of detail; this isn't the forum for the Guantanamo Newsletter so there really is no expectation of shared experience or even common knowledge.
Basic Rule.
If you are going to work in a restricted area of any sort, absolutely insist on being escorted to the work area, on being supervised at all times while performing the task, and escorted from the area. And having a record of the whole process (who, what, where and when) would also be advisable.
If the chap † supervising wants to skive off for a slash/fag either join him or insist on his waiting until his replacement takes over, or on being escorted off the site until supervision can be provided.
If the employer finds you are too much trouble, there are a lot more organisations that take physical security seriously than those that don't.
When the merde truly hits the ventilateur , lax organisations are notorious for assigning blame to the innocent whose only crime is not being sensibly paranoid.
† chap/he could be chapette/she but generally women seem to take this stuff more seriously and have no tolerance for hazing for obvious reasons.
Re: Basic Rule.
I often worked under supervision - to the level that they followed you into the toilets and stood outside the cubicle! (To listen for hidden communications devices being used.)
If anyone doesn't take their responsibility seriously, then they shouldn't be given the responsibility.
A shame they weren't using BSD, it has its own Jails
They couldn't have been using Windows. Too many doors!
School church group trip to prison
When I was in middle school, we had a field trip to the local women's prison. Not sure why.
Note that my school was a private one, operated by a Lutheran church. It's why I'm atheist today.
Anyway, our supervising teacher was very handsome, and I learned a LOT of things that day, including the fact that a human can actually turn "beet red", and that redheads can be redheaded all over, so to speak.
No idea how they thought this was a was a good idea, except it showed just how sheltered and out of touch with reality the school staff were.
On a more educational level, we once went to a jury trial in a murder case, after being instructed that anyone that let out so much as a peep during the proceedings would suffer dearly for it.
The case was declared a mistrial after the knife was passed around the jury for inspection with a label saying "murder weapon" and not "alleged murder weapon" and this left a very deep impression on me. It gave me quite a lot to think about for a very long time.
"A little effort showed the issue was actually with a mainframe"
I imagine someone getting that job without knowing what they're doing, spending hours on troubleshooting a basic issue, all while the rest of the team waits for him to show up to the cooter corridor.