BOFH: Loss adjuster discovers liability is a two-way street
(2026/02/13)
- Reference: 1770977708
- News link: https://www.theregister.co.uk/2026/02/13/bofh_2025_episode_3/
- Source link:
Episode 3 It turns out that our major network core upgrade didn't go as planned. Replacing a three-stack switch AND a firewall in one go is no one's idea of fun, so we decided to run all the new kit up in a storeroom and push the existing configs across to it. Everything went seamlessly until the Boss, in an uncharacteristic fit of energy, decided to replace the water bottle in the cooler and dropped it on the new kit...
So the PFY, the Boss, and I are meeting with a loss adjuster from the insurance company.
"About this claim..." the insurance guy explains.
[1]
"Yes?" the Boss asks.
[2]
[3]
"You're claiming for water damage to a network switch."
"THREE network switches," the PFY corrects. "And a firewall."
[4]
"I... sure," the guy replies. "So they were damaged...?"
"When he," the PFY says, nodding at the Boss, "dropped a water cooler bottle, which split and flooded the equipment."
"So... why was this equipment not installed in a server rack?"
[5]
"It was being commissioned," the PFY explains.
"Surely you can do that in the rack?"
"The rack is full of our existing kit."
"Hmm. You see, coverage for IT equipment is only when installed according to industry standard."
"If we're talking industry standard, you'll often find switches balanced on a wheelie chair and plugged into someone's desktop while being configured," I point out. "But is this going to be one of those situations when we're only covered if it occurred during a full moon on the 29th of February and only if we're wearing an anti-static wrist strap?"
"Were you wearing an anti-static wrist strap?"
"No. I wasn't in the room."
"So... the device was unattended?"
"As is most networking gear," I point out.
"Yes. Well. Now, did you take any steps to mitigate the risk?"
"Mitigate the risk?" I ask.
"Yes, you know, waterproof the equipment in any way?"
"Waterproof network switches?!?"
"So... that's a no then?"
"No."
"OK. And did you try to limit further damage?"
"We locked the Boss out of the cupboard," I note.
"And the equipment is no longer working?"
"It might be, but it's water damaged, so its usable life is likely degraded."
"OK..." he pauses. "So as a loss adjuster, I weigh up the merits of your claim and whether the loss meets the coverage criteria of your policy."
The PFY can see where this is going and wanders off, but the Boss believes there's good news coming.
"On the face of it, the damage was as a result of an accident, which meets our criteria. However, the equipment wasn't installed in a dedicated IT space and wasn't given reasonable protection in a non-IT area."
...
So the meeting ends with the disappointment I'd expected, and we may just have to install kit with the potential working lifetime of a marshmallow teapot...
Our adjuster leaves to report his decision to his company, only to be back in the office about ten minutes later...
"OK, where's my car?" he snaps.
"Your car?" I ask.
"Yes. It was parked in the basement, but now it's gone."
"In our basement?" I ask.
"Yes."
"But that's for executive and service vehicles only. It says it on the sign outside."
"Your security people let me in."
"Hmmm. You see, our liability only covers executive and service vehicles. Why didn't you use a parking building?"
[6]BOFH : Eight pints of a lager and a management breakthrough
[7]BOFH : Every computer system eventually serves ads
[8]BOFH : The Christmas spirit has run dry – time to show some chiller instinct
[9]BOFH : All through the house, not a creature was stirring except the homicidal vacuum cleaner
"I was coming to see you."
"Hmmm. Were you wearing an anti-static strap?" I ask.
"What?"
"An anti-static strap. Were you wearing one when you parked?"
"Why the hell would I need an anti-static strap?"
"Oh, I'm just gathering information. For the loss adjustment. Moving along, did you take steps to mitigate the risk?"
"What risk?"
"Parking in our building."
"That's not risky!"
"Isn't it?" I ask. "And you left your car unattended."
"Of course I did. It's a car," he gasps.
"Hmm..." I sigh sadly.
"You must've unlocked my car!" he snaps.
"How could I possibly do that?"
"You must've activated my key fob!"
"Seriously? It's got less range than Ashton Kutcher, and none of us went near it. But still, you never answered the question – did you take steps to mitigate the risk?"
"What steps?"
"I don't know – did you waterproof it in any way?"
"Why would I waterproof my car?"
"Why indeed. You realize this building is quite close to the Thames?"
"What's that got to do with anything?"
"Well, if it were to roll down the slight hill outside, into the Thames."
"Why would it roll down the hill?"
"I don't know, perhaps it's precariously balanced on a pair of pallet lifters. Just as a hypothetical. Oooh look, I've just got a holiday snap from my assistant – and there's a pallet jack handle in the background."
...
Half an hour later, we have successfully negotiated the replacement of our damaged kit and our adjuster has successfully negotiated the precise location of his motor vehicle.
I love a good negotiation and look forward to tomorrow's insurance negotiation for the return of the adjuster's laptop, carelessly left on the passenger seat of his car.
I might go and break something.
[10]BOFH: Previous episodes on The Register
[11]The Compleat BOFH Archives 95-99
Get our [12]Tech Resources
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[6] https://www.theregister.com/2026/01/30/bofh_2025_episode_2/
[7] https://www.theregister.com/2026/01/16/bofh_2026_episode_1/
[8] https://www.theregister.com/2025/12/27/bofh_2025_episode_25/
[9] https://www.theregister.com/2025/12/19/bofh_2025_episode_24/
[10] https://www.theregister.com/data_centre/bofh/
[11] http://www.bofharchive.com/
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So the PFY, the Boss, and I are meeting with a loss adjuster from the insurance company.
"About this claim..." the insurance guy explains.
[1]
"Yes?" the Boss asks.
[2]
[3]
"You're claiming for water damage to a network switch."
"THREE network switches," the PFY corrects. "And a firewall."
[4]
"I... sure," the guy replies. "So they were damaged...?"
"When he," the PFY says, nodding at the Boss, "dropped a water cooler bottle, which split and flooded the equipment."
"So... why was this equipment not installed in a server rack?"
[5]
"It was being commissioned," the PFY explains.
"Surely you can do that in the rack?"
"The rack is full of our existing kit."
"Hmm. You see, coverage for IT equipment is only when installed according to industry standard."
"If we're talking industry standard, you'll often find switches balanced on a wheelie chair and plugged into someone's desktop while being configured," I point out. "But is this going to be one of those situations when we're only covered if it occurred during a full moon on the 29th of February and only if we're wearing an anti-static wrist strap?"
"Were you wearing an anti-static wrist strap?"
"No. I wasn't in the room."
"So... the device was unattended?"
"As is most networking gear," I point out.
"Yes. Well. Now, did you take any steps to mitigate the risk?"
"Mitigate the risk?" I ask.
"Yes, you know, waterproof the equipment in any way?"
"Waterproof network switches?!?"
"So... that's a no then?"
"No."
"OK. And did you try to limit further damage?"
"We locked the Boss out of the cupboard," I note.
"And the equipment is no longer working?"
"It might be, but it's water damaged, so its usable life is likely degraded."
"OK..." he pauses. "So as a loss adjuster, I weigh up the merits of your claim and whether the loss meets the coverage criteria of your policy."
The PFY can see where this is going and wanders off, but the Boss believes there's good news coming.
"On the face of it, the damage was as a result of an accident, which meets our criteria. However, the equipment wasn't installed in a dedicated IT space and wasn't given reasonable protection in a non-IT area."
...
So the meeting ends with the disappointment I'd expected, and we may just have to install kit with the potential working lifetime of a marshmallow teapot...
Our adjuster leaves to report his decision to his company, only to be back in the office about ten minutes later...
"OK, where's my car?" he snaps.
"Your car?" I ask.
"Yes. It was parked in the basement, but now it's gone."
"In our basement?" I ask.
"Yes."
"But that's for executive and service vehicles only. It says it on the sign outside."
"Your security people let me in."
"Hmmm. You see, our liability only covers executive and service vehicles. Why didn't you use a parking building?"
[6]BOFH : Eight pints of a lager and a management breakthrough
[7]BOFH : Every computer system eventually serves ads
[8]BOFH : The Christmas spirit has run dry – time to show some chiller instinct
[9]BOFH : All through the house, not a creature was stirring except the homicidal vacuum cleaner
"I was coming to see you."
"Hmmm. Were you wearing an anti-static strap?" I ask.
"What?"
"An anti-static strap. Were you wearing one when you parked?"
"Why the hell would I need an anti-static strap?"
"Oh, I'm just gathering information. For the loss adjustment. Moving along, did you take steps to mitigate the risk?"
"What risk?"
"Parking in our building."
"That's not risky!"
"Isn't it?" I ask. "And you left your car unattended."
"Of course I did. It's a car," he gasps.
"Hmm..." I sigh sadly.
"You must've unlocked my car!" he snaps.
"How could I possibly do that?"
"You must've activated my key fob!"
"Seriously? It's got less range than Ashton Kutcher, and none of us went near it. But still, you never answered the question – did you take steps to mitigate the risk?"
"What steps?"
"I don't know – did you waterproof it in any way?"
"Why would I waterproof my car?"
"Why indeed. You realize this building is quite close to the Thames?"
"What's that got to do with anything?"
"Well, if it were to roll down the slight hill outside, into the Thames."
"Why would it roll down the hill?"
"I don't know, perhaps it's precariously balanced on a pair of pallet lifters. Just as a hypothetical. Oooh look, I've just got a holiday snap from my assistant – and there's a pallet jack handle in the background."
...
Half an hour later, we have successfully negotiated the replacement of our damaged kit and our adjuster has successfully negotiated the precise location of his motor vehicle.
I love a good negotiation and look forward to tomorrow's insurance negotiation for the return of the adjuster's laptop, carelessly left on the passenger seat of his car.
I might go and break something.
[10]BOFH: Previous episodes on The Register
[11]The Compleat BOFH Archives 95-99
Get our [12]Tech Resources
[1] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/bofh&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=2&c=2aY8ETnvsz1Yu8dTPhR0leQAAAJc&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D2%26raptor%3Dcondor%26pos%3Dtop%26test%3D0
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[6] https://www.theregister.com/2026/01/30/bofh_2025_episode_2/
[7] https://www.theregister.com/2026/01/16/bofh_2026_episode_1/
[8] https://www.theregister.com/2025/12/27/bofh_2025_episode_25/
[9] https://www.theregister.com/2025/12/19/bofh_2025_episode_24/
[10] https://www.theregister.com/data_centre/bofh/
[11] http://www.bofharchive.com/
[12] https://whitepapers.theregister.com/
Re: "the last full Moon on Feb. 29 was in 1972, and the next will be in 2048"
Michael H.F. Wilkinson
Nice power of two, that next one.
I'll get me coat
Re: "the last full Moon on Feb. 29 was in 1972, and the next will be in 2048"
b0llchit
We'll never get to there because the clock runs out in 2038.
Brilliant episode, once again
Michael H.F. Wilkinson
"I don't know, perhaps it's precariously balanced on a pair of pallet lifters. Just as a hypothetical. ..."
That really cheered me up
less range than Ashton Kutcher
Bebu sa Ware
Nice double play. " Dude, Where's My Car? "
This vvvv
Guy de Loimbard
"You must've activated my key fob!"
"Seriously? It's got less range than Ashton Kutcher.....
That, nearly had coffee spat across my laptop as I read!
Well played author, well played indeed!
Pint on me===>
"the last full Moon on Feb. 29 was in 1972, and the next will be in 2048"
Just in case you were wondering. ;)
If you trust some gratuitous browser AI that kicks off with:
People also ask "Has there ever been a full moon on February 29th?"
What people ? Not normal people surely ? El Rego commentards excepted of course perhaps.